TINDER : A tryst about LEGACY

This came soon , right?

Just within 1 week of the last post, a new one is here. I even surprised myself this time. This wasn’t planned, it is circumstantial.

So as you guys already know that I left my job and I am studying Machine Learning in Mumbai. 6 months Post Graduate Specialization Program. And in a 6 months program, you don’t get weekends and holidays (even on National Holidays,if any class is planned). Actual plan was of Virtual Reality as it seemed the next logical step for a UX Designer but fate had different plans and I ended up in the Machine Learning. For the first time, having an engineering degree is useful as Computer Science Graduates usually have these subjects on face value basis(not in depth , just the introduction). So after 9  days of continuous class , I was getting frustated as the last post was already posted and I didn’t had anything to distract me from studies. So I installed Tinder and ended up doing lots of “right swipe” . Sometimes I believe in my luck and do Tinder as there is a very nice study about Tinder . Have a look on it , here.

Tinder Experiments

It states that “the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.” And I am definitely not in the top 20% of the men. If given some thought I might be in bottom 20%.

But luck had helped me a lot in Bengaluru, so I tried it here and I got few “right swipes” in return and we ended up chatting and it resulted in few F2F meeting. Except for the 1, rest was typical scene : Girl meet Boy, they talk about their lives and hobbies while mentally scrutinizing each other and leave for the best of each other. But this one girl was different and we met and ended up chatting for more than 3 hours. Guess psychology students have more understandings of the worlds among us. She had a unique perspective on every thing and the best thing , she is comfortable with the fact that the world is full of idiots. She is sort of modern day Athena. I right-swiped her because of a lot of similarity to an old friend AS. Little did I knew that mentally she would be at the different level than most of us. I had never seen a girl so cute yet fierce in specs.  During our chats , in the “hi – hello” phase I shared my blog with her and she figured out most of my writing is about my issues with my legacy and we discussed about what legacy is and why I am obsessed with it and she even sent a short but deep post about it to me. Have a look on it.

It’s ok to not have a legacy.

I don’t know whether these opposing ideas are true or not but one thing is for sure , “legacy thing” is always a “+1” with me ,everywhere. And if I stopped carrying it with me, then I can be little more present in the moment. It will not be easy at first but with time , I can get rid of this emotional baggage.

Let’s see what lies ahead.

In other news, I liked a movie and that movie bombed at the Box Office. I liked the first part  but bollywood being bollywood needed to add typical bollywood masala in it.

Videos :

 

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Privilege : Upbringing and Networking

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I’m a hugely privileged individual. If you’re reading this, my bet is that you are too.

I was born into a family that could afford most of the material comforts in life. I had a very happy childhood, grew up in some nice neighbourhoods. I’ve lived a big chunk of my life in some great cities and worked and met with some brilliant people who’ve influenced me more than I could ever thank them for.

I’m male. I’m straight. I’m reasonably healthy and don’t suffer from any mental problems (if you don’t count insomnia and over-thinking as a disease). I have more friends than I can keep up with and more opportunities to succeed at anything I do than I would ever care to admit. I tick all the right boxes. Almost all of the privileges and advantages that society can bestow on someone have been bestowed on me.

Many more privileges, I’ve realised, than most people want to acknowledge.

I grew up in a family where I was encouraged to read lots and lots of books, to learn and to question(one of the perks of having parents who are teachers). Because of the environment I was brought up in, I grew up to be a confident man with a high sense of self-worth and with the firm belief that my destiny lay in my very own hands.

I was given a lot of freedom to try out different things, meet interesting people, showered with love and instilled with confidence. Later, through the course of life, I happened to luck out and meet people who filled me with the sense that pretty much anything in the world is possible. I’ve had experiences and become friends with people who have opened me up to new ideas and exposed me to possibilities that I once could only have dreamed of.

Growing up in a loving family, in a decent neighbourhood with access and exposure to most things pretty early on in life adds a huge layer of hidden advantage than the more tangible one wealth provides. These things are important, and they matter much much more than what people seem to be willing to see. The safety net that your connections and your family provides makes life so much easier. They open doors for you most others may not even know exist.

And yet somehow, especially in the tech industry that I was part of and will be part of again soon, we seem to deliberately forget how privileged we really are, and seem to believe that we’re exactly the opposite.

We convince each other that we’ve made huge successes of our lives through sheer talent and intelligence and anyone else who hasn’t, has failed because they don’t ‘get’ it as we do, they’re not as smart as us and are just plain lazy or bad at math.

I understand where some of it comes from. Intelligence does play a good part in this — but I suspect that part is vastly overrated. I know that I’m reasonably intelligent by any kind of standards anyone uses — but I’ve also realised that just intelligence hasn’t been the most important thing why most things in life have worked out for me so far.

More than anything else, it’s because the world is rigged in my favour. People like me are ‘meant’ to succeed. That’s just the way society is designed.

In hindsight, I entered the tech industry by sheer luck and coincidence. Initially I was fixated on Mechanical Engineering at first , then on Electrical Engineering and finally ended up in Computer Science and Engineering. Then I fell in love with English and games. What happened then was a lot of Game Design and Writing (as a freelancer). Then suddenly I switched to UX and right now I am studying Data Science leaving my job suddenly. Data Science wasn’t planned , VR was planned. In a short period of time, I had worked in more domains and with more tech stacks than most people in their entire career.Coincidence only even made possible because of my privilege.

I worked on some really cool products simply by being in the right place at the right time and because some people were kind enough to give me a chance. I dated some really nice girls and made some amazing friends because I ticked all the right boxes. I’ve had access to some great job opportunities and I get to hang around some brilliant people because they see me as a ‘peer’.

Much like network effects, our privilege is all-encompassing, ever-protective, self-perpetuating yet invisible. So much of the privilege is hidden into the system that you cannot even see it.

That, in the end then is the most important thing to know.

However intelligent and smart you consider yourself to be, you’ll never really know what life is like for other people. You won’t really know their pain and problems, how hard things are for them.

I’ll never really know what it is to be poor. Even if I do — I’ll be poor knowing that I have a family that will always support me, that I’ll never have to worry about a roof over my head or food to eat, and that I have the education, experience and connections that will invariably help me out.

Wealthy people will never know what it’s really like to be poor. Straight men will never know what it’s like to be gay. Men will never really know what it’s like to be a woman. Able-bodied people will never know what it feels like to be differently abled.

There are a few things that we’d do well to remember and remember often: that we are deeply privileged and very lucky.

Do we struggle? Yes, we do.

But perhaps a lot less than those who didn’t hit some kind of cosmic lottery that we did. And when we’re a wee bit more humble, we might just get a little bit better at imagining what it’s like to be someone else. What it is to truly be in someone else’s shoes.

Some of life’s greatest lessons come from comic books and Uncle Ben was right on the money when he said: with great power comes great responsibility.

Do we have power?

Yes.

Maybe not as much as we’d like, but we still have it.

And we have to be better at this.

This is important.

There are people out there who are asking you to listen.

  • Listen to them. Try and understand them. More importantly, believe them. It is possible that you think that the stories you hear are implausible. What’s more likely is that you don’t realise your advantages and it hurts your fragile ego to be told that.
  • Use your abundant imagination and walk a mile in someone’s uncomfortable shoes. It’s not that hard to do.
  • Open up.
  • Confirm and confront your biases as best as you can.
  • Have the humility to recognise that while we can try to imagine what it is like for the others, we’ll never really know.
  • Remember your position of privilege.
  • Know how to not talk like you already have all the answers. To shut up and listen.
  • Most importantly, be kind to everyone that you encounter.

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Now some songs on which I am tripping now a days.

 

 

Demonic Voices

Ah!!! 

So again this happened. I had decided and reminded myself again and again that I have to write twice a month and if in any case I can’t, at least one post should be out. But life took a bizarre turn (again) and I didn’t respected my decision of writing also. It is very common for me to not respect others whenever there is a clash of ideologies between us. I am not proud of it and also not ashamed of it. 

Life took a bizarre turn and all my plans went to the drain(again) and I have to make some new plans as per the new context. And my closed ones will get to know about it soon.


Someone rightly said, Life has its own way of finding its way.


So after stepping out of the cocoon and some experiences(good and bad), I have come to this understanding of life and how to live in it.


There is a trap that we fall into as to what possibilities in life could have emerged if I had done some things a certain way. But I think it’s always a wise approach to take life as it comes through and always optimising for the process that you follow rather than the goal you set out to be.


I have lots to write but don’t want to write them. 


Somethings are better left unsaid.


I had read this poem somewhere sometime back and I don’t remember the exact lines but I do remember the context of it and right now I am feeling the same, so I tried to reproduce it and let me know how is it.



Demonic Voices


The voices in my head just told me –
You are never coming back

We spent some good times together
You and me, me and you.

But the voices drove you crazy
And so you went far away.

Far away into the void of nothingness
Where your own imagination

Does not revolt and bite you in the ass.
Where the phantoms of your dead neurons

Don’t trouble you in the middle of night
While you are fighting the minions

Of the ancient gods of Valhalla.
Damn! Damn these voices.

I should have drowned them long back
In a small puddle of creative fungus

Which is now so cheaply available,
In large cans made of tin at the mart.

I should have gone away with you
And left this comfortable numbness behind.

No one would have wept
I assure you, except a few

They would have written an obituary,
Not for me, but for those wretched voices.

You were the only one, who knew me,
Who had peeled all the lairs and found me

Buried deep within myself. My own voice
Muffled by those who wanted to reign supreme.

You were the only one who heard me and my voices.
But you have now gone far away,

I remember everything about you
But will never see you awake.

Only in the land of dreams
Did you appear before me.

I remember your every curve
But I know you are not coming back

The voices drove you away
They wanted me for themselves.

They have won,
And we have lost.


Videos :


Linear Progression yet Natural

Happy New Year guys…

 

Hope that this year brings you : new people, new opportunities and new experiences.

You may know how all these things are interconnected but I would like to tell again, bear me on that, please.

Most of the time (doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert) we live in a closed shell of ourselves. We have a created a shell based upon our comfort and bias around us. This shell keeps us safe from the harsh realities of the world. For sometime, it is good for us. Let’s take an example : When you are in middle school and high school , our parents creates it for us to protect us because they know to learn anything completely, you need to be ready. And your parents know when you are ready to take the dive because they have seen the world and they guess the right age for you to go out and take the dive. It is going to be waste : if you learn it early before time or you learn it late after time because you need to have some maturity to learn to walk on the grey side of the complexities of life.  You don’t want your class 1 going child to ask you about sex. If you are an over enthusiastic parent, you may feel your child is on fast track and you are very  proud of his inquisitiveness, but boy, you are going to get a great wall hit on your head in the next 5 years. Get ready for that. Inquisitiveness is good but not before right time.

Okay, so how all the above mentioned three things are connected. They are actually not connected, but they are the natural linear progression of how things work.

 

New people :

When you meet new people, you actually let your comfort and bias wall down to be open to new events. We don’t always have best thoughts so we need new people. They brings new perspectives to our viewpoint of seeing things. We don’t realise it but we are actually the sum total average of our 5 close peoples who influences you. If you want to learn how to meet new people, I can give you the contact details of one friend , he is the best at it.

 

New opportunities :

If you don’t leave your shell, and not meet new peoples, then how are you going to see what is happening around you? Please clarify me on this. Okay, you can tell me you read blogs(don’t stop reading mine or I will find you and beat you to pulp ) and news but bro they aren’t everything. You may know what is happening at the global level but you are operating at the local level and only people around you can tell that because they are there. Bill Gates can only tell you where the trend is going but only at the local level, you can learn how it is going.

Demonization is still a lot of hoo-hallah for last 2 months and will continue to be for the next 2-3 months , but in reality it is a complete failure and Modi is just acting like a child who always wants to be in attention and limelight. Just take the example of his 31st December 2016 address to the people. He could have done it in the morning and whatever he had told in it, that content is more suitable for the budget sessions, not for a new year addressal. He just wanted to be on our minds at the New Year eve. Maybe, we were all wrong about him and he is just a Politician, only keeping tabs on his vote bank. It may be, it may be not. Who knows???

 

Okay, I got deviated. My bad.

When you meet new people, you talk, you converse and you both get to know about each other and there will be somethings in that, which will open up new opportunities for you. And it is completely up to you if you want to take it up or not, no body can force it as one ( I don’t know who) said, ” a man has to go his own way”.

 

New experiences :

Okay, now you have met new people, found out an opportunity to pursue and you start to go down that path, then welcome experience. Every path we go down has only extreme solutions : it will go extremely good or it will go very bad. In either case, you are going to have an experience and a story to tell others. Though not many people shares their stories. Misers. But we doesn’t try to think that our past experiences decides how are we going to react to the similar events in the future. Some people are smart and they start to put up shields in case again the events go in downward spiral but some people are like, who just again take a dive without any caution of what could and would happen. But this approach has a hidden advantage and that is we know the risks but our focus is on to reap rewards. This is quite ambiguous and in depth explanation requires case studies (which is not a blog post meant for).

 

So, here is to a new chapter in our life’s book.

New People, New Opportunities, New Experiences.

 

Inkaar

Everytime once in a while , you come across a movie which you end up watching more than 7 times in a week. Many times , the situation is you are in love with a character . This happens with DC IPs , Marvel IPs and some movie series . But when this happens with a simple experimental movie ,with no major starcast and marketing , it becomes an experience which screams to told and shared.

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Inkaar came out in 2013. I didn’t saw it that time with Preetam because I had different taste at that time and life was hellfire then. Now when I look back at those times, I feel I was stupid then. But who knows, maybe I am stupid now and was wise then. Leave it , once what is done, is done; lamenting isn’t going change anything, I assume.

 

Inkaar was a movie with Rashomon story telling technique. It has multiple interpretations . This is my version. You may have different. And different versions breeds discussions which can lead to a wonderful evening of talks. Siddhant, are you listening?

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Sudhir Mishra is a gifted film maker with an uncanny knack of making movies which can force you to think about the subject. His movie Inkaar is a treatise on corporate life, office politics , love and Sexual Harassment. While preparing for this movie , he was, I assume, in awe of the series Mad Men. He ended up writing a fan fiction account of Don Draper and Peggy Olsen.

 

Mishra and his team had done a brilliant work in setting up the characters.

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He chose Arjun Rampal to play Rahul Verma , proverbial Don Draper. Smart , Charismatic and Arrogant, a small town boy who is not shy to let this achievements speaks for him. He is shown to worked on his attitude to shake off his small town complex and compete with the bullies from the metros. He is feared by the Upper Management as he is the brand of the agency KK & Doyle and loved by the subordinates for his support and grooming of talent by putting them at the right place at right time.

 

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Then there is Chitrangada Singh as Maya Luthra, proverbial Peggy Olsen. Small town girl, ambitious , talented and bit-too-emotional. Don’t take quoted emotional in negative sense , it is an asset when your day job is to sell things to masses.
This is a story revolving around them which can be summarized as : “At a leading ad agency, the battle for the top job between Rahul Verma, the advertising CEO, and Maya Luthra, his ambitious protégée, takes an ugly turn when Maya files a sexual harassment complaint against Rahul.”

 
But is it that simple ?
No , it isn’t. It is a movie about the dark side of corporate culture. The corporate world is more or less like a black hole which sucks an individual into it with such force that an escape becomes impossible. As the individual is sucked deeper it becomes more and more difficult for him/her to lead a normal life. The relationships suffer as one fails to attend to the needs of the loved ones. And by the time one realizes that he/she is surrounded by more strangers than friends ,it’s too late.

 

The greatest challenge is to draw the line between flirtation and harassment. Once that is taken care of the next challenge is to fathom the reality that, contrary to the popular belief, both the sexes are equally prone to sexual harassment.
And that’s where the subjective element comes into the picture.

Who’s the victim? Who’s the accused?

The movie starts with the proceedings of the committee formed by the agency to sort out the matter internally without drawing much outside attention. As the hearing progresses, it becomes more and more difficult to discern who is speaking the truth and who is not. While the versions of Maya and Rahul only differ slightly there is enough deviation to perplex the most astute of minds.
The manner of proceedings, though completely alien to Indian cinema, is strikingly similar to Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa’s groundbreaking masterpiece Rashomon (1950), which is widely regarded as a cinematic treatise on the subjectivity of truth. In Rashomon, Kurosawa had highlighted, for the first time in cinema, that discrepancies can actually exist among the different versions of the same event (as narrated from the perspective of the different parties). These discrepancies testify the subjective nature of truth. This is sometimes also referred to as “The Rashomon Effect”. In Inkaar, Misha succeeds at several fronts (mostly from the cinematic point of view), but he fails miserably in one regard. Inkaar fails to remain true to its core theme, that of sexual exploitation. The typical Indian film audiences are not accustomed to shocks and surprises. They want to be spoon-fed and are easily agitated by a filmmaker who tries to test them in any manner. Maybe this is the reason why movie is not mainstream among audiences.

I am not going to write down the entire story here. Get up and see it . You will not regret it. If you regret it, tell me as that will be the time to talk about the future of our friendship or any relationship we have.

The lead actors get good support from the supporting cast.

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Deepti Naval cameo is a major highlight of the movie.

 

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Vipin Sharma’s Guptaji is a person who can be found around us very easily.

 

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Kaizaad Kotwal shines as KK, a spineless named partner of the agency who is shit scared of the current happenings in the agency.

Inkaar is a movie for people who watches movies to broaden their perspectives.

Video Section:

 

Potpourri! 

Life is a bliss since last post (sort of).

Office Blues

Not in a fixed project, so have the power of going to and coming from office at anytime I desire but with one condition : Fortnightly average should be 9 hours. Cognizant was a good place to be at when I joined back in 2014 but with recent hiring of Infosys’ guys, it is becoming a Nazi Concentration camp,  month by month. That’s not good. You can’t just change your culture for the sake of some good for nothing MBA’s hired from a company which I have hated since childhood. I kinda liked Wipro but Infosys was a big no – no.

Kindle Unlimited

Amazon’s and Flipkart’s annual sale ended few weeks back.  Didn’t found anything worth buying. But got a very good deal for Kindle Unlimited. 50% discount for all the Kindle Unlimited subscription plan.The Kindle Unlimited library has 10 millions + books. Thanks to the deal, I ended up reading a lots of books in just 2 weeks. Average would be 1 book in a day. That’s cool even for my reading speed standard. 

Kindle Unlimited is a nice online library sort of service. You can go to the Kindle  Unlimited catalog to select the books and at max, you can take only 10 books to read and after that return one to get a new one. Just hoping Amazon to give me a nice deal when my subscription ends next October.

Here is the complete list of all the books which I consumed so far.


Observations:

  1. India has surely come a long way since Chetan Bhagat and Durjoy Dutta days. Ravi Subramanian and Vish Dhamija are leading the pack. Their writing is a goal for the all the aspiring writers. Ravi Subramanian and Vish Dhamija are the only contenders to be the India’s John Grisham. Very detailed and absolutely no plot loopholes.
  2. Self-help books are shit books. They aren’t useful. Main thing is to listen to your heart but take a step forward by consulting your brain only. Your heart can take you to the drainage of your locality.
  3. Trying out new authors can be a tricky situation as most of the books are bound to be shit like the Sachin Garg’s, ” Come on Inner Peace! I don’t have all day!”. The worst book I have read in my life so far. I thought maybe this book is bad but when I inquired some of my friends about Sachin Garg’s other books, reviews were quite similar to mine observation. His books are shit. He just writes to capitalize on the recent trends. Above mentioned book is a capitalisation on Breaking Bad. Inshort, Sachin Garg is worse than Chetan Bhagat. Rest you can figure out if you have ever read books apart from courseworks.

 

Why do I write? 

Somewhere down the line I realized that complete strangers were frequenting my blog and sharing their views with me. I started receiving mails from people who sometimes agreed with me whole heartedly and sometimes were at loggerheads with me. This was fun. Blogging had suddenly become a means for intellectualization, for debate, for arguments and for agreements. But somewhere around this point things started going wrong. Vanity they say is the Devil’s favorite sin. I started getting a kick out of the fact that my blog was receiving around 100 unique hits daily. Checking the site meter and net traffic records became an obsession. The simple reason for which I had started my blog was lost. I just wanted to share my life, my views and my thoughts with my friends. But I will not give up blogging. My blog, since it is essentially about my life, might seem like an exercise in ego-feeding to some but to me it is the only way of communication with my friends. So I will continue blogging in the same way I have been for the last 16 months. No site-meter, no net traffic records, just blogging. I have enjoyed the discussions that resulted from my blog and I hope my writing inspires further discussions. In all of these, I noticed a strange thing. Strangers are more interested in talking about my posts than my known people. They just ignore whatever I write. I don’t know the reason.

The reasons may be on these possible observations:

  • they are too primitive to understand these things.
  •  they actually have a life which I know they don’t. Suckers.
  • Some are too busy in their ego-feeding and false superior thinking that they just can’t appreciate some original thinking. (Jealous Assholes)

 

Better to ignore them and carry on blogging, amigo. May the force be with you!

One thing good has happened in all these blogging years and I am quite happy about it.Thoughts are getting converted to words more easily these days and there is a new clarity in my thinking.

 

 

New Dream and Disastrous Food

Today after 4/5 months, I left the office early around 6pm as there was not much left to do. So I left with a hope that I will have something good for the dinner after my disastrous lunch at ESC, Manyata Tech Park.

I spotted a short scrawny 22-something girl was standing with a tall (very) stunning enchantress. Contempt, hatred and loathing for my very being were tightly packed together in an unwavering look from the short one. I have drawn some sharp reactions from people in the past but this was the oddest of them all. And from a stranger who I could have squashed under my foot? Never!

Now I should have been thinking about an appropriate expression for my face. But somewhere the Tall Girl Alert had been activated in my brain and all thought processes had ceased. Instead of looking at the little one I was staring at the tall one. After a few seconds I realised I wasn’t blinking and I ordered this (I about to order something else but I am incorrigible about Tall Girls, I guess).

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There is this nice little shopping complex at Nagavara where I go quite often. Avishek needed to check out Samsung J7 as he finally decided to upgrade his old and tender Samsung Galaxy Duos after 4 long years. We went and enquired about it and before leaving we decided to have an Ice cream but I am not fond of the Ice cream shop there so I decided to have McDonald’s McFlurry.

Today as I was going about savoring every last piece of my order a big business family walked in. There was an old lady who was probably the head of the house hold and accompanying her were her three daughters-in-law with a whole bunch of toddlers. The old lady was a domineering woman with complete control over the workings of her family. Her sons kept calling her on the four mobiles that each of them were carrying and asking her permission to do this and that.She sat like an old powerful queen on the chair with her family members sitting all around her trying to please her and elevate themselves in her eyes. I was impressed by this matriarchal display of authority in what seemed to be an otherwise traditional Indian family. 

But then my eyes fell on the three daughters-in-law. All of them were wearing sarees and their heads were covered with the pallu as a mark of respect towards their mother-in-law (or maybe they had no other choice but to keep their heads covered). None of them looked a day over twenty-five and in fact one of them looked even younger than me. She had a baby in her arms and every now and then she would look at it and give a small, almost invisible and inaudible sigh. All of them had a smile on their face, a very synthetic smile, a very artificial smile which was not in keeping with the great food I was having. 

I stopped eating to take a better look at them, to peer through their eyes and see the truth behind those fake smiles. All I could see were broken dreams and crushed ambitions. All around them were young people talking excitedly about their future plans, their careers, the new film in the theatres; and sitting there with their heads covered and listening intently yet uninterestedly to an old queen were these three young women. Marriage and motherhood slapped on their faces. 

One could argue that they were happily married and what woman wouldn’t want to be a mother. May be the only ambition they ever nurtured was to become a house wife and raise sons who would grow up and marry more women like them or raise daughters who would be married off into other such families. May be they all enjoyed covering their heads with the pallu and listening to the words of wisdom of the old queen. But why did I hear the faint cry of a dream, a dream which knew its end was inevitable. She looked at the baby and took another sigh.

May be a new dream was born.

Now, videos time.

Enclosed by the walls

We don’t like to think. People will say they think about things all the time.

But do they do that?
No. They don’t. They are most probably lying to themselves and we all love to lie to ourselves because no one is going to see through the lie and as a liar you don’t want to see through it anyway.

The fault is not theirs completely. The main problem lies in our upbringing. Right from the moment we arrive on the earth, we are taught thinking is the way we feel about things and when we include feelings and thinking together we are on our way to be doomed and that’s the reality of the present world. The reason being we are not living in world of feelings rather we are living in a world of reasoning.

So what is thinking, by the way?
Many people have different definitions of it. I have mine.Thinking is basically looking at things in a logical way and understanding them with reasons. And that includes these:
1. What is this ?
2. Why is this ?
3. Where to put this ?
4. How to put this ?
5. When to put this?

Now let’s take an example to understand those 5 points. Let’s take the context of blogging.

1. What is this?
It is a blog to document my thoughts and understanding of the world.

2. Why is this?
For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with creating a worthwhile and long-lasting legacy – something that will survive me, perhaps for generations to come. Legacy can be in the form of material wealth and riches. It can be in the form of ideas. An artist’s legacy is his work; a gangster’s his street-cred and the urban legends that surround his name. As an author I hope my books are read for years to come if I finally ever write it but it is definitely on the cards. And Siddhant know why I do this? I am doing it for the next generation so that they can see and understand how I perceived the world and they are going to be super opinionated like me if I ever walk down to the aisle (hi mom) and to have an opinion they are going to need to have lots of perspectives known to them.

3. Where to put this?
I had a range of options but I chose a WordPress premium account because I am lazy and quite famous for starting things and never take it to completion and with a premium account, I am binding myself to this duty as my employer doesn’t pay me much but it is still enough to keep up my blog and booze and food.

4. How to put this?
Everyone has a way of learning things and my way is blunt and straightforward Q and A session. So if I am not writing about my past experiences, then my blog posts are usually in Q and A.

5. When to put this?
As soon as the idea pops up in my mind. Then I just need 4-5 hours to complete the entire writing and drafting process. But if the idea went out from attention even for a single day, then they are going to be in the drafts folder only. There are 5 posts and I think I am going to delete them because they didn’t make any sense to me as their time has passed.

So ask these 5 questions to understand anything and everything and the more deep your answer, the more clear you will be while performing that activity.

I always loved maths because there is no space for feelings there and whenever I tried to do anything which involved feelings, I messed up those things. That’s why I suck in all kinds of relationships as they wants me to be emotional all the times.

Right now, for a good span of time, I am meeting a lots of peoples and one thing is becoming clear to me is that we don’t like to think about things. We just want to assume about things and most importantly, we even don’t want to make our own assumptions, we just want to accept other’s assumptions and we absolutely love to brand those assumptions as our own.

We are now living in a world full of opportunities. The world of our parents are ending and with that all the options that world brought too. We can do almost anything. Our parents lived in a times when their options are limited and they had to make the best of it and our parents made the best of it because they liked to think about things. But now we have endless opportunities and we don’t think so we are just stuck in bad relationships, bad jobs, bad habits and many more.

How to see what is the difference between who thinks and who doesn’t think?

We all spend most of our leisure time on social media and we like to like, comment and share other’s brand new achievements, adventures and experiences. And we like to wonder how did they do it? They thought about it and tried to figure out the possibilities surrounding them and done that. So in that way, friends, thinking gives you an advantage to not have a boring life.

And while I am exploring new fields and learning new skills constantly – formal higher education is still not part of my life. I still have dreams of giving exams (I was a weird child – I was happiest sitting in an examination hall) and running through the corridors of a school or college. And while I have left higher education (a master’s and a PhD, perhaps) for my 30s, my quest to educate myself is at its peak. There has never been a better time to be a thinker than now.

Wait. From where does education comes into this?

Dude you can’t just start thinking just because you want to think. You need fodder to grow crops on a farm and that is where education comes into play. I am a supporter of learning (both formal and informal).

I believe that thinking is an acquired skill that can be developed over time. In the nature vs nurture debate – this skill definitely falls on the side of nurture. One also learns it by imitation – by observing others – parents, teachers, friends, mentors, colleagues, etc.

Its impact on personal and professional growth is huge if one acquires this skill at an early stage. Also, it is definitely something one can pick up later in life – albeit with a lot of hard work.

Are we doomed?
Most probably, Yes if we don’t start to think about things now.

Okay now is the time for some random music videos on which I am hooked on.

Aargh!!! Not again.

I am extremely mad at myself. I am so mad, that I feel crazier than usual. At times like these I wish there was someone who could whack me and straighten that convoluted head of mine.

This is a random post as I have nothing to write about. But there are lots of bits and pieces of thoughts in my mind from last couple of days and they are troubling me, so I decided to write them down. You may ask why can’t I write it in private? Writing in private takes the fun out of it and I have a pretty boring life so I like to have fun whenever I get chance. There is not a clear direction of what I am going to write about but a perfect example of how I like to think about things. Starting with puzzling Q and A and then deciding which one is better before settling down to form an opinion about it. I have opinions and you have to be ready with logic and explanations if you ever want to challenge my opinions.

Brace yourselves, Puzzled thoughts are coming!

1). I simply don’t know when to give up. I should learn to take a hint. Never been given a cold shoulder before (it’s happened once earlier, but that was just pathetic). The weird thing is, I don’t feel hurt – I just feel odd. Pride and arrogance tell me that there is no possible reason for anyone to ignore me. Or is there?
This is my punishment for being so easily amused and cheerful all the time – a good solid dose of depression. It’s definitely not helping the cause of writing. Neither is continuously thinking about the gorgeous girl who I always meet (accidentally) in the office elevator.

2). Every now and then I reach the conclusion that the Universe has nothing left to teach me. Or that whatever else is left, is either useless or redundant. I wallow in the splendid muck of my ignorance. And then the Universe drags me out, gives me a cold shower, cleans me from head to toe and proceeds to give me a whipping which would make any Los Angles dominatrix proud. I hear you loud and clear Universe.

You.
Are.
My.
Daddy.

3). Depression and excitement can go together – I am a stinking potpourri of emotions these days. I make myself sick.

4). I figured out something when I was twelve years old. I was a bright, precocious brat with a simple view of the world. I figured that elders (anyone who was older than me) had nothing to offer me as far as knowledge was concerned. Considering I was so young, this notion might look childish, but today I can add the weight of a decade of experience behind it. In my humble opinion elders have not been responsible for a single bit of knowledge in my head – either it was already there and I just needed to discover it or else I was smart enough to figure things out on my own. Elders may have played the role of a guide in some of the discoveries but given enough time I would have stumbled upon those hidden springs of knowledge on my own. A very egomaniacal thought but I stand by it.
I come to the next more crucial point. My mental growth is now almost stagnant; it has remained so for the last couple of years. 

5). Life is going on at a steady pace, which can be a good thing, but I prefer a sinusoidal curve. I some how feel that inertia has set in and I am waiting for something big and drastic to happen (ok I have a vague notion of the kind of thing I’ll call drastic, so it wouldn’t be a bolt from the blues). For now my fingers are crossed and double crossed.

It is ironic but even a steady and assured upward-looking future is sending me into a depression. Carpe diem, that’s what a friend said. How? 

Slaughtering the predator.

Winning a woman’s heart is like a conquest. Once she has fallen in love with you she is no better than a trophy hanging on a wall above the fireplace – a fond reminder of a successful kill. The thrill of romance is in the chase – approaching her, breaking the ice, getting her to agree for the first date, wining and dining her, slowly making her fall in love with you – that is the chase. Every time she looks into your eyes she sees the future, she sees what she can become because of you. Promises are made, which in the heat of the moment come from the bottom of your heart. You leave no stone unturned in winning her. You make her feel special. Each meeting is an improvement on the previous one. Finally the relationship becomes a series of dates – fantastic but meaningless. Were you just trying to tame a wild beast, trying to prove to yourself that you still got it? You wonder.

The realization slowly sinks in. You don’t love her, never did. You loved what she represented – a big fat kill – a challenge that you accepted and won. You call her. Tell her ‘We have to talk’. You make excuses.

It’s not you, it’s me.
I have fallen out of love.
You deserve someone better.

Your mind is concocting stories, coming up with lies faster than you can think. She just sits there dumbfounded, hardly able to believe what she’s listening. You walk away, leaving her behind in tears. You are oddly relieved, even a little happy. You justify your every action to yourself. It was for the best, you say. But guilt slowly creeps its way into your heart. You need a break. You cut yourself from the rest of the world, immerse yourself completely in work. A month goes by. Your conscience is now clear.

You are out partying with your friends. You spot someone dancing. You like what you see. Her every move is irresistible. Your eyes regain that lost spark. Your friends catch you eying her. They spur you on – go for it dude! They make jibes – she’s out of your league! ‘Want to make a small wager out of it’ you tell your friends.

You walk over to her table. Make a witty remark about the music. She and her friends laugh. You ask her for a dance then make fun of your own dancing abilities. You stumble. She laughs. She helps you out with a few moves. You are a fast learner. Now you show her a couple of your moves. She is amazed. She claps. ‘You tricked me, you are a great dancer.’ You laugh your easy laugh, the one which makes everyone around you comfortable. The two of you keep dancing – your bodies getting closer with every passing minute.

You bring her back to your table. Introduce her to your friends. They salute you – their way of accepting defeat. Her friends also join your group. Everyone seems happy, smiles all around. You are the master of your domain. You are the focus of everyone’s attention. She notices it. She has a twinkle in her eyes. She looks at her friends. Nods, smiles, pinches, winks all indicate –

We love him!
He’s a catch.

She takes your hand in hers. You look at the hands and then you look into her eyes. Both of you smile. When no one is looking you steal a kiss. She is shocked, but feels an exhilaration she has never felt before. She clasps your hand tighter.

You look up. A new group of girls is entering the pub. They look familiar. You knew them once, used to hang out with them. It dawns on you. It’s her. The fat one enters first, followed by the talkative one being badgered by the smartass and then her.

Did someone turn the music off? There is silence everywhere. You look around. Everyone’s lips are moving. You can see a flurry of activity around you – the pitcher of beer falling on the neighbouring table, the waiters running towards it, the girl next to you talking to her friend, her hand still wrapped in yours. But you can’t hear a word. The silence around you is deafening. ‘What is wrong with me?’

You snap out of it. All your senses come back. You excuse yourself – make a joke about going to the little boys’ room. They all laugh. Why do they always laugh at that one? You wonder. You walk out. You see her and her friends being escorted to a table on the other side of the room. They haven’t noticed you.

She is smiling. But it looks forced. She hasn’t been out in a while. Her friends are trying to cheer her up. She is still not over you. She is still not over you? You walk out of the pub, head towards the men’s room and splash some water on your face.

You know what has to be done. You walk out, enter the elevator and push the button for the terrace. There are people all around you. They are dancing to some loud music. You walk over to the parapet wall and sit on it with your feet dangling outwards. You feel the wind in your face. You breathe in. You apologize – apologize for every heart you have ever broken. You close your eyes. You are calm. And then it happens.

Actually a number of things happen simultaneously – 37 to be precise. That particular spot on the parapet wall is actually a worm-hole, a gateway (more like a back door entry) to the rest of the universes. Oh yes! And there are 37 of them. You fall into all these 37 universes at the same time. But the outcome is different in all the cases. Here are some of them:

– You decide to jump. You are smashed to a pulp after falling twelve floors.

– You decide not to jump. As you are about to get off the wall some idiot bumps into you and you are smashed to a pulp after falling twelve floors.

– You walk back to the pub and apologize to the first girl. Then you go back to your table and live happily ever after with the second girl who loves holding your hand.

– You finally come out of the closet.

So what happens to you?

Note :
image

Now I assume, Ms AM, you understood the reference(on instagram) why despite having a good start, things didn’t worked out as expected that day for us.