Dodging a fatal bullet…

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The first girl I ever loved (more like one-sided devotion in the beginning, cherry popping for both in the middle, ‘We’d live happily ever after’ near the end and ‘goodbye and thanks for all the amazing mind-boggling sex’ eventually is probably getting ready to marry to whom she finds good enough. I will not get the news straight from the horse’s mouth (oh and what a heavenly horse she was), but from the horse’s chuddy-buddy (who is a horrid peice of work ). Melancholy is hiding somewhere in the deep recesses of my heart waiting to ambush the I-don’t-care-I’ll-get-someone-better-than-her bravado(I believe in it whole heartedly ) which lurks in my mind.

The affair started at a time when the first sign of manhood was sprouting all over my face and slowly morphing into a thick dark stubble. Oh! what a stubble! I never wanted to shave, just wanted to grow really old and have a long flowing white beard in which bread-crumbs would get stuck. I wanted to be like Gandalf the Grey – chasing dragons and working with dwarfs to find a hidden treasure.

This was a time when I had never heard of the word humility. I was arrogant as hell and drunk on my intellectual prowess. I was ambitious and aggressive and a complete orifice in the posterior.

She changed all that – changed me for the better. And I changed her. It was like ‘Taming of the Shrew’. Three years it lasted and then fizzled away. I finally understood what Eliot meant in The Hollow Men –

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper

The news of her getting hitched is going to make me a long hard look at all my affairs (of the heart and of the skin). And boy there are a lot of them! I realised that she was the only one ever who truly anchored me to reality. With a fertile mind like mine I had always preferred the world of my imagination over reality. But she proved to me that there were things even Chubby (her nickname for my mind – the size of a football field) couldn’t imagine. And she was right, as usual. But she left. And Chubby came back to haunt me.

Since then I have been trying to find other anchors. Maybe I found better anchors, but let them slip away as they didn’t live up to my expectations, which thanks to Chubby are very high. I realised that I was suffering from the Archie complex. The Betty Coopers of the world have been around me, but I have been desperately trying to find my Veronica Lodge.

I realised what true love is all about. It’s about mutual co-dependence. When each other’s presence in our lives is as crucial as the air we breathe, then we are in love. As usual the truth dawns, but a little too late.

Ah! Enough mush for a day. Need to go indulge in some bacchanalian revelry as I dodged a bullet which could have killed me.
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Comic Books : A Personal recollection

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Suppose you are a shy kid and don’t like human interaction much and in your house lots of people come and go, then you just sit inside your room and wait for them to leave the house so that you don’t have to give replies to their god-forsaken questions.

But what you do locked up in a room? If you have a sibling you talk to him / her but there is a limit to what people can talk to each other. In this situation, imagine if your parents are intellectuals then your houses are filled up with lots of books, magazines and papers. When you are young, you don’t care much about the world and nation affairs, you care about the comic book snippets, crosswords and puzzles in their supplement. That’s how I entered the world of comic books. But with snippets in the papers and magazines, to know the complete story you have to wait 2-3 months as they only have 4-5 scenes per day. And if you are blessed with impatience, then your next logical step is Comic Books.

I never liked going my village (reason : water of that region doesn’t suit me and I use to get skin infections there) but going to villages is sort of annual pilgrimage in India (till now), so I didn’t had much choice. But traveling was a long affair as it used to take 3 days to go there and I always bought 7-8 comics during that entire trip. And those books were mainly Naagraaj, Super Commando Dhruv, Parmanu and Tiranga. Raj comics was the publisher. I used to think they were the coolest superheroes. But in one summer, we went to Patna to meet my relatives, my aunt’s son had came for holidays from his engineering college back then and he was teaching me how to play bike racing games on PC. That was my entry to the world of video games (but we are going to focus on comic books here, video games in later posts most probably ). One day he was watching a movie on HBO, the display screen was black, someone was jumping here and there in a cool car with cape, Jim Carrey was being Jim Carrey in a green tight fitting suit and Tommy Lee Jones was dating two beautiful ladies. Nicole Kidman became my first love of my life. I would still like to marry her if she wants to marry someone 20 years younger than her. So I went and sat with him and I saw Batman Forever. That incident introduced me to the wonderful world of DC comics. After that I asked my parents to subscribe to HBO and Star Movies at home. And began watching all the movies day in day out. I watched James Bond’s movies, Steel, Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Centurion, Spider-Man, Iron Man and the list goes on. So Marvel Comics also happened. And in the holidays, I began to found out sitting and reading comics.

I started to find out the basic idea differences between DC and Marvel. DC is more realistic and true to engage your dark thoughts about the realism and the world. Marvel is about the Happy-go-lucky guys who sometimes get into difficult situations. In the same time, while on a trip to Tirupati, I read Karna’s and Rabindranth Tagore’s biographical graphic novel by Amar Chitra Katha.

That was my introduction to the world of Graphic novels. Definitions abound (a quick search on the internet will show you that), and are often confusing and contradicting. The Americans started calling this medium Graphic Novels and the Japanese Gekiga to differentiate it from comics and manga. It covers fiction as well as non-fiction, but is clearly meant for a mature audience. It’s all encompassing when it comes to genres. And its impact on pop-culture cannot be ignored.

So day by day, my obsession to these characters and storyline grew by leaps and bounds. I used to go through all the wiki and whatever I could find to learn about them.

With age, my fascination with sequential art remained undeterred and I felt myself gravitating towards stories of a higher literary calibre, told with an economy of words and deftness of brush strokes. These were stories that painted a broad canvas of human emotions in a way that I found very different from the more conventional text-only prose.

I had come a long way since then. Read a lot of comics, graphic novels, Mangas. With these books, I think English has become my first and go-to language. Now even I dream in English also.

Now a days I am reading The Dark Knight III The Master Race . Frank Miller and his talented team is bringing out the real depth in the Batman story line.

Now I believe I had given you enough motivation to start reading Graphic Novels. Fans of Tarantino and Rodriguez would love to read Lone Wolf and Cub – a staggering epic created by writer Kazuo Koike and artist Goseki Kojima in the seventies. These 28 volumes of manga (a total of 8700+ pages) are set in Tokugawa era Japan and tell the tale of a master swordsman and his young son. This masterpiece has served as an inspiration for some of the most brilliant moments in world cinema over the last 30 years.

Based on Paul Auster’s story City of Glass (from his acclaimed The New York Trilogy), City of Glass: The Graphic Novel serves as a successful example of an adaptation carried out by independent artists of a previously published piece of prose. David Mazzucchelli and Paul Karasik’s artwork takes the story to a dimension the original author could have never imagined possible.

And then there is A Contract with God by Will Eisner, the book that cemented the term Graphic Novel into modern lexicon. It is a collection of short stories set in a Depression-era-affected Jewish community of the 1930s.

Other interesting titles for collectors – Blankets by Craig Thompson, Bone by Jeff Smith, The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Akira by Katsuhiro Otomo, Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi and Maus by Art Spiegelman.

But make sure you read Sandman by Neil Gaiman. I still hadn’t gone through it but it is on my list. After the college, it is becoming little tough as most graphic novels are printed and published abroad they can leave a sizeable hole in your pocket. And I have lots of bills to play.

So, go to a bookstore and give them a try. They aren’t bad and they are miles better than the cartoons of today like Chota Bheem. Rahul Gandhi likes Chota Bheem and you don’t want that your kid also ends up like Rahul Gandhi.
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Now the regular sections.
Music videos which is on my Playlist now a days.
Tu Mera Nahin

Ghost Town : Madonna feat Taylor Swift

In other news,
My faith in humanity is shaken. Aargh!

I , Me and Myself

Okay, the title of this blog post is amusing enough to get your attraction. If it isn’t, then please fuck off. As it isn’t for you. This is very close to me that’s why I am not going to share it on my social media and will give it to only those who I think deserves to read this.

It is a short memoir ; so it is going to full of rants (my favourite pass time activity) and loathing (to myself and to the world). Don’t read it if you can’t digest the truth (from my eyes). Language is going to be rough as I speak that day in day out.

Let’s begin the showdown. It is going to be in the form of an Interview . I love giving interviews , it doesn’t matter what type of interview would that be. For me when you meet someone for the first time, it is an interview as you both are trying to dig up the facts so that you can judge each other to decide on the Right Swipe or the Left Swipe (Tinder reference,bitch). And it is me interviewing myself.

Question : Why I decided to write one knowing that I am no one in the crowd and I hadn’t done anything significant till now?
Answer : We are living in a world where there are no real good models and whoever is there, they have no interest in helping you to get your shit together and with the rise of internet penetration , we have torrents. And what do we do with that? We go to IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes and search for the highest rated shows and then we see them. Why do we do that? Because they all have “alpha” males who are working on the blurry line between white and black to build their life. We have

Walter White , Harvey Specter , Bobby Axelrod , Hannibal Lecter and Dexter Morgan

(there are many, but these are on my mind right now).What do they have in common? They all built their lives themselves from the ashes.And we want to be them and that’s why an interrogation is needed to decide whether we are worthy of becoming something like them or not and this will be sort of that thing.

Question : Background ?
Answer : I have a family who built their life themselves without taking any shit from what other people think about them. First I will talk about my mother.It all started when my great grandfather came to Jamshedpur to start a life with his family in 1936. He started working at Tata Steel. He had 2 sons and 4 daughters. His eldest son is my grandfather , so we will focus on him only. His wife died when his childrens were quite young. My grandfather was in Class 10 then and his siblings were very young. He was a very bright student, yet he decided to join Tata Steel in 1957 to support the family with his father. He joined as an Artisan Trainee and retired as Manager – Quality Assurance in 1998. In between that he completed his engineering in mechanical engineering by studying in the evening classes provided by Tata Steel in 8 years. In his batch they started with 50 students but only 8 students completed . He was studying along with his full-time day job with ensuring that his children and siblings get the proper education. And he succeeded in it. My mother has 2 PostGraduate degrees and my uncles are well established in their areas of work. Now about my father, he was very young when his parents died. He was 2 when his mother passed away and 16 when his father passed away. His uncle took him under his tutelage and made sure he and his sisters get the proper education. My father had almost spent his entire student life in hostels studying and giving tutions for the education fees , all that by himself. He also has a PG degree. And my father and mother got married in 1987 and then came me and my sister and they all made sure that we both get proper education and all the things which will enable us to fight the world to claim what is ours. So they built their empires themselves and me and my sister are making ours now.

Question : Education ?
Answer : An average student all my life but with a great intuition and eye for detail in the smallest of things. That made me good in Maths and all that required Skill and Creativity. Learnt drawing for few years(4 years to be exact) but the problem came when I can’t create anything by my own but became extremely good in understanding other’s work and present it in a way which the creator wouldn’t have thought. I was good with colors and right now that helps me in figuring out the filters when posting images (Instagram reference). On the school side , I was doing what I caught my attention and then come my engineering years. Those 4 years were a complete turmoil for me. And they changed me for the bad. If given another chance, I will never visit that place again, it is never in my good thoughts. I lost more there than I recieved from there.

Question : Upbringing ?
Answer : Pretty awesome. I had my fair share of the all the activities which one should have. I became a sociopath as the environment in which I was growing up had no one of my age. Either they were much older than me or they were much younger and I adjusted to that. It was a Mafia feeling. But that thing made me a disabled person when dealing with persons of my age. It affected me in the college. I had all my friends who were senior to me and that’s why I don’t have a single meaningful relationship with my batchmates, it is just “Hi-Bye”.

Question : Friends ? Girlfriends ?
Answer : I don’t know. I don’t have time for other’s bullshit. There are few but we all are busy in our lifes , I think. But we all know we are there for each other when we need each other. I had quiet a few girlfriends but nothing worked out as our thinking didn’t matched with each other. In some cases I was more progressive and in some cases she was more. Hoping to meet someone who is on the same page with me. Fingers crossed though.

Question : What was the main reason for the breakups?
Answer : I did somethings of which I am not proud of but I think that was the correct things to do at that time. And I am not a strong believer of marriages. So I think breakup was already on the cards in the beginning of those relationships.

Question : Class ?
Answer : Yes, for me class is important. But it is a very objective viewpoint. People say that the clothes I wear shows my class which is nothing but I feel pity for them. They think wearing brands makes them classy but it isn’t class and “class” is something else. For me it is : wearing clean cloths , presentable looks and “a beautiful mind”. Because the looks are going to fade away with age. George Clooney and Nicole Kidman are only ones last time I checked who still are awesome as they were at the start of their careers . But with “a beautiful mind” you can always be graceful and most important you know what is important and what needs your attention. Because we are living in a world where we have access to all the information and we are in need of a filter to get the relevant ones and that filter comes from your education or my grandfather calls it “common sense” , which is not at all common now a days.

Question : Role models?
Answer : Quite a few. I don’t want to name them. But we all are pretty close at the time of need.

Question : Career?
Answers : I always thought that we were destined for greater things. I see my friends around me and I see so much talent. But all seems to be going to waste. Not that we don’t have time or resources for doing other things(artistic or intellectual). But the moment I try doing something new, something out of the ordinary I start thinking about its use to my future. I have started looking at all things through this screen of materialistic instincts. I miss the time when I could do something just for the heck of it. Now everything has to be a part of this larger master-plan. All this makes me think — Where did I go wrong? Maybe these issues will sort themselves out.

Question : God?
Answers : I don’t believe in it as I never found any help when it was needed. But I am trying to believe in the Angel therapy. It is a matter of time before I fully believe in one.

Question : Strength?
Answer : Compulsive obsession to get the things done. And learn things as quickly as possible. Thinking on the feet.

Question : Weakness?
Answer : I analyze things too much. On the work side it is a boon but on the personal side it is bane.

Question : Are you ambitious?
Answer :
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Question : You want me to ask more?
Answer : Fuck you. I am done.

The year(s) that were…

Another year is coming to an end. And I am sad. I am sad because I didn’t really make this one count. For that matter I haven’t made the last 23 years count either. Everyday I go to sleep, not because I am tired and exhausted by the day’s work, but because I have nothing better to do. I don’t remember the last time I slept after being completely spent and used; each and every muscle of my body aching for some respite from the hard work. I don’t remember the last time I said out loud, “That is a good day’s work. I need some rest now.” There are no accomplishments since there are no goals. I am just hanging on to one last ray of hope – the confidence that I am on the right path – the path that leads to being satisfied at the end of the day. That is the goal of my otherwise goal-less life: to sleep when I am exhausted because of the day’s work.

Let me start by giving an account of what has happened since last 2 year.
  • 2 Breakups.
  • Messed up life at Office.
  • Almost nothing significant programming.
  • No concept went from drawing board to implementation.
  • Lots of Lamenting.
  • 4 times bankruptcy.
  • Met some very horrible people.(Praying for you guys to ROT in hell)

In short : Health gone, Wealth gone and Mind gone.

The last 2 years had also been fruitful in few ways and those few ways are going to decide the next coming years will be.

 In the last few weeks , I was doing some research on :
        1. Performance Testing/Engineering
        2. Javascripts and JQuery.
        3. Human Computer Interaction.
        4. To MBA or Not to MBA?

Performance Testing/Engineering isn’t that bad as I was told early on.They said bad things about it because they don’t know a single thing about it and also have no interest in learning about it. They are just swimming with the flow that only “development” jobs are good. God save you guys , because I am now tired of explaining things to you. It would be nice if you open your eyes and read some REAL things and try to understand it if you can/are able to.

Javascript is the father of the Front end design frameworks. JQuery gets the “shit done”, so you can’t ignore it even if you want to.Frameworks like AngularJS , EmberJs , BackboneJS,(god knows the complete list as till this blog post is completed, few more will be born by exploiting Javascript). I can go on and on ranting about it but you aren’t going to listen , so let’s hear the rants from a well known Front End guy ,

Mr Harish Sivaramakrishnan

I like programming and love technology from early on but what is the use of all that if people aren’t using it. There Human Computer Interaction comes into play. It is a very big thing and I can’t summarize it in few lines. So you can go to these links and give yourself some good food for thoughts.

 

MBA is a controversial topic for me. Every morning I want to do it and everyday before dozing off I decides MBA is for the people who can’t do anything on their own. I may be wrong , I may be right. But I have seen a hell lot of people to whom MBA didn’t help a lot and I still have to meet someone who can truly justify to me MBA was worthwhile to them.

So its high time that I strike back. 2016 here I come in  21 days.

It is almost time to make some New Year resolutions. And this could take some time as deciding practical things takes time. So I’ll leave you with these thoughts:

The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn’t.

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But more than that shoot out to the Egg Biryani Girl who has a million-dollar smile whom I saw five times in the last seven days.It is my firm belief that this is the Universe’s way of telling me to wake up and do something about my life. Opportunity has knocked on my door a number of times, it has even gatecrashed into my life’s boring party a number of times but I have been too dumb-witted to recognize it. Anthony Hopkins said in ‘Meet Joe Black’: Lightning may strike. And I have been waiting a long time for lightning to strike. But it hasn’t.

How not to get things done?

Yes, it is going to be quite a messy article.

But what is the motive to write this one if it is going to be a messy ?

Because few days back , I didn’t had anything to do and was confused where I am going on in my life (introspection : my favorite pass time activity.) So I started watching Game Of Thrones (finally , as I don’t prefer watching anything which destroys the original substance by modifying it according to the marketing people to keep up the TRP , but “marta kya na karta !”) and suddenly the thought of this post came up.

And it doesn’t hurt in once in a while to write a truthful-realistic letter to yourself to get your beliefs straight. And it is mostly that , I suppose.

Why am I writing it ?

Simple, I have a fair good record of not getting things done. I leave them by completing it 80-90% because of the following reasons. And there are lots of articles on “How to get things done !” and they all are written by super optimistic persons , so I thought let’s give it a Realistic treatment and I started drawing out inferences from my life to find out the reasons which didn’t allowed me or disturbed me to get derailed from the path.

On the upfront , these are the few reasons :

  1. Procrastination
  2. Friends (disclaimer : not all of them)
  3. Lack of focused attention
  4. Over marketing of yourself.

1. Procrastination :
It is basically “play a waiting game”. Waiting game , here is the work in your hand and  playing , is delaying it by thinking let’s research some more on this thing so that we can churn out a more finished product. What are you , huh , Apple ? Even they don’t churn that good stuff.
Follow this link to see the real face of Apple .

and

Note : I don’t hate Apple ; I just don’t like it. Overpriced Beautiful Stuffs.

Be Microsoft . Put a product out and then keep on updating it ; people like updating , we are used to it thanks to Microsoft.

2. Friends (disclaimer : not all of them) :
Yes , believe it or not. Not all are your wellwishers and they had just put up a poker face in front of you because they want to enjoy seeing you fail. No , you hadn’t done anything wrong to them , but you are a part of a lineage and not everyone is appreciative of the achievements of your fathers and forefathers and when they compare their life with them , they get angry and jealous and then there you are , still building your legacy and that makes you an easy target and boom, you will see and hear a lot of things from them which will derail you from doing your required things as you will start spending time lamenting and thinking about the things which they made you feel is true but in reality they aren’t. They are “the wolves dressed as rabbits”.

3. Lack of focused attention :
You are not focused. You may say that you are focused but take a moment to think on what are you focused ? Answer will be “on the end results” . The correct answer should be “on the process to reach the end result”.

You should always know “what the end result should be ” but always focus on the “processes to reach the end result ” as they are basic building blocks. You don’ t just sow the seeds of onions to reap potatoes by thinking that there will be potatoes because you want it to be potatoes. So think about it.

4. Over marketing of yourself
Yes , you do it a lot. You just talk about yourself , your past achievements and your lineage achievements.

Let’s dissect it.

If you have to talk about or tell about yourself to everyone , then you are probably not what you think of yourself.
If you talk about your past achievements , then please note down this thing :”past performance doesn’t guarantee future success”.
If you relish your lineage achievements , you shouldn’t do that. They hadn’t indulge in those things, only then they can get things done.

I think the above mentioned points sums it all up nicely and you probably know what needs to be done to get things done.

Revelations…

Yesterday, thanks to my improper eating routine,  I hit the rock bottom , again and it made me realize that to keep my experiments in check if I want to remain healthy in the future. But the aftereffects is going to take its time before fading away completely.

So why I am telling you all this? Because of that I woke up at 3 AM and had nothing to do.  So I started reading about

Machiavelli

. Last month I was reading the book The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene and there was quite a lot of mention of this word and though I didn’t knew the exact meaning of the word then , but I guessed the meaning partially correct. So I googled it and read about it.

There I got introduced to the

Dark Triad

of the personality and spent the entire night reading about it finally dozing off at 6 AM as I need to go to office also.

the-dark-triad

It is an interesting thing to learn about.

The dark triad is a group of three personality traits: Narcissism ,Machiavellianism and Psychopathy.

So what are these, basically?

  1. Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity,pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy.
  2. Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and deception.
  3. Psychopathy is characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callousness, and remorselessness.

Dark-Triad

So after reading about it, I did my favorite job. ( My experiments with The Beautiful Mind still give me shivers). Started experimenting on my Personality on those basis.

Let’s first take narcissism.
I am a partial. If I am friends with someone, I will be a good friend but even on the slight mistake from the other party that result in the breaking of the trust, I completely lose my empathy and delete that person from everywhere. And given the chance I can make their life a perfect imitation of hell and when my hammer is going to fall on them, they just can’t expect or plan anything as I know all the variables pretty well. I have a pretty good timing. This behavior of mine shows that I have an ego and I am proudy. And I have no shame in telling that as “what is true, is true”.

Now let’s go to machiavellinism.
Early on in my school days, I had problems trusting people, so I began analysing them and became a somewhat good reader of one’s character. And what I had expected of them, they keep on proving me right (always) . Though I used to give them chances but people never changes their true character. Some people will disagree with me counter stating that I judged some people wrong and put myself in danger but I already knew that and willingly took a chance with them but I knew from the beginning who is going to disappoint me and who is going to amaze me. And the only reason I allowed that to happen was because I wanted to see its effect on me. My those chances gave me the life experiences which a person would take a lot of time to gain and some people will never ever experience it also. Then why did I take those chances?
BECAUSE I can bounce back from anything and had bounced back a number of times from very bad situations. And I am proud of that.
So how does that relate to Machiavellinism?
Because if someone is that good at bouncing back from situations, i had always engineered my relationship-ends as i didn’t found them satisfying or valuable anymore. Yes I hurt the other person in the process but they didn’t gave me any other choice. I got hurt in the process but I keep on bouncing back and started working on the NEXT thing.
I am good at engineering (it includes reverse engineering also) and that extends to my social life.

Now psychopath.
Yes, I have been called that a lot of times in my life. But if having intense focus on the end goal of one’s life is labelling psychopath, I am ready to accept that. I have some dreams and I need them desperately so I will do anything to get them.
And who is not a psychopath?
Lots of successful people I had met and known in my life are Psychopath and they don’t deny it as the people who don’t have the courage to pursue their dreams label the others, psychopath.

So , I may be not a Good Boy afterall. But who cares about that as long as I am getting things done.

Dark-Triad

On a funnier note to end this , I give you this:

Psychopath cartoonic description

Motive of this post:

SS , what happened between us is not your fault entirely. It was a planned exit and you should stop berating yourself and start living life NORMALLY.

PP , you were never an experiment and never will be. You are an integral part of my life and will continue to be.

Paradoxical Excuses…

So, it has been 1 month and 1 week ( approx ) since I wrote something here which is a clear violation of the rule of ” 1 post per week”, also set by me. So now I am going to lay out all my excuses of why I didn’t write in that period. The same thing can be viewed as the status report ( thanks CTS for bringing the concept of “status report” in my life ) of where I was busy those days.

Professional side excuses :

Where CTS is taking me, I am still clueless as I didn’t have been allotted a fixed plan of my responsibilities at the work. So within 1 month, I had gained a good working knowledge of LoadRunner, Ruby, JavaScript, Analytics and a very basic idea of Python.

Experimented with the food at office a lot, which costed me a lot of stomach pains.

Lessons learnt : What looks good, is not always good ; this applies in the food also.

Social life in the office is nearly 0 as I am too busy in hustling here and there. But i need to keep a tab on it by searching a platform so that I can stick to it.

Though I had made some nice friends but all because of mutual connections so as long nothing is starting from the scratch, it doesn’t matter a lot. But it matters significantly.

Personal side excuses :

I am back with my girl P ; thanks Mr A for the advice. I will try to keep my mood swings in check.

Read a lot of books. Some are “finished” and some are the “in progress”. Last month, I bought so much books that I practically lose sight of time and space to focus on one book and ended up on spending a lot of everything on them.

List :
1. The 48 laws of power by Robert Greene.
2. Think like a freak by Steven D Levitt and Stephen J Dubner.
3. The art of seduction by Robert Greene.
4. Simple Rules : How to thrive in a complex world by Donald Sull and Kathleen M Eisenhardt .
5. Thus Spake Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche.
6. Mastery by Robert Greene.
7. Gamification by Design by Gabe Zichermann and Christopher Cunningham.

Went with college-friends-now-colleagues on a short trip to Nandi Hills and Skandgiri Hills. The whole trip was OK other than some chutzpah of one stupid idiot. But it can be ignored.

(Yes, now I can handle a lot of stupidity simultaneously. This is what I wanted to learn from early on but CTS taught me that in 1 month.)

The images on my trip can be viewed from this link ( if you are any interested which i will assume you are not).

Link :
https://goo.gl/photos/kzKpaRYTH7DdinYQA

That’s all of my excuses, Now I have to run as I have to go to office also.

Random Funny pics I found on the net…

X men cartoon :

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I DON’T KNOW cartoon :

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Parents – Children relationship…

Note : Parent refers to my father, mother, grandfather and grandmother.

It may be the randomest thing / topic on which I am taking the pleasure to bore  you and by random, I mean, the topic came to me accidentally while I was analysing my surrounding as I was forced to be engaged in an activity in which I had lost interest early in my life.

I, hope, my sister will agree to this interpretation of our ( me + her ) upbringing by our parents.

I am about to write it in the format of  essay which I used to strictly follow till my Class 12th , first points and then their descriptions.

Now, points :
1. Be realistic.
2. Don’t have wrong expectations.
3. Stop fooling around.
4. EARN everything.

In the above mentioned 4 points, I suppose everything will be covered nicely.

Now, to their descriptions.
1. Be realistic.
Now what does that mean? Let me clearly state that being realistic doesn’t mean being pessimistic. It means judging the surrounding and considering every factors while making a decision about anything. The most important thing that we were taught that you should give your best and then be optimistic that someday you will get the desired result when it will be necessary. Not every action has an immediate result.  Some takes time and when it happens, it will be worth the wait. So have patience and let the things happen as they are happening.

2. Don’t have wrong expectations.
People are complicated. Some are good. Some are bad. And some are grey in nature. Most people will never help you unless they have a hidden motive. So when dealing with people, we should keep our feets on the ground, no matter what the situation may be and try to be good to everyone because good things happens to good people. But be careful because not people are good and they are mostly like the big bad wolf in the old fable story Red Riding hood. So be careful before expecting something from peoples as you will not like when that expectations break.

3. Stop fooling around.
This may be the hardest lesson they taught us. Our parents may have wealth, all the facilities, educational achievements but they are not meant to be inherited and we are not going to inherit them at any cost. At max, we  will inherit the wealth and then what, we are not capable of maintaining it and we will exhaust it and then we are at zero again. So we should be try to be able to handle all the situations and to do that, we should first learn to stop fooling around and follow this process : see, analyse, filter and learn. That way we will experience lot of situations and learn about and from that.

4. EARN everything.
Don’t ever expect any thing free from the life. Everything has a price and we have to pay it, willingly or unwillingly. I remember lot of times, when we were children and we have to engage in an interesting conversation with them to prove that we actually need it. If we proved this, good we will get that or else it is better to forget about it as our tantrums will not take us far. At that point it was frustrating but now it all made sense. Earning things makes us realise its value and we will do our  best to preserve it and while doing the effort to earn something makes one responsible and that is an important point to be considered when you are raising a kid. And it makes one learn to humbly accept win and politely embrace failures. And learning to embrace the failure, makes one mature in life. Although lots of factors goes to the maturity, but it can be said as the foundation of one’s character. You don’t want to make a kid, so soft that everytime someone tests his / her mettle, he / she starts crying and ran back to the home.

I suppose I was lucky to have them, though it took time to realise it.

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Indulgence….

Indulgence is a funny thing and is known to us as addiction (in context) and has a very biased interpretation.

While addiction is considered bad and wrong,  people boast about their Indulgences.

Is it right?
I don’t know as I have indulged in lots of things, from the time I remember. It was a lot of things and I paid for that, with my everything.

Indulgence is vanity…  Vanity is sin…
But sins are fun, isn’t it?

I have my fair share of Indulgences (or addiction, as you may like to call it) in my life. But they didn’t last long. They were short termed.

As far as I remember, clearly,  first one was eating Jaljeera. I ate that so much that I ended up in hospital with jaundice. That was a very bad experience ( imagine eating boiled food for almost 2 months and stomach ache, phew).
Then came the turn of Milky bar choo. I started on it because I needed tattoos but soon my focus changed from tattoos to the Milky bar choo.
Then came the turn of Dairy milk shots and Nuggets ( I still love Nuggets and i still can’t control myself, if I see it anywhere.).
Then came the turn of some serious addictions and that costed me my health and even admittance in the emergency unit of the hospital and that too at the time of my college placements and I lost much more than ever. But now,  I am good, sober and decent. Though I enjoy it sometimes,  but it is under control.

But the danger, now a days, is my addiction of Donuts and Chicken Biryani (Veg Biryani doesn’t count in the Biryani family as it is just a marketing game to earn money from vegetarians and Mutton Biryani, never had a decent one till now). I just can’t resist the temptation of Donuts and Chicken Biryani though sometimes it hurts a lot . In my current city, Bengaluru, i had relished Biryani at nearly all popular food joints and some I loved and some I hated and wanted to chop the head of the cook for destroying the Feeling of Biryani. No one can mess with the Biryani lovers. We have feelings, too.

I had Donuts for the first time last year and didn’t enjoy much but last month I not only enjoyed it, I fell in love with it. Krispy Kreme, stop making donuts, you are not good, not at all good. Mad over Donuts, step up and compete with Dunkin Donuts. I like you more than Dunkin, Mad over Donuts. Please step up the game.

Damn, even writing about it made me hungry.

Blog Courtesy : Mrs Shubhra Verma ( mamiji)

Flings….

It is a delusion state of mind which shows you a lots of fantasies and then  throws a wreaking ball of realities at your face.

I am 24 and i think i had enough experience of this.  Every relationship was a good experience which taught a lot about life,  people and most importantly expectations.

Expectations starts almost everything and ends absolutely everything.

It came up suddenly.  I was talking to a friend,  watching a so called horror movies whose experience can be easily described by this tweet of mine (Check out @abhinav_grv’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/abhinav_grv/status/609970474668285952?s=09) and going through a blog (it was more of a life journal than a blog),  i realized till now 4 happened and only 2 ended on a happy note from my side and 2 from the other’s side. But in all that we grow as a human being.  Not everything that starts well,  ends well usually. Last time I checked,  smart ones have sorted out their life and rest are just still lost in life as i thought about them. But it’s their life,  afterall.

People at the start have different expectations and as it changes in due time it ends up things.

Don’t know what is in the store for me but now “dots connects up in the end” seem to be a lot true on some side of the life but what about the rest,  huh???

I need a flashpoint paradox in my life….