Demonic Voices


So again this happened. I had decided and reminded myself again and again that I have to write twice a month and if in any case I can’t, at least one post should be out. But life took a bizarre turn (again) and I didn’t respected my decision of writing also. It is very common for me to not respect others whenever there is a clash of ideologies between us. I am not proud of it and also not ashamed of it. 

Life took a bizarre turn and all my plans went to the drain(again) and I have to make some new plans as per the new context. And my closed ones will get to know about it soon.

Someone rightly said, Life has its own way of finding its way.

So after stepping out of the cocoon and some experiences(good and bad), I have come to this understanding of life and how to live in it.

There is a trap that we fall into as to what possibilities in life could have emerged if I had done some things a certain way. But I think it’s always a wise approach to take life as it comes through and always optimising for the process that you follow rather than the goal you set out to be.

I have lots to write but don’t want to write them. 

Somethings are better left unsaid.

I had read this poem somewhere sometime back and I don’t remember the exact lines but I do remember the context of it and right now I am feeling the same, so I tried to reproduce it and let me know how is it.

Demonic Voices

The voices in my head just told me –
You are never coming back

We spent some good times together
You and me, me and you.

But the voices drove you crazy
And so you went far away.

Far away into the void of nothingness
Where your own imagination

Does not revolt and bite you in the ass.
Where the phantoms of your dead neurons

Don’t trouble you in the middle of night
While you are fighting the minions

Of the ancient gods of Valhalla.
Damn! Damn these voices.

I should have drowned them long back
In a small puddle of creative fungus

Which is now so cheaply available,
In large cans made of tin at the mart.

I should have gone away with you
And left this comfortable numbness behind.

No one would have wept
I assure you, except a few

They would have written an obituary,
Not for me, but for those wretched voices.

You were the only one, who knew me,
Who had peeled all the lairs and found me

Buried deep within myself. My own voice
Muffled by those who wanted to reign supreme.

You were the only one who heard me and my voices.
But you have now gone far away,

I remember everything about you
But will never see you awake.

Only in the land of dreams
Did you appear before me.

I remember your every curve
But I know you are not coming back

The voices drove you away
They wanted me for themselves.

They have won,
And we have lost.

Videos :


The Times They Are A-Changin

I don’t remember where and when I heard this song for the first time but the tune and the words got stuck in my mind. At that time, I didn’t knew it was Bob Dylan’s. Later on in college, I discovered it and since then I became a fan of him.

No, this post is not about that song. It is just the title. And the title needs to be clear. The song is used as a metaphor to depict the changes which are going on around me, which I am going to tell you in the coming paragraphs.

It’s been a while and by while I mean about last 3 months. Things were tough. Lots of things were happening at the office and I was at my wit’s end to comprehend what was happening and in that moment, lots of things were taking place simultaneously and it was just impossible for me to keep a tab on all of it. But those times hopefully have ended and I resigned from Cognizant few weeks back. There were two options in front of me then. I was in final stages of my company change and simultaneously was in the process of getting admitted in a post graduate program. It isn’t a two year or one year program but a 6 month program and it is a joint venture between a popular game engine company and a renowned MBA college. I applied there and after 2-3 rounds of interviews and tests, I was waiting for the results. And the results came back positive. And now there is 80% chance that I am going to join the program as I wanted a substantial background to enter a game/ design studio and the folks at home wanted me to go for further study. So this is a good option for me and my folks. Everyone will be happy. And who knows, after this, I may actually go for a full time program. But who knows, what lies on the other end of the road. This abrupt decision has one big implication : I was planning to get myself a normal and decent second hand 150cc bike this year and next year, a Triumph Street Triple. I am in love with this bike and this is the only bike which I hadn’t crashed till now. That’s a nice thing because I am very good at crashing things especially bikes.

Triumph Street Triple

I don’t have much to write this time. Because nothing exciting happened which can be put down to words. There were lots of running here and there, office work load was at it’s peak and at the same time I was interviewing at startups and product companies. I planned to change the direction of my career this January only and I realized apart from good bonuses and good times, I wasn’t going anywhere in my career. When you have are over 35, you may want to settle down a bit and take things lightly but when you have just started working and if you have some support, then you can take some risks and you must take it. Because if the chicken will not cross the road, the chicken will never know what lies on that side of the road. And the other side of the road for me is a startup or a product company. I wished to join a fast pace work environment where I believe I would be trusted to try out my ideas on User Experience. By the way, I suck at Visual Design because I just don’t get (understand) colors like my peers. And that thing could only happen at startups and product companies. For that thing to happen in a service company, you really need a lot of good lucks on your side. And on the other hand, it is very difficult to teach people that Visual Design is just a small part of UX Design. Okay, last line was little bit out of the context.

Visual Design is a part of User Experience Design.

UI is not same as UX.

The last two lines are also out of the context.

So, I spent 2.8 years at Cognizant and this being my first company wasn’t what I expected my first job to be but still first time is always invaluable in one’s life. Generally it happens that you are hired for one particular role and you end up doing that only but with me, things got crazy than usual and I ended up working on different technologies in different domains and with every new assignment there was a complete unknown terrain for me to learn, fail and succeed. Sometimes, it got very frustrating but sometimes those experiences came in handy to tackle various situations.

There were good times and bad times. There were lots of good people and horrible people. But the thing that worked out in my favor was whoever person I met and worked taught me a lots of lessons. So you can say that a lot of people mentored me on life. Some in a good way and some in a bad way.

Now a new journey is about to start and let’s see where life will take me. The details be on the Facebook and Twitter at the right time from the right place.

So, at last I will share few of my favorite Bob Dylan songs.

The way of life. 

Okay, this is definitely a new thing which is I am going to try out with this post. Thanks Siddhant for your advice to share how I see the world with my perspective.
Last week, I got some time off and I decided to catch up on my old friends and we made a plan for bacchanalian revelries. That’s how we bonded, we shared love for beers and abstract conversations.
So what happened there?

He asked had you lost some weight? I replied life sucks and is mess on all 7 days. Office and classes are in full throttle. He : What classes are you taking? Me : User Experience Design. I showed him some of my student’s assignments and he was like ” Do someone really have to attend a class to learn all these things?” Me : I know things but I don’t know it’s origination point and Companies do prefer Certificates and Degrees though they claim to be out looking for people with right attitude and passion.
We both knew this is the harsh reality and we can’t ignore it and we aren’t in a position to do anything about it but hopefully one day, we will be and we will do the right thing.
As we were meeting after 2 months, we had lots of things to talk about. Then we started talking about my last post and we discussed how people confuse their personal life and social life with each other. I wanted to write about a different thing here this time but this itself is a cool concept and I would like to talk about it and as it is a very short thing so it can’t be a full blown post. But it is very fundamental.
People have two lives. Personal life and Professional life.

Personal life is again divided into two :Private life and Social life.

Professional life is again divided into two :Friends and colleagues.

Some people are lucky and they have same people for all those 4 sectors but they are rare. I only know two such people.

But what about the majority?
We fail badly in balancing them out and end up being depressed. So balancing them is the key for a better life.
But how?

It’s all about peoples, time management and getting your priorities straight. It’s all about setting boundaries between all those 4 sectors or you life will be messed up.

Just imagine these 2 situations :

  • Your private life is now your social life and all your private things are out in the public.
  • You told something to your colleagues instead of your friends and they do what they are best at : backstabbing.

Both of these 2 situations can lead to a lot of troubles. But there can be lots of permutations and combinations for scenarios among above mentioned 4 sectors on how you can fuck up your life if the right boundaries aren’t there.
It is a great topic to be discussed and maybe in the future, there might be a post about it too. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed.

Now back to the topic.

Some disclaimers :

  • It might be not true for all but this is what I have observed in me and my friends in the time we have shared with each other.
    For A+ colleges, I didn’t went there so I don’t know about them. But their life post college is just as same as ours.
  • And it is not about those also who spent their 4 years in library and in their rooms without even trying out different things.

Now again the real thing.
You might have guessed I am going to talk about the life of an engineer. If don’t, don’t worry, it’s not a bible or a doctrine on life.
Sometime back, I got mid life crisis (again) and decided to take a break to figure out things. And I decided I don’t want to be in engineering any more. I have been doing programming since 2006. Got my first PC back in 2005 and soon I was churning out codes in Basic, Html and Css. I was expert in commercializing my skills. So I started doing school projects of my classmates. To learn to type fast, I even typed out the entire book because I didn’t wanted to return the books back to the library. Then changed school and learnt Javascript, C, C++ and advanced Html. Same thing again, I was doing projects for my classmates and making money out of it and having fun figuring out pointers, memory heaps and interactive websites (with not so cool design but extremely optimized backends). Then engineering happened. C, C++, Java, Javascript (Basic + Advanced) , Bootstrap, php and Android. Then got fascinated by the games and started making simple games and did something (5-6) freelancing projects (can’t talk about it, NDA). So the most logical choice was to make games for my final year projects and made 4 games with Javascript frameworks. Initially thought of making it with Unity / Unreal but was lazy so ended up using Javascript frameworks.
And then cognizant happened, learnt Analytics and Performance Engineering. Never worked on Analytics myself but the time I spent at Siddhant’s ODC, I can most probably do that work with little help in the beginning. Did fairly good on Performance side with different protocols (Http/Https, Siebel, Truclient and learning more day by day).

Now let’s see my friends.

1. Ankit is a certified CCNA and he did that on his time. First in our group to go onsite. Way to go bro.

2. Siddhant was one of the best Electrical Engineering students of our college and now he is nailing it in the Analytics. If working for Chelsea isn’t cool, then I don’t know what is ?

3. Keshav was a gifted Product Manager. Despite having a great mind, he was lazy ( i think we all are lazy), he got high grades and churned out great quality codes at last minute and now he is a great Advanced Java developer working in a cool startup. Just waiting for his “khela” as he goes up in the chain and his “khelas” are one of a kind.

4. Deepak is a great singer and along with singing he had enough enough time to kick asses of two departments : Computer Science and Electrical and Electronics Engineering.

And then there are people in my User Experience Class always cribbing about notes, not having enough times to complete assignments and so on. They all are great in different things like visual appreciation, sketching, thinking in terms of artistic value and then I am there with my engineering mind influxed with business acumen who weighs his ideas on numbers and engineering feasibllity. It’s a good thing that UX is a vast domain and can accommodate different peoples too. This made me noticed how engineering had made and changed me and my friends in a better way.
Other than few, not all of them had dreams of becoming engineers.

Keshav had army dreams, Siddhant still dreams of joining Airforce and I dream of becoming a writer. But we all did fairly well in our engineering days and we still are and we will, hopefully in the future as engineering taught us something about life which I didn’t found and noticed in other people who went to other colleges (non engineering colleges). Let me make one thing clear I am not demeaning other colleges but there are somethings which you can only learn in an engineering college. Those things can be learned in other colleges but level of learning is very different. It is just like a player of Call of Duty and Crysis can beat the shit out of the players of Halo and Mass Effect without even blinking their eyes.

1.We are lazy.

2.We are sleep deprived.

3.We are flexible and have and make time(if required) for almost everything.

4.People believes engineers are right brained number and process churning people but man, you don’t even have the slightest idea about how creative and ideative, we can be in the times and situations which can make you wet your pants.

5.We rarely fail in the death race against time and man, we are at our 200% when the deadlines arrive. This happens only when we really care about it or else you can’t even make us to do it ,forget about starting it even.

6.We had studied systems and we had developed a keen sense of observing and can map out anything mathematically in an abstract sense to find a way through it.

7. Large numbers of courses had made us habituated of living in a world of questions and what if situational riddles. We are in love with 5 Ws ( What, When, Why, Which and Who). We loves puzzles and riddles and everything which requires some mental exercise.

8. We know how to use procrastination to our advantage.

9. Our 4 years of engineering was basically a full blown out crash course on how bad the things can go and how to survive it.
So I don’t know how will my career shift happen and will it even happen or not but one thing is clear, I will always be an engineer, no matter in which profession I will be.
Our parents had different reasons to send us to engineering but I will have a different reason and that will be that nothing can prepare you for the world other than 4 years of hostel life at engineering.
So here is to all the engineers (ofcourse not the dumb ones).

Videos for this post :

R-rated Rant !!!

Hi !

This is an R-rated post so enter at your own risk.

A one month gap between posts. Well this is what happens when you mess up with a cry baby sort of middle-aged executive. I am not going into that story, but will give you the context and insight which I learnt from it.

All jobs are good and very few people have the guts to reset their life once in a while. You may be in a job which you like but other’s don’t. It is completely fine and ok. One thing I learned from this “ koi bhi job karo, tumse kuch ukhadne wala toh hai nahin, par kam se kam aadmi ke paas apne choices ko defend karne ke liye toh kuch hona chahiye ! “. Now you can guess the context of that mess up, if you don’t, please go and watch pogo.

Life is pretty much a machine now. All days and time are scheduled and I don’t have any options to take some time off it. It’s just that I made a choice and I have to give it a try. If everything fails, I will do what other respected people in the society do, a MBA.

This writing thing took a backseat because no body cares whether I write or not. I am just writing in vacuum and for me only. I am both the writer and the reader. So that after five years from now, I have something from this time to relish upon and think about. Many people have stories, pictures and moments for that, I don’t have the luxury of all that. I have my posts. Maybe this will be my legacy, a non existential legacy with no value proposition. I am fine with it, actually I learned to accept it and deal with it. No qualms about it, things happen and it will happen whether we like it or not.

So why I decided to write now?
Because I thought getting crashed on MV Agusta F4 RR will help in blowing some of the steam but it didn’t help. I didn’t crash, thank God. On the other hand, I fell in love with it. There has to be something special in that bike that even a person like me who doesn’t know how to ride even a 100cc bike didn’t broke any bones even when he touched 200kmph in Bangalore traffic at peak hour.

So I decided to rant about it. And when you own a domain, you can use it for that, ain’t you?

I am now an sort of option for some. But hey wait, I was always an option for people. That’s not a surprise when I look back at life. I was always an option, not even the primary one in that too.

I don’t have a social life because optional people don’t have it. You call your options when you either need them for something or you don’t have anyone left to socialize with. So optional people don’t have enough avenues or chances for that.

Why I have a non-existent social life? Or why I don’t have friends?

  • I am arrogant as fuck and I will call an asshole, an asshole no matter what and if required on their face too without any second thoughts. That’s how I was raised. And I am proud of it.
  • I am not a people pleasurer person. To be a people person, you need to have your opinions validated by other people so that you can have it. Just imagine, you can have opinion after getting it validated by others.
  • I am not great at anything. I am just an average guy in all spheres of life. And despite being average at everything yourself, you don’t usually hang around with other average joes. People need someone with whom they can feel special and I am not that special creature who can make you feel special.
  • Looks matter. Never seen any good looking person with no friends and zero social life.
  • Doesn’t have much skills and intelligence to do wonders for anyone. So there goes all the things which could have happened in office.
  • I don’t play by other opinion and most of the time, I don’t need much of anyone’s approval to do something which I want to do. So question of bonding with others goes also.
  • I don’t do anything just to be with anyone which I don’t want to do.
  • Most people just gulp down any facts that may be lead to a confrontation but I don’t. I always like to know why you have to lie in the first place. I am fine with liars. Lie but just don’t get caught , will you ?
  • I don’t expect much from people because nobody is what they project themselves onto others.
  • People bond with other people with whom they share certain ideologies and plans and motives and all that comes from the hobbies. I don’t have any so there is nothing with me on which someone can bond with me.

If I continue to write, the list will go on and on. But I am the reader so I know most of things.

And this post is not up for any kind of discussion and if you still want to do, you know where to put those things, ain’t you?

So what now?

Nothing special.

Done with you guys!

And yes, FUCK YOU!

Linear Progression yet Natural

Happy New Year guys…


Hope that this year brings you : new people, new opportunities and new experiences.

You may know how all these things are interconnected but I would like to tell again, bear me on that, please.

Most of the time (doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert) we live in a closed shell of ourselves. We have a created a shell based upon our comfort and bias around us. This shell keeps us safe from the harsh realities of the world. For sometime, it is good for us. Let’s take an example : When you are in middle school and high school , our parents creates it for us to protect us because they know to learn anything completely, you need to be ready. And your parents know when you are ready to take the dive because they have seen the world and they guess the right age for you to go out and take the dive. It is going to be waste : if you learn it early before time or you learn it late after time because you need to have some maturity to learn to walk on the grey side of the complexities of life.  You don’t want your class 1 going child to ask you about sex. If you are an over enthusiastic parent, you may feel your child is on fast track and you are very  proud of his inquisitiveness, but boy, you are going to get a great wall hit on your head in the next 5 years. Get ready for that. Inquisitiveness is good but not before right time.

Okay, so how all the above mentioned three things are connected. They are actually not connected, but they are the natural linear progression of how things work.


New people :

When you meet new people, you actually let your comfort and bias wall down to be open to new events. We don’t always have best thoughts so we need new people. They brings new perspectives to our viewpoint of seeing things. We don’t realise it but we are actually the sum total average of our 5 close peoples who influences you. If you want to learn how to meet new people, I can give you the contact details of one friend , he is the best at it.


New opportunities :

If you don’t leave your shell, and not meet new peoples, then how are you going to see what is happening around you? Please clarify me on this. Okay, you can tell me you read blogs(don’t stop reading mine or I will find you and beat you to pulp ) and news but bro they aren’t everything. You may know what is happening at the global level but you are operating at the local level and only people around you can tell that because they are there. Bill Gates can only tell you where the trend is going but only at the local level, you can learn how it is going.

Demonization is still a lot of hoo-hallah for last 2 months and will continue to be for the next 2-3 months , but in reality it is a complete failure and Modi is just acting like a child who always wants to be in attention and limelight. Just take the example of his 31st December 2016 address to the people. He could have done it in the morning and whatever he had told in it, that content is more suitable for the budget sessions, not for a new year addressal. He just wanted to be on our minds at the New Year eve. Maybe, we were all wrong about him and he is just a Politician, only keeping tabs on his vote bank. It may be, it may be not. Who knows???


Okay, I got deviated. My bad.

When you meet new people, you talk, you converse and you both get to know about each other and there will be somethings in that, which will open up new opportunities for you. And it is completely up to you if you want to take it up or not, no body can force it as one ( I don’t know who) said, ” a man has to go his own way”.


New experiences :

Okay, now you have met new people, found out an opportunity to pursue and you start to go down that path, then welcome experience. Every path we go down has only extreme solutions : it will go extremely good or it will go very bad. In either case, you are going to have an experience and a story to tell others. Though not many people shares their stories. Misers. But we doesn’t try to think that our past experiences decides how are we going to react to the similar events in the future. Some people are smart and they start to put up shields in case again the events go in downward spiral but some people are like, who just again take a dive without any caution of what could and would happen. But this approach has a hidden advantage and that is we know the risks but our focus is on to reap rewards. This is quite ambiguous and in depth explanation requires case studies (which is not a blog post meant for).


So, here is to a new chapter in our life’s book.

New People, New Opportunities, New Experiences.


Adieu 2016! 

Okay, again we are in the month : December.

Time for all the New Year resolutions to be revisited to see how many points decided by us is actually done by us. Some guys will have all the points taken care by them, some will have partial and then some who hadn’t done anything. Those people are my people and we all comprises the group Procrastinators. We are sometimes ran over by the world and sometimes we run over the world. Okay, enough of this shit chat.

I don’t know about your 2016 but I hope it was equally exciting like my 2016. On the hindsight, it was ying-yang year for me.  Lots of good things happened , but I have seen the worst of things too.

Year started on a good note, will end on a good note most probably but in the middle it was a bumpy ride. If you are a regular here, you would know if you don’t, then let me ask you What the fuck are you doing here? Never mind, you and me, we both are incorrigible. Animal instincts, may be.

So now let’s count good things:

  1. Star Wars Rogue One.

  2. Inkaar.

  3. Billions.

  4. Batman v superman ultimate edition.

  5. Suicide Squad.

  6. Sultan.

  7. Fan.

  8. Dear Zindagi.

The bad things :

  1. Batman v superman theatrical cut

  2. Dengue

  3. Leg fracture

Those are the main things, important things which are accounted. There are definitely lots of things which aren’t accounted but exists.

Let’s try to remember them chronologically.

  • Got chance to work with 2 brilliant clients. Met some interesting people there. Some were terrifically brilliant and some, terribly stupid. But it was an experience working with them.
  • Saw some brilliant Series this year. Billions. House MD. Incorporated (ongoing). Bulls (ongoing).
  • Met some wonderful peoples. Made some friends. Made some enemies. This year, new enemies outnumbered new friends. Woah!, this is a bad thing. Hoping that 2017 will bring a different situation.
  • Rekindled some old friendships. Hero and Gillu shifted to Bangalore. Scientist shifted to Hyderabad but is coming back in January ‘17. Selfie switched to Wipro.
  • Khiru is now an Auditor at C&AG. Finally, he found something he will enjoy doing.
  • 1 hair cut in entire year and that too because I got dengue and needed to go to Jamshedpur and folks at home don’t like long hairs. Will try for 2 in 2017.
  • Due to on-off hospital visits, no trips this year.
  • Some pics I took this year of which I am proud of. You can have a quick look at them if you want.

    This slideshow requires JavaScript.

  • One plus one got retired in early August. Today there was news of Cyanogen Inc shutting down.
  • Two friends bought DSLR ‘s and I liked their photography pages on Facebook. One is a brilliant photographer, other I don’t understand what does he wants to do other than attention seeking.

On the blogging side :

25 posts. (Target of posting twice a month achieved.)

1145 visitors. (Last year it was 850)

12000 views.  (Last year it was ~9000)
These figures are disappointing considering the points that not even the people present in my friendlist (both Facebook and Twitter) reads them. Only 2-3 reads them and I know it thanks to WordPress comprehensive stats system. So when your friend circle doesn’t read it, then how it will reach to more people because they have to react to it so that it may reach to more (different) people from their respective friendlists. But they don’t read it and if they are reading it, they need to react on it. I have around 320 people in my Facebook friendlist and only 65 accepted Page-like request.
This year’s biggest lesson :

You need to have a vehicle to gain and maintain friends if you don’t have good looks.

I don’t know how to ride and drive and I am definitely not decent looking. So that explains all.
Fuck you guys! May you all rot in hell.

A pretty insignificant year, I think.

This time, there isn’t a video section, instead there is my Saavn playlist for the year 2016.

Atlast , Happy New Year fellas ! 


Oh No ! Not again.

Those were the first thoughts of Mr A when he woke up at 10 PM.

Now what I am going to do the whole night? Wait, all shops would have already started to close now, what about dinner?

Sensing the reality of the dinner situation, he lit up a cigratte and went out. Night was cold as Bangalore had started to feel the chill. This year it is late. Mr A is in bangalore since 2014. Most of the time, cold weather starts after the Durga Puja itself. But this time, it is late. That means coming summer will be worse than what it was this year. He came out of his residence and started walking, step by step, puff by puff. He decided it is not a wise decision to sleep anytime of the day other than the night and he is not going to do it again, purposefully.

His go-to food shop is closed. Shop next to it is also closed. The entire lane which offers decent food for the North India homesick stricken people are closed. Dhabas are also closed. Mid level food shops, too. Wait, something is wrong. He said to himself. Very less commotion at this hour is not common in Bengaluru especially if you live anywhere nearby Tech Parks and all Tech Parks are on the Outer Ring Road. Something has to be wrong. He took out his phone and fired up the Twitter to see if anything relevant to this situation is there or not. Modi had made 500/1000 rs note illegal. This was trending for past 2 hours. It is a master stroke as all money laundering shops like jewelry shops, appliances shops, etc were either closed till now and were about to close down for the day. He thought, that’s why everybody had closed the shops earlier. Wait, I have one 1000 rs note. Thank God, I didn’t withdrew money today. Being lazy has it’s own advantages. He consoled himself for being a lazy lad. He has great gift of self assuring. Sometimes this gift comes handy. But now he has to figure out how to buy dinner and how to exchange his 1000 rs note because instead of standing in queue to get it exchanged, he would rather hold onto it as a token of memory. He is incorrigible in his approach to situations when he has to do some physical work.

Something must be open, with this hope he started walking. Then he found a shop. Small, family store which accepts cards. He thought of trying to get rid of the notes first before going full card mode. It isn’t 12 so there is a chance he can get rid of them. There has to be someone who doesn’t watch news and is oblivious to the happenings around them. He had learnt it in a hard way that people don’t like keeping up with the news. He started going up the ladder to see if shop is open or not. He has some bizarre experiences so he doesn’t know when shop is open or not for sure . There was this girl coming out of the shop with maggi packets. He asked her shop is closing or is closed? The girl replied what’s the difference and left. Mr A thought what a horrid bitch and reached the shop. He has a soft corner for tall and odd girls. Normal run of the mill girls doesn’t attract him. He tried dating two of those kind and failed miserably. He believes sane girls will not be able to cope up with his insanity. There were 2-3 people in the shop. He entered and started finding something to eat which can be termed as the dinner. He took some maggi packets and fruit juice and went to the billing counter. The girl there said we aren’t accepting 500/1000 rs notes and if we want to use them, we have to do shopping of that amount. Okay 1000 rs note means around 80 packets of maggi. So he asked what more can be done here? She said shop for 500 min and they will be fine. Mr A had stopped eating maggi but now he had no other option. So better collect it, will use it when required, he thought. So he took 10 packets of maggi and two packets of Marlboro with a hope that he will take at least 1 week to end them. He is not addicted but he needs something when he is bored. Previously it was food, then it was cold drink and now it is cigrattes. It needs to be controlled, he thought. And after due payment, he came out of the shop only to find that tall girl again. She was standing near the stairs , probably waiting for someone . He will never know the reason. He smirked at her and she doesn’t gave a reaction. He thought she must be having high standards. For him, high standards means high maintainence. So he left but there was something odd about that girl. On the way back, he was thinking about that. She was no doubt cute and no doubt a smart one too. Verbal skills and eye movement gives out the real brain behind the people. People say “still” posture people are the intelligent ones, but no suckers, they are the retarded one as they think they know and control their surroundings. That happens only in books and movies. In real life, if you are “still”, you are about to be fucked off the limits of stupidity. 

Then he realized something is odd about this year only. He recollected his memories of past years and saw all those years gave him something good and something bad in balance with each other. He didn’t figured it out then, but now everything is clear. But this year, not a single good thing had happened. If getting to know the real faces of the people is a good thing, then he may some good things for the recollection of this year in the future.

Panic attacks, food poisoning, dengue, hairline fracture. This year was a disaster to him. This year destroyed everything he had : his body, his mind, his beliefs, his relationships and his life. He believes in karma but never truly believed in it. He had lived his life in arrogance. Committed a lots of mistakes. Rubbed a lot of people in wrong way.

May be this year was his year of reckoning. It may be, it may be not.

Who knows?

Only time will tell.


Okay , enough. Now videos which got me hooked recently.





Everytime once in a while , you come across a movie which you end up watching more than 7 times in a week. Many times , the situation is you are in love with a character . This happens with DC IPs , Marvel IPs and some movie series . But when this happens with a simple experimental movie ,with no major starcast and marketing , it becomes an experience which screams to told and shared.


Inkaar came out in 2013. I didn’t saw it that time with Preetam because I had different taste at that time and life was hellfire then. Now when I look back at those times, I feel I was stupid then. But who knows, maybe I am stupid now and was wise then. Leave it , once what is done, is done; lamenting isn’t going change anything, I assume.


Inkaar was a movie with Rashomon story telling technique. It has multiple interpretations . This is my version. You may have different. And different versions breeds discussions which can lead to a wonderful evening of talks. Siddhant, are you listening?

Sudhir Mishra is a gifted film maker with an uncanny knack of making movies which can force you to think about the subject. His movie Inkaar is a treatise on corporate life, office politics , love and Sexual Harassment. While preparing for this movie , he was, I assume, in awe of the series Mad Men. He ended up writing a fan fiction account of Don Draper and Peggy Olsen.


Mishra and his team had done a brilliant work in setting up the characters.

He chose Arjun Rampal to play Rahul Verma , proverbial Don Draper. Smart , Charismatic and Arrogant, a small town boy who is not shy to let this achievements speaks for him. He is shown to worked on his attitude to shake off his small town complex and compete with the bullies from the metros. He is feared by the Upper Management as he is the brand of the agency KK & Doyle and loved by the subordinates for his support and grooming of talent by putting them at the right place at right time.


Then there is Chitrangada Singh as Maya Luthra, proverbial Peggy Olsen. Small town girl, ambitious , talented and bit-too-emotional. Don’t take quoted emotional in negative sense , it is an asset when your day job is to sell things to masses.
This is a story revolving around them which can be summarized as : “At a leading ad agency, the battle for the top job between Rahul Verma, the advertising CEO, and Maya Luthra, his ambitious protégée, takes an ugly turn when Maya files a sexual harassment complaint against Rahul.”

But is it that simple ?
No , it isn’t. It is a movie about the dark side of corporate culture. The corporate world is more or less like a black hole which sucks an individual into it with such force that an escape becomes impossible. As the individual is sucked deeper it becomes more and more difficult for him/her to lead a normal life. The relationships suffer as one fails to attend to the needs of the loved ones. And by the time one realizes that he/she is surrounded by more strangers than friends ,it’s too late.


The greatest challenge is to draw the line between flirtation and harassment. Once that is taken care of the next challenge is to fathom the reality that, contrary to the popular belief, both the sexes are equally prone to sexual harassment.
And that’s where the subjective element comes into the picture.

Who’s the victim? Who’s the accused?

The movie starts with the proceedings of the committee formed by the agency to sort out the matter internally without drawing much outside attention. As the hearing progresses, it becomes more and more difficult to discern who is speaking the truth and who is not. While the versions of Maya and Rahul only differ slightly there is enough deviation to perplex the most astute of minds.
The manner of proceedings, though completely alien to Indian cinema, is strikingly similar to Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa’s groundbreaking masterpiece Rashomon (1950), which is widely regarded as a cinematic treatise on the subjectivity of truth. In Rashomon, Kurosawa had highlighted, for the first time in cinema, that discrepancies can actually exist among the different versions of the same event (as narrated from the perspective of the different parties). These discrepancies testify the subjective nature of truth. This is sometimes also referred to as “The Rashomon Effect”. In Inkaar, Misha succeeds at several fronts (mostly from the cinematic point of view), but he fails miserably in one regard. Inkaar fails to remain true to its core theme, that of sexual exploitation. The typical Indian film audiences are not accustomed to shocks and surprises. They want to be spoon-fed and are easily agitated by a filmmaker who tries to test them in any manner. Maybe this is the reason why movie is not mainstream among audiences.

I am not going to write down the entire story here. Get up and see it . You will not regret it. If you regret it, tell me as that will be the time to talk about the future of our friendship or any relationship we have.

The lead actors get good support from the supporting cast.

Deepti Naval cameo is a major highlight of the movie.


Vipin Sharma’s Guptaji is a person who can be found around us very easily.


Kaizaad Kotwal shines as KK, a spineless named partner of the agency who is shit scared of the current happenings in the agency.

Inkaar is a movie for people who watches movies to broaden their perspectives.

Video Section:



Life is a bliss since last post (sort of).

Office Blues

Not in a fixed project, so have the power of going to and coming from office at anytime I desire but with one condition : Fortnightly average should be 9 hours. Cognizant was a good place to be at when I joined back in 2014 but with recent hiring of Infosys’ guys, it is becoming a Nazi Concentration camp,  month by month. That’s not good. You can’t just change your culture for the sake of some good for nothing MBA’s hired from a company which I have hated since childhood. I kinda liked Wipro but Infosys was a big no – no.

Kindle Unlimited

Amazon’s and Flipkart’s annual sale ended few weeks back.  Didn’t found anything worth buying. But got a very good deal for Kindle Unlimited. 50% discount for all the Kindle Unlimited subscription plan.The Kindle Unlimited library has 10 millions + books. Thanks to the deal, I ended up reading a lots of books in just 2 weeks. Average would be 1 book in a day. That’s cool even for my reading speed standard. 

Kindle Unlimited is a nice online library sort of service. You can go to the Kindle  Unlimited catalog to select the books and at max, you can take only 10 books to read and after that return one to get a new one. Just hoping Amazon to give me a nice deal when my subscription ends next October.

Here is the complete list of all the books which I consumed so far.


  1. India has surely come a long way since Chetan Bhagat and Durjoy Dutta days. Ravi Subramanian and Vish Dhamija are leading the pack. Their writing is a goal for the all the aspiring writers. Ravi Subramanian and Vish Dhamija are the only contenders to be the India’s John Grisham. Very detailed and absolutely no plot loopholes.
  2. Self-help books are shit books. They aren’t useful. Main thing is to listen to your heart but take a step forward by consulting your brain only. Your heart can take you to the drainage of your locality.
  3. Trying out new authors can be a tricky situation as most of the books are bound to be shit like the Sachin Garg’s, ” Come on Inner Peace! I don’t have all day!”. The worst book I have read in my life so far. I thought maybe this book is bad but when I inquired some of my friends about Sachin Garg’s other books, reviews were quite similar to mine observation. His books are shit. He just writes to capitalize on the recent trends. Above mentioned book is a capitalisation on Breaking Bad. Inshort, Sachin Garg is worse than Chetan Bhagat. Rest you can figure out if you have ever read books apart from courseworks.


Why do I write? 

Somewhere down the line I realized that complete strangers were frequenting my blog and sharing their views with me. I started receiving mails from people who sometimes agreed with me whole heartedly and sometimes were at loggerheads with me. This was fun. Blogging had suddenly become a means for intellectualization, for debate, for arguments and for agreements. But somewhere around this point things started going wrong. Vanity they say is the Devil’s favorite sin. I started getting a kick out of the fact that my blog was receiving around 100 unique hits daily. Checking the site meter and net traffic records became an obsession. The simple reason for which I had started my blog was lost. I just wanted to share my life, my views and my thoughts with my friends. But I will not give up blogging. My blog, since it is essentially about my life, might seem like an exercise in ego-feeding to some but to me it is the only way of communication with my friends. So I will continue blogging in the same way I have been for the last 16 months. No site-meter, no net traffic records, just blogging. I have enjoyed the discussions that resulted from my blog and I hope my writing inspires further discussions. In all of these, I noticed a strange thing. Strangers are more interested in talking about my posts than my known people. They just ignore whatever I write. I don’t know the reason.

The reasons may be on these possible observations:

  • they are too primitive to understand these things.
  •  they actually have a life which I know they don’t. Suckers.
  • Some are too busy in their ego-feeding and false superior thinking that they just can’t appreciate some original thinking. (Jealous Assholes)


Better to ignore them and carry on blogging, amigo. May the force be with you!

One thing good has happened in all these blogging years and I am quite happy about it.Thoughts are getting converted to words more easily these days and there is a new clarity in my thinking.




Yes. A lesson was learnt the hard way. Mosquitoes were definitely there, but due to my carelessness, I thought I will buy the mosquito repellent in the coming month as it is only 5 days away  and what worse thing could happen in mere 5 days? But what happened completely blew away my mind. 

Prelude :

Office work was less so thought of going back to pg early and have some fun as it was Friday. So complete plan was set for booze and chicken. And they did happen as planned. 

And then the main thing happened. I started feeling severe body pain in the evening. I thought the chicken was bad or was badly cooked, so it was happening due to gastric issues and it will be over soon with eno and digene.  But then things worsen further. I was burning like a coal furnace due to high fever, so again I became doctor and took paracetamol. I couldn’t sleep that night due to fever and headache. Somehow the night passed. Next morning, I had to attend a blogger-meet-up at M G Road so popped two paracetamol and attended it. Writing blogs is a serious business and people are doing it full time with 100x more effort than me. And there is me who just writes because he has to write twice a month. I am incorrigible. When I was returning from meet-up, body pain and stomach pain began at full pace. So called my mom to know further about medicines which can be taken in this scenario. Mom told to call uncle and go to hospital.I have never liked hospitals. Since childhood, my grey cells have associated disease, pain and suffering with these institutions. On a conceptual level I understood that hospital is where people are cured from diseases. But the irrational side of my brain viewed all hospitals with great distrust. I decided to give it a night and to decide further actions in the morning. But wasn’t able to sleep that night due to body pain, stomach pain and fever. Everything at once. Gosh, that was painful. It felt like someone had broken all the bones of my body. Somehow passed the night and called my uncle first thing in the morning and told him that I need to get to a hospital. Till then, I didn’t had any rashes on my body, so nobody (including me) was thinking about dengue. He gave Dolo 650 and till evening I was getting better and was ready to get back to my normal life from Monday. But that night, again everything came back to haunt me with their new friend. Next morning I couldn’t even stand/sit properly due to weakness. So I was rushed to Columbia Asia emergency room where they put some fluids on me so that they can give me medicine. I was not in a position to eat due to stomach pain and the medicine were of high strength/power so I needed food for them. Meanwhile they started all the tests. Typhoid and Malaria came back negative but Dengue came back positive with my platelet count around 85000. Doctor wanted me to get admitted but I said NO and decided to get back home and follow the treatment from there. But due to body pain and stomach pain, I wasn’t able to eat anything. So in the night, when I went for my platelet count check, I asked to get admitted. And got a decent corner bed with two injections always injected in my body. So not much sleeping positions were left. But that was least of my concerns then. Thanks to the medicines and fluids, I slept that night and in the morning, my blood platelet count was 65000. My mom flew to Bangalore to be with me. In the evening, it was 60000. Next day it was 30000. And doctor asked me to be ready with the blood donors. I called up some of my friends and somehow managed up some donors from my office. I expected friends, but rescue came from office. So I really need to think about the peoples with whom I am spending my time. Bastards. Some changes are now necessary with the people I hang out with. I was tensed at that time as I didn’t have fever anymore, body and stomach pain had subdued but the platelet was on a downward spiral and doctors were not explaining anything so I lost control and ended up shouting on doctor even though she was cute. After shouting some explaination came. Next morning the platelets shot upwards to 50000 and that evening it was 55000. And that was enough for me to get discharge from hospital. My sister also came for the weekend. Shalini was also there. It was a potpourri of emotions at home at that time.  After some platelet checks, I came to Jamshedpur for my much needed vacation. I am on loss of pay, so don’t feel jealous of my vacation. 

Medication for dengue :

  • Paracetamol. 
  • Papaya’s leaves’ juice (very bad taste) 
  • Fruits (Pomegranate especially) 
  • Liquids. About 5-6 ltrs in a day. 
  • Patience. You can’t understand blood platelet’s spiral movement with numbers theory. So it’s better to sit through it. 

The boring part just ended. So smile now.  Now to the 15 days at home. 

Tried to read AngularJs but that language is a complete ass. Never seen anything complicated like that in my life. Still figuring it out. It is going to take much more time than I allotted to it. It do reduces the front end development time but damn the difficulty level of first time learning is damn too high. But hey,  learning something new is always a good thing.

Movies. Lots of movies were in the to-watch bucket. Saw them. Mentioned below will be the worthy ones. Why would I write that I had watched Mohra, Gabbar is back, Special 26 and Tridev for the nth time? Huh! 

  • Baar baar dekho. It is more like Blah blah dekho. Trailer was so good and the movie was such a blunt piece of work. I had high hopes for this movie. It is one time watch and that too because of music and Sayani Gupta (she is love).  
  • Kapoor and Sons. It is the clear example of everything will turn out right if you get the ending right. The story was brilliant and the execution was just perfect. Shakun Batra is one of the thoughtful filmmakers in India today. His first movie Ekk main aur Ekk tu redefined the friendship among different genders and one sided love story among friends. Songs were not needed that much but Karan Johar can’t make movies without some tipping soundtracks. And in the process, he destroys them with Badshah and Neha Kakkar. Bastards. 

Seqoiua Hack 2016. Live streamed the entire event for complete 3 days through Periscope. That app is pretty awesome. Got to know tons of new things during the event in the domain of Product Management, Hiring, Retention, Design Thinking and general UI/UX use cases in rapid scaling of startups. NoSql session was just brilliant. Manak Taneja nailed it. I played with that few months back, but never actually figured out it’s actual use but now somethings are clear. Need to revisit it after I am done with Angular Js. 

Le eco le 2. Got this phone and due to dengue got admitted in the hospital. So didn’t got much time to play with it. So I played with it then. Camera is good. Decent detailing of the images. Your fb, instagram and Twitter feed pics will look great but don’t expect professional level photographs. Took a lots of pictures. Have a look on them with below link. If you have shaky hands and you find it tough to keep your hands still while taking pictures, OIS is there for rescue. But too much spot and point focus while clicking the image can jeopardize your OIS. So use it carefully.  Gaming is good. Minimum heating and was able to handle all the heavy graphics games like Asphalt and Injustice and Batman Arkham Origins. EUI gives you an iOS skin on android so it can be called 12k iPhone. Carrying Feel is good. Need to get a proper size cover for it as it looks like a pretty good looking device and I don’t want any more scratches on it. It is a good deal in it’s price range of 12k. The biggest low is the battery life. Check this snapshot. Battery is full charged nearly 3 hours ago and the remaining life is coming up nearly 4 hours more. That means total of 7-8 hours. And I was basically using it for Twitter, Inshorts and Amazon. 

In-built apps are not good functionality wise. If this is going to be your first phone, you will be delighted with their designs but if you are a pro, you may want to use third-party apps preferably the Google one’s like Google Play for music, YouTube for a cleaner video experience. I am using Piktures as my default image viewing app. Google photos is good but only if you are always online. Offline experience is not that good. So Piktures. For an always-an android user, getting used to this device may take some time. I still sometimes gets lost while searching for some apps and I am using it extensively since last 3 weeks. 

One plus one isn’t going to retirement any time soon. Both will be used. 

Two pics are of Bengaluru, 3-4 of Patna Airport and rest of Jamshedpur.

Birthday was well spent at home. After 6 years, I was at home for my birthday. So this is the silver lining of getting affected by Dengue. Atleast something good happened. 

Now I am giving it final editing and touches on my way back to Bengaluru. The entire post was written in 1 week. Everyday somethings got added and somethings got removed as they weren’t fitting well with others. Editing is a tough task but is an important thing. Some nuisance stuff is going on in the office. Stressful days are coming. Mail chains aren’t clear so will have tough days to figure out what the fuck everyone is upto. Really hate these guys. 
Music Video section :