So again this happened. I had decided and reminded myself again and again that I have to write twice a month and if in any case I can’t, at least one post should be out. But life took a bizarre turn (again) and I didn’t respected my decision of writing also. It is very common for me to not respect others whenever there is a clash of ideologies between us. I am not proud of it and also not ashamed of it.
Life took a bizarre turn and all my plans went to the drain(again) and I have to make some new plans as per the new context. And my closed ones will get to know about it soon.
Someone rightly said, Life has its own way of finding its way.
So after stepping out of the cocoon and some experiences(good and bad), I have come to this understanding of life and how to live in it.
There is a trap that we fall into as to what possibilities in life could have emerged if I had done some things a certain way. But I think it’s always a wise approach to take life as it comes through and always optimising for the process that you follow rather than the goal you set out to be.
I have lots to write but don’t want to write them.
Somethings are better left unsaid.
I had read this poem somewhere sometime back and I don’t remember the exact lines but I do remember the context of it and right now I am feeling the same, so I tried to reproduce it and let me know how is it.
The voices in my head just told me –
You are never coming back
We spent some good times together
You and me, me and you.
But the voices drove you crazy
And so you went far away.
Far away into the void of nothingness
Where your own imagination
Does not revolt and bite you in the ass.
Where the phantoms of your dead neurons
Don’t trouble you in the middle of night
While you are fighting the minions
Of the ancient gods of Valhalla.
Damn! Damn these voices.
I should have drowned them long back
In a small puddle of creative fungus
Which is now so cheaply available,
In large cans made of tin at the mart.
I should have gone away with you
And left this comfortable numbness behind.
No one would have wept
I assure you, except a few
They would have written an obituary,
Not for me, but for those wretched voices.
You were the only one, who knew me,
Who had peeled all the lairs and found me
Buried deep within myself. My own voice
Muffled by those who wanted to reign supreme.
You were the only one who heard me and my voices.
But you have now gone far away,
I remember everything about you
But will never see you awake.
Only in the land of dreams
Did you appear before me.
I remember your every curve
But I know you are not coming back
The voices drove you away
They wanted me for themselves.
They have won,
And we have lost.