Adieu 2017

Ah, is it December again, right? The last month of the year. By the time it would be posted, we will be in the last week too. Isn’t it amusing that how fast a year meets it end and a new year arrives at our doorstep when we are in hangover state after our 31st December heavy drinking marathon. 

I hope this ending year was a great ride for all of you. For me, it was an exceptional year. 

Allow me list out all substantial developments and events which happened in my life this year.

1. Left Cognizant (finally). What a ride that was? Not a single day passed without surprises. Some good and some nasty.  2.7 years spent well and how much I gained there in that time was the highlight (both monetary and experiential). 

2. Met new people at UX bootcamp at Bangalore.  Discussing Design principles with them was awesome. I can’t ask for a better Design Mentor than Atul. 

3. Attended a school’s buddy engagement at Jamshedpur. It is funny how as kids we used to attend other’s engagements and weddings and now each other’s. I still have 4 years in my hand for that stuff. Reconnected with lots of old friends. 

4. Maaji got sick and luckily I was at home at that time. Thankfully my course was delayed to due some reasons. Toughest 15 days of my life. 

5. Shifted to Mumbai. Biggest event of this year. I wanted to live in Mumbai since I was 15 years old. Dreams do come true. The city didn’t disappointed me at all. 

6. Went back to advanced maths and stuff after college. Loved it but I had lost edge in it. Now I need calculator for almost everything. I am getting old, I assume. 

7. I got the best pack at S P Jain’s Big Data and Visual Analytics program. The biggest collection of unique perspectives in a class handling toughest maths and computational problems day over day. Couldn’t have asked for a better batch considering my VR program didn’t even lift off from the runway. (It is another thing that most of their thoughts are downright stupid and they make me wonder under which rock they were living before the course.) 

8. Himanshu’s Mumbai visit , coincidentally at the time when I was at my low. And the new breath of fresh perspective he brings into my life. One day hopefully, I will get a chance to work with him.

9. Made a lots of friends. Hopefully, we will meet upcoming year to talk more about design, product development and bikes.

10. N, M and A are going well interwoven in my life.

11. Crazy flatmates. I didn’t wanted to move-in in sharing flats but ended up moving in and I got a bunch of crazy people. Cheers to our late night ice cream walks at JVLR.

12. Quick visit to Bangalore to attend A’s birthday. Diwali with family was bonus.
Quick recap on what happened on this site.

  • 10 posts.
  • 25 new followers.

It is not bad considering I don’t write that well. Let’s see how the next year turns out for me and my activities.

This year I had the company of lots of good books and movies. Follow me on Instagram to see what I am reading every now and then. My Instagram handle.

Good movies seen this year :

  • Logan
  • Justice League 
  • Star Wars : The Last Jedi
  • Tiger Zinda Hai (I am a proud bhaitard) 

Was planning to include some pictures (like last year), but wouldn’t do it because considering the amount of pictures I had taken this year, it will take another 4-5 hours as I have to go through a lot to select some. Not gonna happen. May be next year. We will see.

So signing off for this year. We will meet next year. 

Last post didn’t had any songs list so this postwill have few more. Lots of great songs came out in these last 2 months. 


A not so sane post


I had no plans to write it but I am writing. I don’t know why but I think this is the place where I vent out my feelings. I don’t know whether it will get published or not. If it gets published, it would be a miracle and this post will get jealousy treatment from the posts in the drafts folder. That’s the irony. I end up doing things which I either don’t like or don’t want to. It is my story since childhood but I have always improvised and now I am not able to do that even. It would be better if we don’t get into it. 

Lots of interviews. Thank God, it didn’t went upto double digits. In all of them,  I was rejected because they don’t see a designer fit for a business analyst or a data scientist role. They were all banks and some stupid start-ups.  I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you guys, just test me. May you rot in hell and your company tanks. First as an engineer, I slogged to get into UX and then as an designer, same thing for a Data Scientist role. I had the proper training and skill set but with people are people. 

Life has become a series of unending failures over the past couple of years. I have been wandering about trying to find that one great success which will help me to redeem my lost pride. Of course there are a few small things which cheer me up every now and then and make me believe that I had achieved something. But what I need is some cataclysmic event (not necessarily a disastrous one but definitely an earth-shaking one) to change the course of my life and bring me back on track. It could be getting a good job or meeting some amazing people. The only thing which helps me to maintain my faith in life is my firm belief that good things happen to good people. 


I was just lying contemplating what has gone wrong in my interviews that no one is selecting me as an intern. It is the first time that a good number of companies had rejected me stating that with my design background, I might not be a Data Scientist. So you can understand, I was on verge on becoming hulk and thrashing people here and there. You don’t pay a lumpsum amount to an intern, so what the entire fuss is about. Basically, an intern is a cheap labour. So in hiring cheap labours, you don’t have the right to have pretty much high standards but I was wrong. People do have high standards. My whatsapp was muted, email accounts tabs were closed. So there was no way that I can get mails and messages from college regarding more internships news. N called me to check my mail and I did and I got selected in an advertising company. And I was so much happy, I started swearing and I swear 24*7, doesn’t matter what the situation. So normal routine calls took place. And I played games till 3am and slept because I didn’t wanted to miss India vs Sri Lanka match. The match was just awesome. Rohit Sharma’s 200 not out innings will be remembered always and it will be even tough for him to match new standards set for him by him today. 3 200+ scores in ODI sounds too good for any cricketer but he is the HIT-MAN of Indian Cricket Team so it will be fine and fun to watch further developments. 

Now back to my life. 

In a few months,  it will be time for goodbyes and farewells. I might not see these people again, ever and this thought saddens me. It is not like I like them all but I also don’t hate them. We all have different reasons to be who we are. But even then, there is no excuse for stupidity.

I am too old to make new friends now. I have been doing it for the last 25 years with great ease and have always looked forward to meeting new people and making friends. When you have studied in different educational institutions and lived in many cities , making new friends becomes detrimental to your survival. But I was always good at it. Now I am not sure whether I’ll be able to do the whole charade all over again. Judging peoples’ characters, finding the right set of people who are emotionally and mentally compatible with you, I don’t think I can do it now. Perhaps I can still do it, but I don’t have the energy or the inclination to do it. I think I have become a little too secure in my life and don’t want to leave this comfort zone.

Life seems to be following a predetermined course and I feel like a mere spectator, seeing my own life pass by. My reserve of stored optimism is slowly drying out and that is a bad thing because no matter how much I swear day in day out, I always believe that in last over, whole match can turn upside for me in a good way.  

In other news : 

Today is the last day of my freedom(or boredom or whatever else you call a state of being in limbo).  Tomorrow I take the first big step of going from IT to Media . Tomorrow I enter the world of iProspect(sister company of Dentsu Aegis Network) and start my internship . So goodbye my dear Amazon Prime and Netflix . I don’t know when we’ll meet again. The AD+Tech people are going to make me work my arse off(sorry for the profanity but if the immortal bard Shakespeare can use it, so can I). My day will begin early in the morning as I live in North Mumbai and office is in South Mumbai . After having done the usual things in the usual places(you know what I mean) I’ll catch local because 3 months cab fare will kill me. After doing my project work(I don’t even want to go into the details of that because I have no idea what I’ll be doing) till six in the evening I’ll head back home where good food, my bed and the alarm clock set for another day will be waiting for me. The vicious circle goes on.

Look at the bright side of all this(I am still trying to find that side but so far failure). So any one with a few words of wisdom or dumbness drop in a few lines. I’ll sign off with these words :

There is eternal providence even in the fall of a sparrow — Shakespeare in Hamlet. 

Down the River of Pain

At a meeting the last week at Rude Lounge(Tinder, obviously) I was with this beautiful exotic-looking specimen of the fairer sex. Though I was instantly attracted towards her, something about her appearance revolted me. It took me some time to understand this dichotomy of my reaction towards her appearance. This girl was wearing a diamond nose ring and she had each of her ears pierced in six places. She was wearing beautiful ear rings (12 of them) and was looking very ethnic in her cotton salwar. So modern yet so traditional. I wish we could go longer (atleast as long as I am in Mumbai. Long distances doesn’t work with me unfortunately).

Now I have no problem with people using their bodies as a medium of self-expression through various kinds of body art – tattoos, piercing, etc. In fact I think a tattoo or a piercing at the right place looks extremely sexy. And I thought this particular girl looked very hot because of the piercing. However, I cringed at the thought of her or anybody else inflicting such pain on their bodies. Friends inform me that the process is not at all painful and it’s just like getting injected with a big needle. The process is also very swift because these days they use a device which resembles a nail gun (a shudder just ran down my spine while writing those two words). I remember accompanying a four year old cousin to her first ear piercing some few years back. I also remember her laughing all the way back home and me having an expression of sheer terror on my face. It had taken me a month to get over the barbaric ritual I saw that day. The scene still haunts me sometimes in my dreams (I need a beer or two to calm my nerves).

I am back. Nothing is more haunting than the old memories.

Now I was a chicken when I was a child. As a kid, doctors had to face a lot of  problems  injecting me. I even winced at the sight of a large injection (and oh boy! I got many of those, me being a clumsy dolt as a kid). Even my hair cutting scenes were a lot pain for my parents as soon as I see a scissor I used to cry in a way which would put Karan Johar’s famed character to shame. But things changed with time and then came a time when I used to laugh after getting beaten because I knew I was going to beat that person to pulp later on. And yet I would never have the courage to get a tattoo or a piercing (not that I want one). Something about this whole piercing business smells of masochism. I understand how creating an image for oneself (through the clothes we wear, brands we sport, etc.) is so important these days when the first impression means everything (I would have never called the girl exotic, sexy or hot sans her piercing) and yet how far are we ready to go with this. It has to be a certain pleasure we derive from inflicting pain on ourselves which warrants such extreme (think nail gun) measures.

Personally, I am big fan of pain. Pain can do a lot of good. Its power to inspire is unmatched, and till my search for a muse remains fruitless, pain remains the acting-muse. Not that I have to go looking for someone to pain me, but there have been instances when under the effect of Bacchus’ greatest gift to mankind I have asked a few inspiring pugilists to land the real McCoy bang on my face. One chap actually obliged me and I was left with a cut an inch long inside my mouth which made eating anything impossible for the next one week. I will always remember that chap because it turned out to be a very fruitful week in which I wrote feverishly. But never would I condone the act of piercing.

Remembering the advice a friend gave a few years back –

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

’cause everybody hurts. take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. don’t throw your hand. oh, no. don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone.

Random Videos :



TINDER : A tryst about LEGACY

This came soon , right?

Just within 1 week of the last post, a new one is here. I even surprised myself this time. This wasn’t planned, it is circumstantial.

So as you guys already know that I left my job and I am studying Machine Learning in Mumbai. 6 months Post Graduate Specialization Program. And in a 6 months program, you don’t get weekends and holidays (even on National Holidays,if any class is planned). Actual plan was of Virtual Reality as it seemed the next logical step for a UX Designer but fate had different plans and I ended up in the Machine Learning. For the first time, having an engineering degree is useful as Computer Science Graduates usually have these subjects on face value basis(not in depth , just the introduction). So after 9  days of continuous class , I was getting frustated as the last post was already posted and I didn’t had anything to distract me from studies. So I installed Tinder and ended up doing lots of “right swipe” . Sometimes I believe in my luck and do Tinder as there is a very nice study about Tinder . Have a look on it , here.

Tinder Experiments

It states that “the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.” And I am definitely not in the top 20% of the men. If given some thought I might be in bottom 20%.

But luck had helped me a lot in Bengaluru, so I tried it here and I got few “right swipes” in return and we ended up chatting and it resulted in few F2F meeting. Except for the 1, rest was typical scene : Girl meet Boy, they talk about their lives and hobbies while mentally scrutinizing each other and leave for the best of each other. But this one girl was different and we met and ended up chatting for more than 3 hours. Guess psychology students have more understandings of the worlds among us. She had a unique perspective on every thing and the best thing , she is comfortable with the fact that the world is full of idiots. She is sort of modern day Athena. I right-swiped her because of a lot of similarity to an old friend AS. Little did I knew that mentally she would be at the different level than most of us. I had never seen a girl so cute yet fierce in specs.  During our chats , in the “hi – hello” phase I shared my blog with her and she figured out most of my writing is about my issues with my legacy and we discussed about what legacy is and why I am obsessed with it and she even sent a short but deep post about it to me. Have a look on it.

It’s ok to not have a legacy.

I don’t know whether these opposing ideas are true or not but one thing is for sure , “legacy thing” is always a “+1” with me ,everywhere. And if I stopped carrying it with me, then I can be little more present in the moment. It will not be easy at first but with time , I can get rid of this emotional baggage.

Let’s see what lies ahead.

In other news, I liked a movie and that movie bombed at the Box Office. I liked the first part  but bollywood being bollywood needed to add typical bollywood masala in it.

Videos :


9490 days of me


Even writing the title of this post made me feel a little old. Coming 13th , I will be 26 and that means I will have spent 9490  days on earth. It is always disheartening to think about the time ,you have spent some X years on earth ; living , eating, breathing , walking ,every single day on earth and yet have achieved nothing something substantial. Yes, it may sound naive or some may call it stupid that I am neglecting the small joys of life because there are few people who didn’t have that also. They are important but as per Maslow’s triangle , psychological needs are the starting steps and my psychological need since childhood was to create a worth-while and long lasting legacy – something that will survive me for generations to come. There is a complete post on this by me. Have a look on it.

Dreams and Legacy

Maslows’ hierarchy of need :


Last year’s birthday was fun. ( See Dengue-fied!  ) .

This year I don’t know. I will be in middle of my examinations . This is my legacy since childhood , on my birthday either I was giving exams or collecting my results. On the lines of it, I will be in my exams this year too.I don’t know what I am going to do in the exam but something shall be done and will be done. Okay, I got drifted away from what made me write this post in the first place. It is about lessons, learned both hard way and soft way. I am not going to distinguish among them . Lessons are lessons.


Lesson 1: Thank you(s) should be loud and Fuck you(s) should be silent.

Lesson 2: The world doesn’t owe you anything.

Lesson 3: It is always better to let things develop themselves and not to disturb their growth/progress as most of the time, you can end up making them worse.

Lesson 4: Don’t make plans. Just keep on improvising things as they come up.

Lesson 5: It is always a good thing to have values as people surrounding you can be a bit ass and have different values and most of the times , others’ lenses won’t work on you.

Lesson 6: Be humble 95% of the time . For rest 5%, be an arrogant prick if you have to be because if you let down your ideas for once, then your ideas will start tumbling down after that one by one. I may be wrong if I say that your ideas are always right, your ideas are your theories and it is completely upto you to test it in the world. It is upto you on how you will set up the experiment.

Lesson 7: You need to learn to stand tall and alone. Just learn it.

Lesson 8: It is okay to fail but to just failing for the sake of failing is not good. Ever.

Lesson 9: Don’t turn small quarrels into big fights. Differences in ideas are allowed . Everyone sees the world differently.

Lesson 10: Don’t end anything and if it is the only thing required , try to end it at a good note. You don’t know when you had to open that book again.

Lesson 11: Smile. Try to smile. People takes your thinking face into frowning and everything goes into drain from that.

Lesson 12: Don’t overthink. What is bound to happen will happen and what has happened , has happened for the good.

Lesson 13: There is always a next time.

Lesson 14: Forgive that bitch. It’s been 3 years.

Lesson 15: Lose it. You are better without it .

Lesson 16: Don’t give up on your ideals. They will be there when you would need them.

Lesson 17: Get involved in the community. Enough of being a loner.

Lesson 18: If you have something to do with Creative industry, you will do it. Just focus on the engineering and maths stuff for now. And don’t you ever stop writing.

Lesson 19: Continuation of last mentioned lesson. Change the objective of your writing and just write on what you believe in.

Lesson 20: It’s harder to be kind than be clever.

Lesson 21: Don’t take things at face value.

Lesson 22: Dogs bark at what they don’t understand.

Lesson 23: Cherish Scars. They had made you what you are today.

Anyway Happy Birthday to me(in advance ofcourse). Hope I get to write for long as I can.

Privilege : Upbringing and Networking


I’m a hugely privileged individual. If you’re reading this, my bet is that you are too.

I was born into a family that could afford most of the material comforts in life. I had a very happy childhood, grew up in some nice neighbourhoods. I’ve lived a big chunk of my life in some great cities and worked and met with some brilliant people who’ve influenced me more than I could ever thank them for.

I’m male. I’m straight. I’m reasonably healthy and don’t suffer from any mental problems (if you don’t count insomnia and over-thinking as a disease). I have more friends than I can keep up with and more opportunities to succeed at anything I do than I would ever care to admit. I tick all the right boxes. Almost all of the privileges and advantages that society can bestow on someone have been bestowed on me.

Many more privileges, I’ve realised, than most people want to acknowledge.

I grew up in a family where I was encouraged to read lots and lots of books, to learn and to question(one of the perks of having parents who are teachers). Because of the environment I was brought up in, I grew up to be a confident man with a high sense of self-worth and with the firm belief that my destiny lay in my very own hands.

I was given a lot of freedom to try out different things, meet interesting people, showered with love and instilled with confidence. Later, through the course of life, I happened to luck out and meet people who filled me with the sense that pretty much anything in the world is possible. I’ve had experiences and become friends with people who have opened me up to new ideas and exposed me to possibilities that I once could only have dreamed of.

Growing up in a loving family, in a decent neighbourhood with access and exposure to most things pretty early on in life adds a huge layer of hidden advantage than the more tangible one wealth provides. These things are important, and they matter much much more than what people seem to be willing to see. The safety net that your connections and your family provides makes life so much easier. They open doors for you most others may not even know exist.

And yet somehow, especially in the tech industry that I was part of and will be part of again soon, we seem to deliberately forget how privileged we really are, and seem to believe that we’re exactly the opposite.

We convince each other that we’ve made huge successes of our lives through sheer talent and intelligence and anyone else who hasn’t, has failed because they don’t ‘get’ it as we do, they’re not as smart as us and are just plain lazy or bad at math.

I understand where some of it comes from. Intelligence does play a good part in this — but I suspect that part is vastly overrated. I know that I’m reasonably intelligent by any kind of standards anyone uses — but I’ve also realised that just intelligence hasn’t been the most important thing why most things in life have worked out for me so far.

More than anything else, it’s because the world is rigged in my favour. People like me are ‘meant’ to succeed. That’s just the way society is designed.

In hindsight, I entered the tech industry by sheer luck and coincidence. Initially I was fixated on Mechanical Engineering at first , then on Electrical Engineering and finally ended up in Computer Science and Engineering. Then I fell in love with English and games. What happened then was a lot of Game Design and Writing (as a freelancer). Then suddenly I switched to UX and right now I am studying Data Science leaving my job suddenly. Data Science wasn’t planned , VR was planned. In a short period of time, I had worked in more domains and with more tech stacks than most people in their entire career.Coincidence only even made possible because of my privilege.

I worked on some really cool products simply by being in the right place at the right time and because some people were kind enough to give me a chance. I dated some really nice girls and made some amazing friends because I ticked all the right boxes. I’ve had access to some great job opportunities and I get to hang around some brilliant people because they see me as a ‘peer’.

Much like network effects, our privilege is all-encompassing, ever-protective, self-perpetuating yet invisible. So much of the privilege is hidden into the system that you cannot even see it.

That, in the end then is the most important thing to know.

However intelligent and smart you consider yourself to be, you’ll never really know what life is like for other people. You won’t really know their pain and problems, how hard things are for them.

I’ll never really know what it is to be poor. Even if I do — I’ll be poor knowing that I have a family that will always support me, that I’ll never have to worry about a roof over my head or food to eat, and that I have the education, experience and connections that will invariably help me out.

Wealthy people will never know what it’s really like to be poor. Straight men will never know what it’s like to be gay. Men will never really know what it’s like to be a woman. Able-bodied people will never know what it feels like to be differently abled.

There are a few things that we’d do well to remember and remember often: that we are deeply privileged and very lucky.

Do we struggle? Yes, we do.

But perhaps a lot less than those who didn’t hit some kind of cosmic lottery that we did. And when we’re a wee bit more humble, we might just get a little bit better at imagining what it’s like to be someone else. What it is to truly be in someone else’s shoes.

Some of life’s greatest lessons come from comic books and Uncle Ben was right on the money when he said: with great power comes great responsibility.

Do we have power?


Maybe not as much as we’d like, but we still have it.

And we have to be better at this.

This is important.

There are people out there who are asking you to listen.

  • Listen to them. Try and understand them. More importantly, believe them. It is possible that you think that the stories you hear are implausible. What’s more likely is that you don’t realise your advantages and it hurts your fragile ego to be told that.
  • Use your abundant imagination and walk a mile in someone’s uncomfortable shoes. It’s not that hard to do.
  • Open up.
  • Confirm and confront your biases as best as you can.
  • Have the humility to recognise that while we can try to imagine what it is like for the others, we’ll never really know.
  • Remember your position of privilege.
  • Know how to not talk like you already have all the answers. To shut up and listen.
  • Most importantly, be kind to everyone that you encounter.


Now some songs on which I am tripping now a days.



Demonic Voices


So again this happened. I had decided and reminded myself again and again that I have to write twice a month and if in any case I can’t, at least one post should be out. But life took a bizarre turn (again) and I didn’t respected my decision of writing also. It is very common for me to not respect others whenever there is a clash of ideologies between us. I am not proud of it and also not ashamed of it. 

Life took a bizarre turn and all my plans went to the drain(again) and I have to make some new plans as per the new context. And my closed ones will get to know about it soon.

Someone rightly said, Life has its own way of finding its way.

So after stepping out of the cocoon and some experiences(good and bad), I have come to this understanding of life and how to live in it.

There is a trap that we fall into as to what possibilities in life could have emerged if I had done some things a certain way. But I think it’s always a wise approach to take life as it comes through and always optimising for the process that you follow rather than the goal you set out to be.

I have lots to write but don’t want to write them. 

Somethings are better left unsaid.

I had read this poem somewhere sometime back and I don’t remember the exact lines but I do remember the context of it and right now I am feeling the same, so I tried to reproduce it and let me know how is it.

Demonic Voices

The voices in my head just told me –
You are never coming back

We spent some good times together
You and me, me and you.

But the voices drove you crazy
And so you went far away.

Far away into the void of nothingness
Where your own imagination

Does not revolt and bite you in the ass.
Where the phantoms of your dead neurons

Don’t trouble you in the middle of night
While you are fighting the minions

Of the ancient gods of Valhalla.
Damn! Damn these voices.

I should have drowned them long back
In a small puddle of creative fungus

Which is now so cheaply available,
In large cans made of tin at the mart.

I should have gone away with you
And left this comfortable numbness behind.

No one would have wept
I assure you, except a few

They would have written an obituary,
Not for me, but for those wretched voices.

You were the only one, who knew me,
Who had peeled all the lairs and found me

Buried deep within myself. My own voice
Muffled by those who wanted to reign supreme.

You were the only one who heard me and my voices.
But you have now gone far away,

I remember everything about you
But will never see you awake.

Only in the land of dreams
Did you appear before me.

I remember your every curve
But I know you are not coming back

The voices drove you away
They wanted me for themselves.

They have won,
And we have lost.

Videos :

The Times They Are A-Changin

I don’t remember where and when I heard this song for the first time but the tune and the words got stuck in my mind. At that time, I didn’t knew it was Bob Dylan’s. Later on in college, I discovered it and since then I became a fan of him.

No, this post is not about that song. It is just the title. And the title needs to be clear. The song is used as a metaphor to depict the changes which are going on around me, which I am going to tell you in the coming paragraphs.

It’s been a while and by while I mean about last 3 months. Things were tough. Lots of things were happening at the office and I was at my wit’s end to comprehend what was happening and in that moment, lots of things were taking place simultaneously and it was just impossible for me to keep a tab on all of it. But those times hopefully have ended and I resigned from Cognizant few weeks back. There were two options in front of me then. I was in final stages of my company change and simultaneously was in the process of getting admitted in a post graduate program. It isn’t a two year or one year program but a 6 month program and it is a joint venture between a popular game engine company and a renowned MBA college. I applied there and after 2-3 rounds of interviews and tests, I was waiting for the results. And the results came back positive. And now there is 80% chance that I am going to join the program as I wanted a substantial background to enter a game/ design studio and the folks at home wanted me to go for further study. So this is a good option for me and my folks. Everyone will be happy. And who knows, after this, I may actually go for a full time program. But who knows, what lies on the other end of the road. This abrupt decision has one big implication : I was planning to get myself a normal and decent second hand 150cc bike this year and next year, a Triumph Street Triple. I am in love with this bike and this is the only bike which I hadn’t crashed till now. That’s a nice thing because I am very good at crashing things especially bikes.

Triumph Street Triple

I don’t have much to write this time. Because nothing exciting happened which can be put down to words. There were lots of running here and there, office work load was at it’s peak and at the same time I was interviewing at startups and product companies. I planned to change the direction of my career this January only and I realized apart from good bonuses and good times, I wasn’t going anywhere in my career. When you have are over 35, you may want to settle down a bit and take things lightly but when you have just started working and if you have some support, then you can take some risks and you must take it. Because if the chicken will not cross the road, the chicken will never know what lies on that side of the road. And the other side of the road for me is a startup or a product company. I wished to join a fast pace work environment where I believe I would be trusted to try out my ideas on User Experience. By the way, I suck at Visual Design because I just don’t get (understand) colors like my peers. And that thing could only happen at startups and product companies. For that thing to happen in a service company, you really need a lot of good lucks on your side. And on the other hand, it is very difficult to teach people that Visual Design is just a small part of UX Design. Okay, last line was little bit out of the context.

Visual Design is a part of User Experience Design.

UI is not same as UX.

The last two lines are also out of the context.

So, I spent 2.8 years at Cognizant and this being my first company wasn’t what I expected my first job to be but still first time is always invaluable in one’s life. Generally it happens that you are hired for one particular role and you end up doing that only but with me, things got crazy than usual and I ended up working on different technologies in different domains and with every new assignment there was a complete unknown terrain for me to learn, fail and succeed. Sometimes, it got very frustrating but sometimes those experiences came in handy to tackle various situations.

There were good times and bad times. There were lots of good people and horrible people. But the thing that worked out in my favor was whoever person I met and worked taught me a lots of lessons. So you can say that a lot of people mentored me on life. Some in a good way and some in a bad way.

Now a new journey is about to start and let’s see where life will take me. The details be on the Facebook and Twitter at the right time from the right place.

So, at last I will share few of my favorite Bob Dylan songs.

The way of life. 

Okay, this is definitely a new thing which is I am going to try out with this post. Thanks Siddhant for your advice to share how I see the world with my perspective.

Last week, I got some time off and I decided to catch up on my old friends and we made a plan for bacchanalian revelries. That’s how we bonded, we shared love for beers and abstract conversations. 

So what happened there? 

He asked had you lost some weight? I replied life sucks and is mess on all 7 days. Office and classes are in full throttleHe : What classes are you doing? Me : User Experience DesignI showed him some of my assignments and he was like ” Do you really have to attend a class to learn all these things?” Me : I know things but I don’t know it’s origination point and Companies do prefer Certificates and Degrees though they claim to be out looking for people with right attitude and passion. 

We both knew this is the harsh reality and we can’t ignore it and we aren’t in a position to do anything about it but hopefully one day, we will be and we will do the right thing. 

As we were meeting after 2 months, we had lots of things to talk about. Then we started talking about my last post and we discussed how people confuse their personal life and social life with each other. I wanted to write about a different thing here this time but this itself is a cool concept and I would like to talk about it and as it is a very short thing so it can’t be a full blown post. But it is very fundamental. 

People have two lives. Personal life and Professional life

Personal life is again divided into two :Private life and Social life

Professional life is again divided into two :Friends and colleagues. 

Some people are lucky and they have same people for all those 4 sectors but they are rare. I only know two such people.

But what about the majority?
We fail badly in balancing them out and end up being depressed. So balancing them is the key for a better life.
But how?

It’s all about peoples,  time management and getting your priorities straight. It’s all about setting boundaries between all those 4 sectors or you life will be messed up.

Just imagine these 2 situations :

  • Your private life is now your social life and all your private things are out in the public.
  • You told something to your colleagues instead of your friends and they do what they are best at : backstabbing.

Both of these 2 situations can lead to a lot of troubles. But there can be lots of permutations and combinations for scenarios among above mentioned 4 sectors on how you can fuck up your life if the right boundaries aren’t there.
It is a great topic to be discussed and maybe in the future, there might be a post about it too. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed.

Now back to the topic.

Some disclaimers :

  • It might be not true for all but this is what I have observed in me and my friends in the time we have shared with each other.
    For A+ colleges, I didn’t went there so I don’t know about them. But their life post college is just as same as ours.
  • And it is not about those also who spent their 4 years in library and in their rooms without even trying out different things.

Now again the real thing.
You might have guessed I am going to talk about the life of an engineer. If don’t, don’t worry, it’s not a bible or a doctrine on life.
Sometime back, I got mid life crisis (again) and decided to take a break to figure out things. And I decided I don’t want to be in engineering any more. I have been doing programming since 2006. Got my first PC back in 2005 and soon I was churning out codes in Basic, Html and Css. I was expert in commercializing my skills. So I started doing school projects of my classmates. To learn to type fast, I even typed out the entire book because I didn’t wanted to return the books back to the library. Then changed school and learnt Javascript, C, C++ and advanced Html. Same thing again, I was doing projects for my classmates and making money out of it and having fun figuring out pointers, memory heaps and interactive websites (with not so cool design but extremely optimized backends). Then engineering happened. C, C++, Java, Javascript (Basic + Advanced) , Bootstrap, php and Android. Then got fascinated by the games and started making simple games and did something (5-6) freelancing projects (can’t talk about it, NDA). So the most logical choice was to make games for my final year projects and made 4 games with Javascript frameworks. Initially thought of making it with Unity / Unreal but was lazy so ended up using Javascript frameworks.
And then cognizant happened, learnt Analytics and Performance Engineering. Never worked on Analytics myself but the time I spent at Siddhant’s ODC, I can most probably do that work with little help in the beginning. Did fairly good on Performance side with different protocols (Http/Https, Siebel, Truclient and learning more day by day).

Now let’s see my friends.

1. Ankit is a certified CCNA and he did that on his time. First in our group to go onsite. Way to go bro.

2. Siddhant was one of the best Electrical Engineering students of our college and now he is nailing it in the Analytics. If working for Chelsea isn’t cool, then I don’t know what is ?

3. Keshav was a gifted Product Manager. Despite having a great mind, he was lazy ( i think we all are lazy), he got high grades and churned out great quality codes at last minute and now he is a great Advanced Java developer working in a cool startup. Just waiting for his “khela” as he goes up in the chain and his “khelas” are one of a kind.

4. Deepak is a great singer and along with  singing he had enough enough time to kick asses of two departments : Computer Science and Electrical and Electronics Engineering.

And then there are people in my User Experience Class always cribbing about notes, not having enough times to complete assignments and so on. They all are great in different things like visual appreciation, sketching, thinking in terms of artistic value and then I am there with my engineering mind influxed with business acumen who weighs his ideas on numbers and engineering feasibllity. It’s a good thing that UX is a vast domain and can accommodate different peoples too. This made me noticed how engineering had made and changed me and my friends in a better way.
Other than few,  not all of them had dreams of becoming engineers.

Keshav had army dreams, Siddhant still dreams of joining Airforce and I dream of becoming a writer. But we all did fairly well in our engineering days and we still are and we will, hopefully in the future as engineering taught us something about life which I didn’t found and noticed in other people who went to other colleges (non engineering colleges). Let me make one thing clear I am not demeaning other colleges but there are somethings which you can only learn in an engineering college. Those things can be learned in other colleges but level of learning is very different. It is just like a player of Call of Duty and Crysis can beat the shit out of the players of Halo and Mass Effect without even blinking their eyes.

1.We are lazy.

2.We are sleep deprived.

3.We are flexible and have and make time(if required) for almost everything.

4.People believes engineers are right brained number and process churning people but man, you don’t even have the slightest idea about how creative and ideative, we can be in the times and situations which can make you wet your pants.

5.We rarely fail in the death race against time and man, we are at our 200% when the deadlines arrive. This happens only when we really care about it or else you can’t even make us to do it ,forget about starting it even.

6.We had studied systems and we had developed a keen sense of observing and can map out anything mathematically in an abstract sense to find a way through it.

7. Large numbers of courses had made us habituated of living in a world of questions and what if situational riddles. We are in love with 5 Ws ( What, When, Why, Which and Who). We loves puzzles and riddles and everything which requires some mental exercise.

8. We know how to use procrastination to our advantage.

9. Our 4 years of engineering was basically a full blown out crash course on how bad the things can go and how to survive it.
So I don’t know how will my career shift happen and will it even happen or not but one thing is clear, I will always be an engineer, no matter in which profession I will be.
Our parents had different reasons to send us to engineering but I will have a different reason and that will be that nothing can prepare you for the world other than 4 years of hostel life at engineering.
So here is to all the engineers (ofcourse not the dumb ones).

Videos for this post :

R-rated Rant !!!

Hi !

This is an R-rated post so enter at your own risk.

A one month gap between posts. Well this is what happens when you mess up with a cry baby sort of middle-aged executive. I am not going into that story, but will give you the context and insight which I learnt from it.

All jobs are good and very few people have the guts to reset their life once in a while. You may be in a job which you like but other’s don’t. It is completely fine and ok. One thing I learned from this “ koi bhi job karo, tumse kuch ukhadne wala toh hai nahin, par kam se kam aadmi ke paas apne choices ko defend karne ke liye toh kuch hona chahiye ! “. Now you can guess the context of that mess up, if you don’t, please go and watch pogo.

Life is pretty much a machine now. All days and time are scheduled and I don’t have any options to take some time off it. It’s just that I made a choice and I have to give it a try. If everything fails, I will do what other respected people in the society do, a MBA.

This writing thing took a backseat because no body cares whether I write or not. I am just writing in vacuum and for me only. I am both the writer and the reader. So that after five years from now, I have something from this time to relish upon and think about. Many people have stories, pictures and moments for that, I don’t have the luxury of all that. I have my posts. Maybe this will be my legacy, a non existential legacy with no value proposition. I am fine with it, actually I learned to accept it and deal with it. No qualms about it, things happen and it will happen whether we like it or not.

So why I decided to write now?
Because I thought getting crashed on MV Agusta F4 RR will help in blowing some of the steam but it didn’t help. I didn’t crash, thank God. On the other hand, I fell in love with it. There has to be something special in that bike that even a person like me who doesn’t know how to ride even a 100cc bike didn’t broke any bones even when he touched 200kmph in Bangalore traffic at peak hour.

So I decided to rant about it. And when you own a domain, you can use it for that, ain’t you?

I am now an sort of option for some. But hey wait, I was always an option for people. That’s not a surprise when I look back at life. I was always an option, not even the primary one in that too.

I don’t have a social life because optional people don’t have it. You call your options when you either need them for something or you don’t have anyone left to socialize with. So optional people don’t have enough avenues or chances for that.

Why I have a non-existent social life? Or why I don’t have friends?

  • I am arrogant as fuck and I will call an asshole, an asshole no matter what and if required on their face too without any second thoughts. That’s how I was raised. And I am proud of it.
  • I am not a people pleasurer person. To be a people person, you need to have your opinions validated by other people so that you can have it. Just imagine, you can have opinion after getting it validated by others.
  • I am not great at anything. I am just an average guy in all spheres of life. And despite being average at everything yourself, you don’t usually hang around with other average joes. People need someone with whom they can feel special and I am not that special creature who can make you feel special.
  • Looks matter. Never seen any good looking person with no friends and zero social life.
  • Doesn’t have much skills and intelligence to do wonders for anyone. So there goes all the things which could have happened in office.
  • I don’t play by other opinion and most of the time, I don’t need much of anyone’s approval to do something which I want to do. So question of bonding with others goes also.
  • I don’t do anything just to be with anyone which I don’t want to do.
  • Most people just gulp down any facts that may be lead to a confrontation but I don’t. I always like to know why you have to lie in the first place. I am fine with liars. Lie but just don’t get caught , will you ?
  • I don’t expect much from people because nobody is what they project themselves onto others.
  • People bond with other people with whom they share certain ideologies and plans and motives and all that comes from the hobbies. I don’t have any so there is nothing with me on which someone can bond with me.

If I continue to write, the list will go on and on. But I am the reader so I know most of things.

And this post is not up for any kind of discussion and if you still want to do, you know where to put those things, ain’t you?

So what now?

Nothing special.

Done with you guys!

And yes, FUCK YOU!