Enclosed by the walls

We don’t like to think. People will say they think about things all the time.

But do they do that?
No. They don’t. They are most probably lying to themselves and we all love to lie to ourselves because no one is going to see through the lie and as a liar you don’t want to see through it anyway.

The fault is not theirs completely. The main problem lies in our upbringing. Right from the moment we arrive on the earth, we are taught thinking is the way we feel about things and when we include feelings and thinking together we are on our way to be doomed and that’s the reality of the present world. The reason being we are not living in world of feelings rather we are living in a world of reasoning.

So what is thinking, by the way?
Many people have different definitions of it. I have mine.Thinking is basically looking at things in a logical way and understanding them with reasons. And that includes these:
1. What is this ?
2. Why is this ?
3. Where to put this ?
4. How to put this ?
5. When to put this?

Now let’s take an example to understand those 5 points. Let’s take the context of blogging.

1. What is this?
It is a blog to document my thoughts and understanding of the world.

2. Why is this?
For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with creating a worthwhile and long-lasting legacy – something that will survive me, perhaps for generations to come. Legacy can be in the form of material wealth and riches. It can be in the form of ideas. An artist’s legacy is his work; a gangster’s his street-cred and the urban legends that surround his name. As an author I hope my books are read for years to come if I finally ever write it but it is definitely on the cards. And Siddhant know why I do this? I am doing it for the next generation so that they can see and understand how I perceived the world and they are going to be super opinionated like me if I ever walk down to the aisle (hi mom) and to have an opinion they are going to need to have lots of perspectives known to them.

3. Where to put this?
I had a range of options but I chose a WordPress premium account because I am lazy and quite famous for starting things and never take it to completion and with a premium account, I am binding myself to this duty as my employer doesn’t pay me much but it is still enough to keep up my blog and booze and food.

4. How to put this?
Everyone has a way of learning things and my way is blunt and straightforward Q and A session. So if I am not writing about my past experiences, then my blog posts are usually in Q and A.

5. When to put this?
As soon as the idea pops up in my mind. Then I just need 4-5 hours to complete the entire writing and drafting process. But if the idea went out from attention even for a single day, then they are going to be in the drafts folder only. There are 5 posts and I think I am going to delete them because they didn’t make any sense to me as their time has passed.

So ask these 5 questions to understand anything and everything and the more deep your answer, the more clear you will be while performing that activity.

I always loved maths because there is no space for feelings there and whenever I tried to do anything which involved feelings, I messed up those things. That’s why I suck in all kinds of relationships as they wants me to be emotional all the times.

Right now, for a good span of time, I am meeting a lots of peoples and one thing is becoming clear to me is that we don’t like to think about things. We just want to assume about things and most importantly, we even don’t want to make our own assumptions, we just want to accept other’s assumptions and we absolutely love to brand those assumptions as our own.

We are now living in a world full of opportunities. The world of our parents are ending and with that all the options that world brought too. We can do almost anything. Our parents lived in a times when their options are limited and they had to make the best of it and our parents made the best of it because they liked to think about things. But now we have endless opportunities and we don’t think so we are just stuck in bad relationships, bad jobs, bad habits and many more.

How to see what is the difference between who thinks and who doesn’t think?

We all spend most of our leisure time on social media and we like to like, comment and share other’s brand new achievements, adventures and experiences. And we like to wonder how did they do it? They thought about it and tried to figure out the possibilities surrounding them and done that. So in that way, friends, thinking gives you an advantage to not have a boring life.

And while I am exploring new fields and learning new skills constantly – formal higher education is still not part of my life. I still have dreams of giving exams (I was a weird child – I was happiest sitting in an examination hall) and running through the corridors of a school or college. And while I have left higher education (a master’s and a PhD, perhaps) for my 30s, my quest to educate myself is at its peak. There has never been a better time to be a thinker than now.

Wait. From where does education comes into this?

Dude you can’t just start thinking just because you want to think. You need fodder to grow crops on a farm and that is where education comes into play. I am a supporter of learning (both formal and informal).

I believe that thinking is an acquired skill that can be developed over time. In the nature vs nurture debate – this skill definitely falls on the side of nurture. One also learns it by imitation – by observing others – parents, teachers, friends, mentors, colleagues, etc.

Its impact on personal and professional growth is huge if one acquires this skill at an early stage. Also, it is definitely something one can pick up later in life – albeit with a lot of hard work.

Are we doomed?
Most probably, Yes if we don’t start to think about things now.

Okay now is the time for some random music videos on which I am hooked on.

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Aargh!!! Not again.

I am extremely mad at myself. I am so mad, that I feel crazier than usual. At times like these I wish there was someone who could whack me and straighten that convoluted head of mine.

This is a random post as I have nothing to write about. But there are lots of bits and pieces of thoughts in my mind from last couple of days and they are troubling me, so I decided to write them down. You may ask why can’t I write it in private? Writing in private takes the fun out of it and I have a pretty boring life so I like to have fun whenever I get chance. There is not a clear direction of what I am going to write about but a perfect example of how I like to think about things. Starting with puzzling Q and A and then deciding which one is better before settling down to form an opinion about it. I have opinions and you have to be ready with logic and explanations if you ever want to challenge my opinions.

Brace yourselves, Puzzled thoughts are coming!

1). I simply don’t know when to give up. I should learn to take a hint. Never been given a cold shoulder before (it’s happened once earlier, but that was just pathetic). The weird thing is, I don’t feel hurt – I just feel odd. Pride and arrogance tell me that there is no possible reason for anyone to ignore me. Or is there?
This is my punishment for being so easily amused and cheerful all the time – a good solid dose of depression. It’s definitely not helping the cause of writing. Neither is continuously thinking about the gorgeous girl who I always meet (accidentally) in the office elevator.

2). Every now and then I reach the conclusion that the Universe has nothing left to teach me. Or that whatever else is left, is either useless or redundant. I wallow in the splendid muck of my ignorance. And then the Universe drags me out, gives me a cold shower, cleans me from head to toe and proceeds to give me a whipping which would make any Los Angles dominatrix proud. I hear you loud and clear Universe.

You.
Are.
My.
Daddy.

3). Depression and excitement can go together – I am a stinking potpourri of emotions these days. I make myself sick.

4). I figured out something when I was twelve years old. I was a bright, precocious brat with a simple view of the world. I figured that elders (anyone who was older than me) had nothing to offer me as far as knowledge was concerned. Considering I was so young, this notion might look childish, but today I can add the weight of a decade of experience behind it. In my humble opinion elders have not been responsible for a single bit of knowledge in my head – either it was already there and I just needed to discover it or else I was smart enough to figure things out on my own. Elders may have played the role of a guide in some of the discoveries but given enough time I would have stumbled upon those hidden springs of knowledge on my own. A very egomaniacal thought but I stand by it.
I come to the next more crucial point. My mental growth is now almost stagnant; it has remained so for the last couple of years. 

5). Life is going on at a steady pace, which can be a good thing, but I prefer a sinusoidal curve. I some how feel that inertia has set in and I am waiting for something big and drastic to happen (ok I have a vague notion of the kind of thing I’ll call drastic, so it wouldn’t be a bolt from the blues). For now my fingers are crossed and double crossed.

It is ironic but even a steady and assured upward-looking future is sending me into a depression. Carpe diem, that’s what a friend said. How? 

Slaughtering the predator.

Winning a woman’s heart is like a conquest. Once she has fallen in love with you she is no better than a trophy hanging on a wall above the fireplace – a fond reminder of a successful kill. The thrill of romance is in the chase – approaching her, breaking the ice, getting her to agree for the first date, wining and dining her, slowly making her fall in love with you – that is the chase. Every time she looks into your eyes she sees the future, she sees what she can become because of you. Promises are made, which in the heat of the moment come from the bottom of your heart. You leave no stone unturned in winning her. You make her feel special. Each meeting is an improvement on the previous one. Finally the relationship becomes a series of dates – fantastic but meaningless. Were you just trying to tame a wild beast, trying to prove to yourself that you still got it? You wonder.

The realization slowly sinks in. You don’t love her, never did. You loved what she represented – a big fat kill – a challenge that you accepted and won. You call her. Tell her ‘We have to talk’. You make excuses.

It’s not you, it’s me.
I have fallen out of love.
You deserve someone better.

Your mind is concocting stories, coming up with lies faster than you can think. She just sits there dumbfounded, hardly able to believe what she’s listening. You walk away, leaving her behind in tears. You are oddly relieved, even a little happy. You justify your every action to yourself. It was for the best, you say. But guilt slowly creeps its way into your heart. You need a break. You cut yourself from the rest of the world, immerse yourself completely in work. A month goes by. Your conscience is now clear.

You are out partying with your friends. You spot someone dancing. You like what you see. Her every move is irresistible. Your eyes regain that lost spark. Your friends catch you eying her. They spur you on – go for it dude! They make jibes – she’s out of your league! ‘Want to make a small wager out of it’ you tell your friends.

You walk over to her table. Make a witty remark about the music. She and her friends laugh. You ask her for a dance then make fun of your own dancing abilities. You stumble. She laughs. She helps you out with a few moves. You are a fast learner. Now you show her a couple of your moves. She is amazed. She claps. ‘You tricked me, you are a great dancer.’ You laugh your easy laugh, the one which makes everyone around you comfortable. The two of you keep dancing – your bodies getting closer with every passing minute.

You bring her back to your table. Introduce her to your friends. They salute you – their way of accepting defeat. Her friends also join your group. Everyone seems happy, smiles all around. You are the master of your domain. You are the focus of everyone’s attention. She notices it. She has a twinkle in her eyes. She looks at her friends. Nods, smiles, pinches, winks all indicate –

We love him!
He’s a catch.

She takes your hand in hers. You look at the hands and then you look into her eyes. Both of you smile. When no one is looking you steal a kiss. She is shocked, but feels an exhilaration she has never felt before. She clasps your hand tighter.

You look up. A new group of girls is entering the pub. They look familiar. You knew them once, used to hang out with them. It dawns on you. It’s her. The fat one enters first, followed by the talkative one being badgered by the smartass and then her.

Did someone turn the music off? There is silence everywhere. You look around. Everyone’s lips are moving. You can see a flurry of activity around you – the pitcher of beer falling on the neighbouring table, the waiters running towards it, the girl next to you talking to her friend, her hand still wrapped in yours. But you can’t hear a word. The silence around you is deafening. ‘What is wrong with me?’

You snap out of it. All your senses come back. You excuse yourself – make a joke about going to the little boys’ room. They all laugh. Why do they always laugh at that one? You wonder. You walk out. You see her and her friends being escorted to a table on the other side of the room. They haven’t noticed you.

She is smiling. But it looks forced. She hasn’t been out in a while. Her friends are trying to cheer her up. She is still not over you. She is still not over you? You walk out of the pub, head towards the men’s room and splash some water on your face.

You know what has to be done. You walk out, enter the elevator and push the button for the terrace. There are people all around you. They are dancing to some loud music. You walk over to the parapet wall and sit on it with your feet dangling outwards. You feel the wind in your face. You breathe in. You apologize – apologize for every heart you have ever broken. You close your eyes. You are calm. And then it happens.

Actually a number of things happen simultaneously – 37 to be precise. That particular spot on the parapet wall is actually a worm-hole, a gateway (more like a back door entry) to the rest of the universes. Oh yes! And there are 37 of them. You fall into all these 37 universes at the same time. But the outcome is different in all the cases. Here are some of them:

– You decide to jump. You are smashed to a pulp after falling twelve floors.

– You decide not to jump. As you are about to get off the wall some idiot bumps into you and you are smashed to a pulp after falling twelve floors.

– You walk back to the pub and apologize to the first girl. Then you go back to your table and live happily ever after with the second girl who loves holding your hand.

– You finally come out of the closet.

So what happens to you?

Note :
image

Now I assume, Ms AM, you understood the reference(on instagram) why despite having a good start, things didn’t worked out as expected that day for us.

Time Capsule

Today while going through the discussion of how Buddha used to look between me and Siddhant, as we both had different opinions on it, I came to know about this interesting concept called Time Capsule and I decided to see what is my interpretation of it, so I decided to write a post about it.

Dear Abhi,

You know how I (you?) find it extremely difficult to take a first step in almost everything you decide to do. Whether it’s a post,a piece of software code, a short design doodle, a poem (remember you used to write those free-verse poems in under five minutes by ripping off popular songs for your crushes in college … I hope those instant urges of writing have become your famous and enduring creations), a text message or riding at high speed without thinking about gear change ; I always struggle with the first few steps. So much depends on the beginning; it defines everything which comes before and everything which will come after it. The first step is like a first kiss (and even though we know that things only start looking up after the third kiss – once you have figured your way around the shape, structure and style of the woman’s lips, tongue and the inner sanctum of her beautiful mouth – the first kiss usually seals the fate).

Damn! This is difficult.

Let’s be analytical about this thing and break it up into sections.

This is where your life stands on 10th March 2016.

My (Your) Belief System 

Just cause you’re hung like a moose doesn’t mean you gotta do porn.
— Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

What’s Up with You?

1. You are working on another post with a hope that some day people will start taking your writing seriously (you have to take it seriously too buddy).
2. You are planning to move to UK / Mumbai (the only two place which you loved without any logical explanation).
3. You are single and ready to mingle but not actively mingling.
4. There are too many books lying around in your room and you are thinking about taking a long leave to finish them so that you can buy some more. Your reading list is still a long way from being finished.
5. You only hate one set of persons with all your being (will you ever forgive that evil frigid group of bitches ?)

Recent Happenings

1. You realised you are not always right about others (you can also get emotionally hurt in a bookshop – oh! And you have recently figured out that you can get emotionally hurt).
2. Your already weak faith in arranged marriages is completely shaken.
3. You are dealing too many cards at once.
4. Keshav got a new job. Siddhant is about to join his next company. Raju is about to get married. You brag about it to anyone who’d lend you their ears willingly (or unwillingly) and you are so proud of your boys that your heart might explode any minute now. Khiru is about to complete his long dream of joining PSU. Samar is working his arse off (ok he is just trying to complete the front end assignment, God, how much he hates that job).

Your Short/ Long Term Aims

Publish!
Game!
Advertising!

What Were You Thinking Before Writing This 

You were thinking about the word Anonymous. You were remembering how in kindergarten a teacher told you that Anon was a famous poet who wrote a lot of poems. Mom then told you the correct meaning of the word and you had blasted the living intellectual lights out of the teacher’s head. And you started doubting the teacher’s intelligence since then despite you come from a family of teachers (What a coincidence!) . Even today you are an egoistic bastard and you are proud of it (for your sake I hope you are; I warn you I’ll go medieval on your arse if you are not).

Then you were thinking that you had recently come across a blog (by accident) which seemed to belong to the Anshumani Ruddra who is influencing your life since past 1.8 years. You really seem to admire that guy and his mind.

There is also your last Tinder date(Who is way above your reach, “AS” ). You are not entirely certain that “AS” changed you or not but you came to see life through new perspective since. The Angel Theory. She also brings out the one quality in you that you hate as well as crave the most. Your anger (an outcome of your tickled ego – it cannot really be hurt, your ego that is) results in such an amazing outpour of words (which are very caustic in nature, mind you) that they destroy everything in their way. There is however the stamp of ingenuity on her, the mark of superiority, which you want all your words to carry. It’s a shame that anger is your greatest creative catalyst.

You were also thinking about the name Bhavna. You are really stuck on that name and praying almost everyday that you get a girl of that name only. You and your obsessions are still intolerable to you also.

You were also extremely hungry and were about to have a midnight maggi round.

I hope your life is chaotic and you don’t dream too often. That’ll happen only if you fall asleep when you are dead tired or when her (the tall, slim, hot intellectual’s) embrace is irresistible.

Cheers
Abhi.

Hitched ? to be : not to be

I have had this conversation with my parents, grandparents and some friends on a number of occasions and I think it is about time that I put my thoughts down in proper words with regard to this topic:
what are the qualities I would like the woman of my dreams to have?
Before continuing please read the following note of caution/disclaimer or whatever you will like to call it:

* I might be the most undeserving man in the entire universe and there is a huge chance that I would probably never get the woman I desire (after all the mistakes I have made ,I might not get any one at all). But then again, I might be a very deserving man and should get an even better woman.
* For the love of God ,let it be clear that I don’t intend to demean women. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the other gender.
* I am a very level headed guy. But if any comment of mine goes against your system of thoughts and beliefs then please think of me as a goof ball and forget the whole thing but take sometime to reflect on that. I am a pacifist by choice ,an extremist by intellect and don’t usually say any extreme views. The only extreme view I have is that some are blessed with enormous stupidity.
* This article is written with extreme seriousness.
* If I am an egoist/egotist then this earth is flat. But I am an elitist(to some extent) and don’t tolerate idiocracy at any cost.

I promised my parents and grandparents that I will marry any girl who fulfils even half of the following criteria:

Physical Characteristics:

1) The girl has to be tall and by tall I mean she should have a height of at least 5 feet 6 inches (or 168 cm). I am 5 feet 10 inches tall. There is something about tall girls which totally turns me on. Any way after spending time with short girls I start getting these paternal elder brotherly feelings for them. That cannot be good.
2) The girl should either have large black eyes or colored eyes.
3) Dimples look great on a girl.
4) Curly Hair – any length as long as they are black and the girl isn’t bald.
5) She should be either very fair or should have a dusk complexion. No in-betweens.
6) Should have clean and beautiful feet (I have a thing for feet).

Other Characteristics:

1) The girl has to be a bibliophile or a film addict (I suffer from both these diseases; we will have tons to talk about).
2) Should have a distinct sense of style and grace about her. You may call it charisma.
3) Should not be to stressed out and overly ambitious about her career. I would like a woman whose first priority is family. Believe me when I say that all the decisions I take, is for my family’s better future.
4) Should be a dreamer and should believe in fantasy and romance (I am not much of a romantic so she has to make up for the two of us). It would be great if she is a pathological liar like I am (likes to make up stories) and is mischievous and likes to play pranks. (Very few people can appreciate quality number 4)
5) Should have a good heart-head sync while making decisions (I have a heart of stone and my analytical engineering mind is a useless bag of shit).
6) The girl should love walking because I go everywhere on my two legs(till now I have no affinity towards bikes and cars. Uber to the rescue.).
7) Should be adventurous and ready to try out new things (don’t stretch your imaginations too far).
8) Should like food (eating obviously, cooking would be an added bonus).
9) Should like shopping (which girl doesn’t)
10) Should be a good singer or an excellent dancer. I can’t do either of those.
11) Should be creative (arts/literature/catching butterflies/sneezing non stop/ serial killing/blah/blah/blah).

Now there are perhaps another thousand things which I’ll notice in a girl but the above are more or less the first set of qualities I look for. I might never find a girl with the exact 17 qualities. I might find a girl with the exact opposite qualities and still fall in love with her. Only time will tell. For now my mom and grandma are happy that the list has been formally compiled. She has already started looking. I have five more years to find myself a girl or I’ll have to marry the girl she finds for me (that wouldn’t be all that bad … it’s just that I don’t like arranged marriages).

So I take leave with these thoughts:

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
George Bernard Shaw

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world or even with a little more care in this imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are married to.
J.R.R. Tolkien

Now the random music video on which I am indulging now a days. Two of them exactly.

I , Me and Myself

Okay, the title of this blog post is amusing enough to get your attraction. If it isn’t, then please fuck off. As it isn’t for you. This is very close to me that’s why I am not going to share it on my social media and will give it to only those who I think deserves to read this.

It is a short memoir ; so it is going to full of rants (my favourite pass time activity) and loathing (to myself and to the world). Don’t read it if you can’t digest the truth (from my eyes). Language is going to be rough as I speak that day in day out.

Let’s begin the showdown. It is going to be in the form of an Interview . I love giving interviews , it doesn’t matter what type of interview would that be. For me when you meet someone for the first time, it is an interview as you both are trying to dig up the facts so that you can judge each other to decide on the Right Swipe or the Left Swipe (Tinder reference,bitch). And it is me interviewing myself.

Question : Why I decided to write one knowing that I am no one in the crowd and I hadn’t done anything significant till now?
Answer : We are living in a world where there are no real good models and whoever is there, they have no interest in helping you to get your shit together and with the rise of internet penetration , we have torrents. And what do we do with that? We go to IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes and search for the highest rated shows and then we see them. Why do we do that? Because they all have “alpha” males who are working on the blurry line between white and black to build their life. We have

Walter White , Harvey Specter , Bobby Axelrod , Hannibal Lecter and Dexter Morgan

(there are many, but these are on my mind right now).What do they have in common? They all built their lives themselves from the ashes.And we want to be them and that’s why an interrogation is needed to decide whether we are worthy of becoming something like them or not and this will be sort of that thing.

Question : Background ?
Answer : I have a family who built their life themselves without taking any shit from what other people think about them. First I will talk about my mother.It all started when my great grandfather came to Jamshedpur to start a life with his family in 1936. He started working at Tata Steel. He had 2 sons and 4 daughters. His eldest son is my grandfather , so we will focus on him only. His wife died when his childrens were quite young. My grandfather was in Class 10 then and his siblings were very young. He was a very bright student, yet he decided to join Tata Steel in 1957 to support the family with his father. He joined as an Artisan Trainee and retired as Manager – Quality Assurance in 1998. In between that he completed his engineering in mechanical engineering by studying in the evening classes provided by Tata Steel in 8 years. In his batch they started with 50 students but only 8 students completed . He was studying along with his full-time day job with ensuring that his children and siblings get the proper education. And he succeeded in it. My mother has 2 PostGraduate degrees and my uncles are well established in their areas of work. Now about my father, he was very young when his parents died. He was 2 when his mother passed away and 16 when his father passed away. His uncle took him under his tutelage and made sure he and his sisters get the proper education. My father had almost spent his entire student life in hostels studying and giving tutions for the education fees , all that by himself. He also has a PG degree. And my father and mother got married in 1987 and then came me and my sister and they all made sure that we both get proper education and all the things which will enable us to fight the world to claim what is ours. So they built their empires themselves and me and my sister are making ours now.

Question : Education ?
Answer : An average student all my life but with a great intuition and eye for detail in the smallest of things. That made me good in Maths and all that required Skill and Creativity. Learnt drawing for few years(4 years to be exact) but the problem came when I can’t create anything by my own but became extremely good in understanding other’s work and present it in a way which the creator wouldn’t have thought. I was good with colors and right now that helps me in figuring out the filters when posting images (Instagram reference). On the school side , I was doing what I caught my attention and then come my engineering years. Those 4 years were a complete turmoil for me. And they changed me for the bad. If given another chance, I will never visit that place again, it is never in my good thoughts. I lost more there than I recieved from there.

Question : Upbringing ?
Answer : Pretty awesome. I had my fair share of the all the activities which one should have. I became a sociopath as the environment in which I was growing up had no one of my age. Either they were much older than me or they were much younger and I adjusted to that. It was a Mafia feeling. But that thing made me a disabled person when dealing with persons of my age. It affected me in the college. I had all my friends who were senior to me and that’s why I don’t have a single meaningful relationship with my batchmates, it is just “Hi-Bye”.

Question : Friends ? Girlfriends ?
Answer : I don’t know. I don’t have time for other’s bullshit. There are few but we all are busy in our lifes , I think. But we all know we are there for each other when we need each other. I had quiet a few girlfriends but nothing worked out as our thinking didn’t matched with each other. In some cases I was more progressive and in some cases she was more. Hoping to meet someone who is on the same page with me. Fingers crossed though.

Question : What was the main reason for the breakups?
Answer : I did somethings of which I am not proud of but I think that was the correct things to do at that time. And I am not a strong believer of marriages. So I think breakup was already on the cards in the beginning of those relationships.

Question : Class ?
Answer : Yes, for me class is important. But it is a very objective viewpoint. People say that the clothes I wear shows my class which is nothing but I feel pity for them. They think wearing brands makes them classy but it isn’t class and “class” is something else. For me it is : wearing clean cloths , presentable looks and “a beautiful mind”. Because the looks are going to fade away with age. George Clooney and Nicole Kidman are only ones last time I checked who still are awesome as they were at the start of their careers . But with “a beautiful mind” you can always be graceful and most important you know what is important and what needs your attention. Because we are living in a world where we have access to all the information and we are in need of a filter to get the relevant ones and that filter comes from your education or my grandfather calls it “common sense” , which is not at all common now a days.

Question : Role models?
Answer : Quite a few. I don’t want to name them. But we all are pretty close at the time of need.

Question : Career?
Answers : I always thought that we were destined for greater things. I see my friends around me and I see so much talent. But all seems to be going to waste. Not that we don’t have time or resources for doing other things(artistic or intellectual). But the moment I try doing something new, something out of the ordinary I start thinking about its use to my future. I have started looking at all things through this screen of materialistic instincts. I miss the time when I could do something just for the heck of it. Now everything has to be a part of this larger master-plan. All this makes me think — Where did I go wrong? Maybe these issues will sort themselves out.

Question : God?
Answers : I don’t believe in it as I never found any help when it was needed. But I am trying to believe in the Angel therapy. It is a matter of time before I fully believe in one.

Question : Strength?
Answer : Compulsive obsession to get the things done. And learn things as quickly as possible. Thinking on the feet.

Question : Weakness?
Answer : I analyze things too much. On the work side it is a boon but on the personal side it is bane.

Question : Are you ambitious?
Answer :
image

Question : You want me to ask more?
Answer : Fuck you. I am done.

An evening with “ADS”.

NSFW content ahead. So please go ahead if your mental age is more than 18. I am not saying real age 18 because I have seen a lot of adult babies in my life and I despise them as they think having age greater than me makes them senior and more mature than me and we all know it is not at all true. You know what it is , it is BULLSHIT. Mental age is a very different thing than the Real age and we should focus on Mental one rather than Real one. Ok, enough with my RANT, now let’s go back to the main content.

What is ADS?
It is short form of advertisements and it is used in day to day language (who wants to say “Advertisements” when you can say “Ads” as it has 11 less words).

We see ads here and there in our day to day life. We all see ads in different forms : print, graphs, audio,video, animated and friends. Okay, we can understand all the forms of ads mentioned above but how Friends are ads? They wear different types of ads. Their watch, clothes, bike they ride, cars they drive, channels they watch, social media platforms they consume, airlines they fly with ; they are advertising all that and we also follow them with a belief that “those things will be good as my friend is using it regularly” and people are staunch supporters of what they use and like.

So now, lets give a background story of how I met with Ads.
We all have mothers, grandmas, sisters and elder ladies in our home. And they love watching crappy Ekta Kapoor’s serials and their more crappy clones and no one dares to ask for TV from them at that time because they become Kali Maa and we can’t afford that. So we wait for the breaks and in the breaks , we meet Ads of a vast range of things from soaps to cements to stationary to foods and what not. Name it and there is an ad for them whether they are broadcasted on the TV or not, but they are there. You can watch them on Youtube, Vimeo and Dailymotion(I think you know the search terms 😛 and if you don’t ,you are an adult baby ,congrats).

I thought of writing this because of a conversation with a friend about Ads specifically Airtel 4G girl and Idea Ad. And random indie song videos on the Youtube will introduce to the Durex ads. They are to the point and no irritating jingle(Idea have a very irritating yet catchy jingle : “get get get idea”).

Now I will put some of the print Ad campaigns of the Durex and Airtel here and try to differentiate them. And differentiate among them on these factors:
1) To the Point
2) Forces to think what next
3) Outreach to Target Customers
4) Imaginative

Durex print Ads:

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Airtel 4G Ads:

Now lets do the differentiation:
1) Both are to the point but Airtel one is misleading one as we know what is the truth of the Airtel data speeds.

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2) Durex one is the one which let’s you think what next and you know the endless possibilities.

3) Airtel ad is omnipresent. And the product placers didn’t even thought that people are not going to change their networks on the basis of one ad. They will switch only when they find their friend’s network really satisfactory.

4) Durex : 1
Airtel : 0
See these two ads of Idea.

Both the ads are pretty much same other than the different product placements.

So now understand what I am talking about.

There is also a Youtube channel in which Sahil Shah presents our frustations with the most obnoxious ads in a funny way with a pinch of spices.

Ok, you don’t want to see all those videos because you don’t have time. Fine , do yourself a favour and watch how he destroys the Airtel 4G girl.

Here is one very bad placed ad featuring Shah Rukh Khan.

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Now let’s see what Ogilvy has to say about it :http://www.slideshare.net/vinod_iitr2/advertising-industry-analysis-ogilvy-and-m ather-report

Ogilvy is an Ad agency which has created some finest piece of ads like :
http://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow/captivating-ogilvy-campaigns

You can also follow them on Instagram to see their works:
Ogilvy UK : https://www.instagram.com/ogilvyuk/
Ogilvy SA : https://www.instagram.com/ogilvysa/
Ogilvy Mather US : https://www.instagram.com/ogilvymather/
Ogilvy India (Facebook): https://www.facebook.com/OgilvyMatherIndia/

Ogilvy India is headed by none other than the legendary Piyush Pandey (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piyush_Pandey).
So you don’t know him, okay ,let me give you a brief introduction:
Piyush Pandey has won a number of awards.He was named the most influential man in Indian advertising for eight consecutive years by The Economic Times.In 2000, the Ad Club of Mumbai voted his commercial for Fevikwik the commercial of the century and his work for Cadbury the campaign of the century.Pandey was voted Asia’s Creative Person of the Year at the Media Asia Awards 2002. He is the only Indian to win a double gold at Cannes (for his Cancer Patients Association anti-smoking campaign) and a triple grand prize at the London International Awards. During Pandey’s tenure, O&M India won 25 lions at Cannes. In 2002, he won India’s first Silver Pencil at The One Show Awards.Pandey received a lifetime achievement award in 2010 from the Advertising Agencies Association of India.

He was invited to be a jury member on the 2000 Clio Awards, at the 2002 Cannes Film Festival and was the first Asian jury president for outdoor and press and film at the 2004 Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival.He was invited to judge the 2007 Asia Pacific Advertising Festival Awards.

And the founder of Ogilvy is none other than David Ogilvy also known as The Father of Advertising.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Ogilvy_(businessman)

There are lots of other advertisement firms in the world (established and new ones).
Some established ones are:
1 Ogilvy & Mather
2 IDEO
3 Leo Burnett
4 JWT
5 BBDO
6 Wieden + Kennedy
7 Forza Migliozzi
8 McCann Erickson
9 Razorfish
10 Edelman

Some Indian ones are:
1. Ogilvy & Mather
2. McCann Erickson India
3. Mudra Communications
4. FCB Ulka
5. Saatchi & Saatchi
6. The Glitch (My favorite. Check its portfolio, you will understand why.)

So I believe you understand the basics of Good ads and Bad ads.

Now , the ritual part:

Random Cartoon:

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Random Video :

Rant(s)…

Yes, Rants.

I do enjoy ranting about everything I find “rant-able”.

What is actually “ranting” ?
It is a long, angry and impassioned speech. (as per dictionary, Google it if you want)

It is generally religiously practiced by the old generation about the work, ideologies and beliefs of our current generation.

Don’t believe me? Go and talk to anyone above 55 years of age and sooner and later they will start it. As I was writing the above line, I just figured out a new definition of the word “ranting”.

Ranting is a long and angry speech which is very hateful in its origin but is presented in an intelligent sarcastic way. And it is not generalised, as not all elder people do it. Only those do it who has failed to achieve something and is generally jealous of some one younger who is showing some promise that he/she will achieve their goals.

Okay, now let’s begin ranting. But there are too many things I rant about day in and day out. And now that I have decided to rant about them in the blog to make it my legacy, I no longer remember them. I think the reason would be the movies I saw today. The movies were :
1. Ek paheli leela
2. The big lebowski
3. What women want

I know you are judging me because of the first mentioned film. But I had nothing to do and my pg owner chose the cheapest channel plan available and that left me with lots of hindi channels and South Indian channels and now a days Hindi channels are hell bent on only showing South Indian movies dubbed in Hindi. So I decided to watch it because I kinda liked it’s songs. And the last part of the movie, the climax amazed me. It was not what I expected and I like everything that I can’t expect.

Then The Jeff Bridges redefined the definition of the word Dude in the cult classic The Big Lebowski. How I missed this piece of ultimate class and pop culture? I really need to re-evaluate the people with whom I spend my time, they aren’t adding anything new and are taking me back to the Stone age. I am more than interested in learning about Pop Culture now than ever and hoping that it will be of some use in the future. Right now it is pitch black from where I am standing and trying to peek into it.

What women want. No body in the world knows. I have met some really smart women in my life and what really made us part our way was our understanding(misunderstanding) of each other. Mel Gibson cracked that code and exploited it wonderfully in the movie. God, can I have that power also? Not for forever but for 1 hr daily for the rest of my life. That would be fine because that thing for 24 hrs, daily can really make things worse because  it is a real life not reel.

I ranted a little bit above. But it is not structured, it is random ; though I like randomness in real life but in work, I prefer to be structured.

The list of items on which I am going to rant about :
1. Comic book wannabe experts.
2. Wannabe technology experts.
3. Wannabe cool dudes.

1. Comic book wannabe experts.
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Now a days, it seems like the storytellers in the Hollywood had run out of stories and they are just making lots of movies inspired from the fabled comics all thanks to the foresightedness of Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan who showed us what comic book movies should be. Disney/Marvel are just churning out movies like Rohit Shetty and they are doing a great job in making money but they are still far away from great content. And the people now a days, hadn’t read a comics in their entire life, don’t know what Manga is, Anime is, but they all saw some movies and started claiming they know everything about it and they are so high in their ignorance that it is quite impossible to bring them some understanding of the legacy of the comic books. Without knowing simple basics of the superheroes and villains, they are just making assumptions. Okay, making assumptions is not bad, but keep it with yourself only. You are not Frank Miller or Neil Gaiman and can never will be because you can’t think. So before you start commenting on what is what and who is who, better start reading some comics.

2. Wannabe Technology experts.
Now a days thanks to YouTube and several unemployed youtubers, you get a lots of bullshit opinions disguised as expert reviews on all technical devices, programming languages and upcoming technologies.
Imagine a high school failure who can’t even solve a simple calculus problem telling you about the Machine Learning.
Imagine a person whose first handheld device in his life was an iPhone and he is telling you about iOS vs Android and the best part is they are telling you in technical terms of which they also didn’t have any idea what it is.

3. Wannabe cool dudes.
Lots are around us. Telling us what to do, how to do, when to do and why to do irrespective of whether they had done that in their life or not. People have advices for almost everything and the way they tell you it almost makes you think, “is it even possible?”. And some are your friends, you can’t even ask them to Shut Up. But it has a solution also, slowly and slowly drift away from them, by doing that you aren’t burning the bridges, you are just going to the other end and you can always come back to meet them.

Now that I am tired of finding new content to add to this. I am adding new sections on my posts from now on. One will be a random cartoon pic which I encountered before pressing the Publish button and the another will be a song/video which I am hearing on Repeat mode in that period of time.

Random Cartoon :
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Video on which I am hooked.

Programming : Solution or a part of the Solution.

Coding Academies Are Nonsense

I encountered this article and it has some very nice points about the rise of the Coding Bootcamps and what is the current reality of them. If you haven’t read it yet, go through it before continuing here on this post (link is right above).

How I decided that I am going to write about it ?
I have friends and they all believe only programming is going to get them to highs in their life and when I ask them what made them think so , they start showing me articles, news clips and examples. But are those examples provides a complete informative picture ? No,they don’t. And when you try to discuss something with delusional people, beware you are going to be taught a lots of things which are miles away from the reality. But you don’t destroy relationships on the basis of ideologies , so you write about it and let people decide for themselves : what is right and what is wrong ?Then I found the above article and decided to increase my number of tweets by 1 and after that ,thought let’s give this post a shot. And now we are here, me writing and you reading.

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Programmers might disagree with this article as the today’s StartUp scene has glorified the Programmers thanks to the movies like “The Social Network” and sitcoms like “Silicon Valley”.

People opposed the movie “The Social Network” by arguing that it is not the correct interpretation of the founding of the Facebook but if you ignore the accuracy of the founding of Facebook and take it as fiction , you will discover that Mark Zuckerberg inspite of not being only a good programmer was also a man who took the complete oversight of the development of Facebook by hiring some great people to handle the basic intricacies which made the Facebook one of the coolest websites to hangout and a disruptive company which is now changing the Internet feature by feature.

See the list of some of the best(first) hires at the Facebook.
https://www.smartrecruiters.com/blog/the-10-hires-that-made-facebook-facebook/

Sitcom “Silicon Valley” handled it very carefully. Episode by episode , it shows how the Pied Piper hired some guys to provide a clear roadmap about how to go from a Garage company to a company which will change the world by solving a problem(data compression) and in the same time handle the juggernaut(Hooli) which is very good at plagiarism.

Now back to the real life.
I like photography and Instagram , Snapseed , Boomerang (by Instagram) and Sketch are my favourite apps. So whenever I get time I go through their Engineering blogs to read about their work. So I came across this article and it provided few things which solidified my opinion. (Go see my Instagram feed and follow me: https://instagram.com/abhinav_grv/).

Go through this nice article, also.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/11568119/Instagrams-Kevin-Systrom-Im-dangerous-enough-to-code-and-sociable-enough-to-sell-our-company.html
See the headline , “I am dangerous enough to code and sociable enough to sell our company”.
Not all programmers are sociable. They are hard coded nerds with a belief that programming is what running the world.

It is true upto an extent but
1.) What are you going to program in vacuum?
2.) Is your code solving any problem?
3.) Is your code optimized enough to not disturb the other resources and the solve the issue at hand?

So, if these questions were answered with utmost truth , you will also know(learn) what I know(learned).

Programming is a cool thing and I am a Programmer myself and I have been doing it from 2004 , but now I am in a transition mode to become a Product Curator as I love to see, handle and get involved in the both extrinsic and intrinsic aspects of the Product Development. I respect Programmers as they build cool systems but what is the use of a system which is of “no value”.

But more focus should on the end to end development of the solutions.
Below are some of the links, go through them to understand the profile(s) of the real problem solvers.
1.) https://medium.com/swlh/the-role-of-a-product-manager-e0354b4b6845#.txhfoyiax
2.) http://a16z.com/2012/06/15/good-product-managerbad-product-manager/
3.) https://medium.com/@matbalez/product-manager-you-are-664d83ee702e#.k9r1gxezi
4.) https://medium.com/swlh/the-role-of-a-product-manager-e0354b4b6845#.tez6lksx9

If for sometime, we let go ourselves from our ego , then only we will be able to see the real problem and what steps should be taken to solve it.

On the ending note :
“Focus on the steps required to solve a problem but don’t get stuck on the step itself.”

How not to get things done?

Yes, it is going to be quite a messy article.

But what is the motive to write this one if it is going to be a messy ?

Because few days back , I didn’t had anything to do and was confused where I am going on in my life (introspection : my favorite pass time activity.) So I started watching Game Of Thrones (finally , as I don’t prefer watching anything which destroys the original substance by modifying it according to the marketing people to keep up the TRP , but “marta kya na karta !”) and suddenly the thought of this post came up.

And it doesn’t hurt in once in a while to write a truthful-realistic letter to yourself to get your beliefs straight. And it is mostly that , I suppose.

Why am I writing it ?

Simple, I have a fair good record of not getting things done. I leave them by completing it 80-90% because of the following reasons. And there are lots of articles on “How to get things done !” and they all are written by super optimistic persons , so I thought let’s give it a Realistic treatment and I started drawing out inferences from my life to find out the reasons which didn’t allowed me or disturbed me to get derailed from the path.

On the upfront , these are the few reasons :

  1. Procrastination
  2. Friends (disclaimer : not all of them)
  3. Lack of focused attention
  4. Over marketing of yourself.

1. Procrastination :
It is basically “play a waiting game”. Waiting game , here is the work in your hand and  playing , is delaying it by thinking let’s research some more on this thing so that we can churn out a more finished product. What are you , huh , Apple ? Even they don’t churn that good stuff.
Follow this link to see the real face of Apple .

and

Note : I don’t hate Apple ; I just don’t like it. Overpriced Beautiful Stuffs.

Be Microsoft . Put a product out and then keep on updating it ; people like updating , we are used to it thanks to Microsoft.

2. Friends (disclaimer : not all of them) :
Yes , believe it or not. Not all are your wellwishers and they had just put up a poker face in front of you because they want to enjoy seeing you fail. No , you hadn’t done anything wrong to them , but you are a part of a lineage and not everyone is appreciative of the achievements of your fathers and forefathers and when they compare their life with them , they get angry and jealous and then there you are , still building your legacy and that makes you an easy target and boom, you will see and hear a lot of things from them which will derail you from doing your required things as you will start spending time lamenting and thinking about the things which they made you feel is true but in reality they aren’t. They are “the wolves dressed as rabbits”.

3. Lack of focused attention :
You are not focused. You may say that you are focused but take a moment to think on what are you focused ? Answer will be “on the end results” . The correct answer should be “on the process to reach the end result”.

You should always know “what the end result should be ” but always focus on the “processes to reach the end result ” as they are basic building blocks. You don’ t just sow the seeds of onions to reap potatoes by thinking that there will be potatoes because you want it to be potatoes. So think about it.

4. Over marketing of yourself
Yes , you do it a lot. You just talk about yourself , your past achievements and your lineage achievements.

Let’s dissect it.

If you have to talk about or tell about yourself to everyone , then you are probably not what you think of yourself.
If you talk about your past achievements , then please note down this thing :”past performance doesn’t guarantee future success”.
If you relish your lineage achievements , you shouldn’t do that. They hadn’t indulge in those things, only then they can get things done.

I think the above mentioned points sums it all up nicely and you probably know what needs to be done to get things done.