Owning.

I own things. I also follow minimalism. And Minimalism clearly states “have only those which can help you live“. But I think I am allowed to have some indulgence as I am not a 100% minimalist till now. But one day, I will be.

Why am I writing this?
Because I am going to get me a new device. Le Eco Le 2. Yes, not a known brand. But I owned One Plus One and Micromax Canvas and Asus Zenfone 2 when they were not considered “good” and “not reliable”. I was wrong in the case of Asus Zenfone 2 though. More on this later.

Let’s chart the journey since the start.

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My first device was Nokia 2600 classic which my father gave me in 2008.  I used it for 3 years by repairing it 3 times. One time, it fell in the water, and 2 times, my anger took better of me. It had only 16 Mb internal memory and no external storage options. Camera was VGA and it didn’t matter much at that time as I was not into taking pictures. But listening to songs were an issue. So I used to convert all the songs to “amr” format and then transfer it to the device. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptive_Multi-Rate_audio_codec. 

The “amr” format songs are good for headsets but not for speakers. But somehow I managed it. Videos were converted to 3gp format. That format videos were bad, just bad.

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Then came Nokia 2700 classic in 2010 . I was a Nokia fan boy then. It was good. 2 MP camera, 32 Mb internal and 2 Gb external memory. It was the coolest phone at that time. But that phone stayed with me for a little period of time as my neighbor in the hostel stole it and I know you son of a bitch. Dude, the phone was just 6k back then, you could have bought it, not stolen it. I was in love with that phone, so I again bought the same phone and that stayed with me for 2 years. Even I took it with me in my Nepal trip. I took some pictures there and they aren’t bad.

Just have a look at them. They are pretty!
https://goo.gl/photos/QQHaekcnWhaUt2636

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Then came the beast. Samsung Galaxy Y Duos in 2012. 3 MP camera, 290 Mb ram, 512 Mb internal memory and 32 Gb external memory . Subway surfer and Temple Run were the reasons how I passed the time in the classes and the first time touch screen device, it was a bliss.

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Then came Micromax Canvas Fun in 2013. Slight upgrade but it didn’t disappoint all the time I used it and still it is working fine. It was and still is an awesome looking device. Many people used to confuse it with Lumia and that is possible if you just the Micromax symbol. I gave it to my mom when she needed a spare one as it was just laying at my home.
4.5-inch (480 x 854 pixels) TFT capacitive touch screen display
1.3 GHz dual-core MediaTek MT6572 processor
Android 4.2.2 (Jelly Bean) OS
Dual SIM (GSM + GSM) with Dual Standby
10.1 mm thick
5MP auto focus camera with LED flash
0.3MP front-facing camera
512MB RAM,
4GB internal memory (1.25 GB user memory)
32GB expandable memory with MicroSD
3G, Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g/n, Bluetooth,GPS
3.5mm audio jack
FM Radio with Recording
1500 mAh battery

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Then I joined Cognizant and bought Asus Zenfone 5. The phone was good but bad software updates and not finely tuned hardware made it a bloatware device. And as I was waiting for more than 3 months for getting Lollipop update and it met with an accident and died. Though the phone was one of the best configuration in 10k range, it was not able to run Asphalt and Injustice : God Among Us and that disappointed me a lot. When you have 2 Gb of ram and 1.2 GHz processor, your device should run these games flawlessly.

Then for a mere 20 days, I owned Moto G2, so I didn’t used it for a sufficient amount of time so can’t say much about the device.
Why did I buy it for 20 days?
I bought it for a long term but I got a good offer to get an One Plus One and I took it.

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Those who own this device, you have my respect for a smart choice. But I can’t say it for One Plus 2 owners as after 1 year since launch, the device is now a stable one. But One Plus 1 was kicking asses since day 1. A flagship killer, as was advertised by One Plus was completely true and it performed well.

If it performed well, then why I am upgrading?
Many reasons.
It was the last and the only Cyanogen Mod device by One Plus. After that they completely switched to Oxygen OS which is one of the best modded Android out there. You don’t believe me, just go to a guy who owns One Plus 3 and see it for yourself. You will thank me. With total of 4 phones under its belt, I don’t think One Plus will continue to keep thinking about One Plus 1 as rest three of their devices runs on Oxygen OS. Updates will be there but I don’t it’s hardware can keep up with the software in the coming months. But updates sure will keep your device kick ass.
I have dropped my phone enough times in last 1.5 years. You can imagine what level of drops I am taking about if I tell you I had to change three back covers because of the damage. Still the Nokia habit, it seems. I am not disowning it completely. I will keep it with me. I love this device.

Now looking at this new device, a lots of new possibilities and experiences are looking in the coming days.

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Phew!!!

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End of a phase!

Ah! Independence Day is coming and with it my 2 year long vacation is coming to an end.

For the first time in many years it is time to regain the kind of focus I was always known for in the past . I have slowly been feeding the monster of competitiveness which had been lying dormant inside me for the last five years. This is one side of me which most of my new friends have never seen and which most of them wouldn’t like. But I have learnt a very valuable secret in the last few years: I have learned how to tame this beast that I can become. However, I am unleashing it now and the world will have to live with this new change and accept me for who I am or else they can go to hell . This is the only way I can achieve the targets I have set out for myself. I will revert back to the good old vacation mode me as soon as this personal mission is fulfilled.

Paid vacation leave for 2 years.
This has been on my mind since 2007 but I never figured out how to go about it. So after college, I decided to go for it. I was in no relationship so there was no fuss-fuss and my parents were cool with my decision. So I had nobody to answer to.

Rules for vacation were clear :
1. No money from parents. Adjust with what you earn.
2. Try out everything whatever is out there.
3. Read. Read. Read.
4. Watch indie and experimental movies from all over the world.
5. Listen to songs other than commercial craps.
6. Met new and interesting people.
7. Eat. Drink. Everything.
8. Write. Learn to write.
9. Figure out what is minimalism.
10. Develop a philosophical support system.

I had a offer and took it and after shifting to Bengaluru started my vacation. Met new people, made some great friends, few relationships (one of which almost took me to the aisle) and tons of great experiences and worked only that much so that I can’t be fired from job because that could be a bad thing.

My paid vacation ended on a cheerful note. CTS Performance Consulting team was happy with me and I was sort of happy with them. The time spent there made me realize that I was an excellent engineer and the time I had spent in the classroom/blogs/hackathons/forums over the last 4 years hadn’t gone to waste. It however strengthened my conviction of not working in the field of Performance Consulting . It is good but it is not of much help to get me where I want to end up. But I am still at it and searching a way out and will find it soon as I have 2 years to catch up too before making any moves.

Life has been worrying me for some days now and I called up some of my friends to get some advice. They gave me some advice the other day which can be perfectly summarized by one of Cat Stevens’ song. I hope some day I am able to give the same advice to some who might need it.

It’s not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You’re still young, that’s your fault,
There’s so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I’m happy.
I was once like you are now, and I know that it’s not easy,
To be calm when you’ve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you’ve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

This vacation had its rewards but not without a good dose of danger.

I swear to return to the same relaxed boozed out one some day when I have accomplished the task set by nature.

Long time, no see? Must there be a reason.

Well there is no reason.

Actually there is. I have run out of ideas. Last month was tough, both mentally and physically. So didn’t went out much and seen something on which I can write.

Mentally , office work was all time high. Out of three projects in which I was involved (one alone and two with team), last one was the project which has maximum work and minimum learning. Previous two were brilliant projects, “work which involves learning new things” is always a good thing . But what is done, is done. Nothing will be gained by talking about it. Last project can be easily be a case study for B-Schools about how to not manage a project.

On the other side, I got sick and ended taking up a long leave. And that leave period wasn’t a good experience. You can’t enjoy anything when your body is in pain. So to keep myself busy, I ended up revising three complete movie series.
1. Indiana Jones.
2. Star Wars.
3. Tolkien Legendarium.

J.R.R. Tolkien was one of the early pioneer in the world of fantasy story writing. Tolkien is rightfully popularly identified as the “father” of modern fantasy literature—or, more precisely, of high fantasy.

Tolkien’s Legendarium was not the first fantasy story books I read in my life. Harry Potter series were the first and with every book in that series lead to a sense of “something is missing” in me and with the Tolkien’s Legendarium, I met with such finest literary work which completely blew away my mind. Tolkien created a “body of more or less connected legend”, of which “the cycles should be linked to a majestic whole, and yet leave scope for other minds and hands, wielding paint and music and drama”.

George Lucas is also one of the finest story tellers in the world who created a completely new world with Star Wars series. Let’s see where the series will go on after the new sequels and spin-offs.

Both are the examples of what would happen if you let your imagination run wild in the right direction.

And as Harry Potter is concerned, I don’t have plans to read the latest book “Harry Potter and the cursed child” as it seems like just crushing the leaves to extract guttation fluid whatever is left in it after complete use in one cycle. Fluid may or may not come, but we will extract it, this is the thinking of the publisher and the studio who produced their theatre adaptations with a hope that it will make money and they are surely making money with that.

Akshar Pathak clearly demonstrated it in his tweet.

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Creating a connected story universe.

This is where DCEU failed.

Yesterday I saw Suicide Squad. It was definitely better than the theatrical cut of Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice but same as the Ultimate Edition. Though it was funnier and have more coherent story structure, but it wasn’t good enough. People who had read and lived comic book storylines will agree with me on this but the newbies will disagree as they just started knowing things from the movies only. But let’s hope other titles which are due next year will be good as Ben Affleck and Geoff Johns had taken helm at DCEU and with trailers of Wonder Women and Justice League, things are looking good. Or it may be just my wishful thinking. I am a hardcore DC fan but I still admit Marvel had setup their cinematic universe brilliantly brick by brick. DC may have a long way to go but with their supportive fans both cinematic universes are here for some time. And hopefully we will get to see a lot of comic book adaptations.

Hey, why I am writing this type of things?
You may ask why there is no mention of girls, beers and some short stories and I will reply “Suckers, things are changed and I see fire. “.

Some movies are like wine, the older they get the more meaningful they become. One of that type of movie is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Brad Pitt’s one of the best performances. Right now it is going on in my laptop as with Torrent sites ban, I don’t have many new things to watch. It feels like we are again in the Napster Era where all media companies are against the free distribution of copyright materials but someway or another, it will be distributed. It is just a never ending battle between free distribution hackers and media industry lobbied governments. And we all know who will win this.

Okay enough chit-chat.
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Now the songs which are #NowPlaying.

Hairs which blew away my mind

I started this post with the title “Hairs”. It then became the “Hairs which blew my mind” without a single extra word being added. But now I am sticking to the same title, I decided for it.

This is going to be a very disjointed post. I will ramble and go off on complete tangents with extreme regularity. Seekers of coherence – tread carefully. For here be dragons.

I was late to the office despite of the continuous taunts of why I come to office late. I don’t get late. I go around 10.30 am and come back around 9 pm and make sure before leaving, I am completing all my dues for the day. So I was working on my assignment without taking my normal breaks to roam around office (I still like roaming around though I am about to complete 1 year at the office.).  Then after finishing it, I noticed time and it was lunch time. So I went for my lunch and decided to have my usual Veg Biryani. After that I and my friends decided to roam. On my way to the elevator, I was busy thinking about my in-progress story but then my eyes saw her. And for the first time, without even noticing the face, I got attracted to her and I decided to see her completely. And then WHAM, I was in love. Even my friends decided to take another elevator, but I was determined to take the elevator which she was taking. So I followed her and entered into the same elevator and then all hell broke lose as she remembered that she left something in the canteen and she wants to leave the elevator and the door was closing and I am a stupid prick, who just put his hands to stop the doors from closing making way for her to leave. But I was smitten. And I cursed my luck for it. But nothing was there left for me to do. So I decided to close that chapter and move on.

Around 5 pm, our favorite SVT environment was unstable and we couldn’t do any more on it, so I and Avishek decided to go out. And when we were about to go, Srini got busy and we have to wait for him. And I was hungry, so I stepped out to eat something. And then again, I saw her and decided to go to the same counter and I made sure that I got seat such that I can devour her (Stop judging me).  And I again followed her to the reception area, where she was about to wait for somebody and I decided to wait for Avishek and Srini there only. So I was observing her. And then I noticed she owns One Plus One and I thought cupid was about to do his work. But then her facial reaction gave me the hints I never wanted. She has a boyfriend. I know the looks, the girls makes when their boyfriends texts them.

My eyes seemed to be hopping around the reception like a bird, settling down for a moment and then flitting away. Those eyes – there was something about them. They would light up with the child-like excitement of discovery and then surge with the sadness of a bleeding heart. Guilt from betrayal would creep into them and then get pushed aside by the promise of love. But were they mine emotions or simply reflections upon the stories I was gathering with my wandering eyes?

I could feel her eyes on me. They were searching for something. They needed an answer. I looked straight into them and replied.

Now we both knew.
We understood.
We felt.
Love.

But then her boyfriend arrived. And the way he was talking to my Aphrodite, I would have punched his face if I was in college or outside the office but I decided to stop and let things unfold before me.

All the really really beautiful girls are dating complete losers-morons-mean-sons-of-warthogs who should drown themselves in small unassuming puddles of muck. And if they are not, that means they just broke up with one such guy and are waiting for another one of them to come along.

You beg to differ, do you? You know some really amazing woman who is not dating some, for the lack of a more appropriate word, chutiya. Then my dear friend, you have just witnessed a miracle of celestial proportions. Birds have crapped on me more than a dozen times, two coconuts have fallen on my back, a rock the size of a football has missed my face by a few inches in my bike adventures, and yet I have never witnessed this miracle.

Then, my friends arrived and I decided to get out of her presence.

I left alone.
She left with her boyfriend of sometime.

My head hurts when I think of the whole situation. Even I don’t have the answers to everything.

May be it’s my karma.

Okay, Karma, now I think I know the answer.

You.
Are.
My.
Daddy.

Dreams and Legacy

It’s been a while since I went out to experience some new things, so I don’t have any story to tell you. But what I have is 2 small pieces of my mind. LEGACY and DREAMS abhors me but I am drawn to it just like the moth to a flame.

Enjoy.

Dreams
Throughout my life I have been a dreamer. My dreams have been a constant source of images which are sometimes abstract, sometimes detailed; sometimes bizarre, sometimes beautiful; sometimes fear-provoking and sometimes calming, images that have left such an indelible impression on my memory that it is sometimes difficult for me to distinguish them from reality, images that have enriched my senses, all of them, so thoroughly that I remain eternally thankful to the process of sleep and the imperfectness of the human brain which leads to the random firing of weakly associated neurons, hence producing dreams. 

I often wondered how exciting it would be if I were able to spend all my time in the land of dreams. Dreams constantly challenged my notion of reality. They provided me sights so colourful, so rich in texture that the real world started looking dull, morbid. They provided me such thrills, such rushes of adrenaline that nothing in my otherwise regular, ‘real’ life could match up to them. I looked forward to sleep, dreams, nightmares, visions with enthusiasm such as I had never felt for anything else. Dreams were my sanctuary, a life away from life which pacified my on the run, over imaginative conscience. 

So it seemed like providence when dreams came to my aid, again. Dreams would finally help me realize my ambitions, my dreams.

Legacy
For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with creating a worthwhile and long-lasting legacy – something that will survive me, perhaps for generations to come. Legacy can be in the form of material wealth and riches. It can be in the form of ideas. An artist’s legacy is his work; a gangster’s his street-cred and the urban legends that surround his name. As an author I hope my stories are read for years to come (they better immortalise me – I’m looking at you, first draft of new story). But my concerns here are of a very different kind – a legacy of a more personal nature.

How do people remember us when we are no longer around (we need not have departed to our heavenly abodes, but perhaps moved to a different city)? Do they miss us? Do they remember us fondly? What is it about us that they miss? In short, did we have any impact on their lives? These questions trouble me often.

As we grow old we surround ourselves with people. Some of them fall by the wayside as time goes by – either because we outgrow them or perhaps due to circumstances.

Anyone who has ever lived in a megacity knows that a social group of friends and acquaintances (however close they may be) has a limited shelf life as a collective. The constant churning and flux of the city ensures that old faces disappear and new ones keep appearing.

But there are a few who remain connected to us at a much deeper level, irrespective of the time that has passed or the distance that separates us. These friends and companions are our extended family.

All of us have a few close friends we don’t communicate with on a regular basis – no phone calls, no Twitter replies, no Facebook comments, no emails, not even a new year’s greeting card. But these people are always in our thoughts – at every heartbreak and failure, at every moment of triumph and joy – these are the people we think of. Trivialities like distance and a lack of communication don’t affect such friendships. These friendships are our legacy.

But with friends there is also a legacy of shared experiences that transcends space and time. 

Now it’s time for random videos :

The First

She had made fun of me the first time we met.

The acerbic words, the colourful and often (more like always) hurtful diatribes I am now known for were missing in my repertoire back then. It was a time, when once I had found out that the female of the species Canis Familiaris is called a ‘bitch’, had found it exceedingly funny and decided to christen everything I met on my way back from school by the same name, my mom had put a little red chilly powder on my tongue and warned me that if I ever called a woman that she’d disown me.

She had made fun of me and I had remained silent.

I was four years old and she was about three years older and four fingers taller than me. She could have easily taken me.

She had made fun of me and I would have done the same if I were in her position.

You see, I still hadn’t mastered the subtle art of tying my shoelaces. I never really understood the whole ‘one little bunny goes over the bridge, hides below the hedge and is then pulled out by the evil witch’ bit. What the hell was a bunny doing on my shoes anyway?

She had made fun of me and then gone ahead and tied my shoelaces.

We had become friends instantly. And we were inseparable. We were together when I lost my first tooth, when she and I learnt to ride a bicycle, when her parents split, when she had her first period (the oddest day of my life so far), when Jurassic Park came to the theatres, when she was asked out on her first date …

And then my parents decided to move to a different city.

We were sitting on top of the water tank on my terrace (our favourite place). We had not spoken for over an hour. We just sat there looking at the houses around us, the play ground where we had learnt to climb trees together and our old school in the distance. We didn’t look at each other. We didn’t want to cry.

My mom called out from the driveway. They were ready to leave. I said I’ll be down in a few minutes.

I looked at her. And did something I had never expected to do. I kissed her, kissed her for the longest possible time. But something was amiss. She wasn’t responding. Her lips weren’t moving. I kissed her harder, pulled her closer to me. Nothing. I only withdrew when I felt her tears on my cheek. Her face was expressionless. She didn’t say anything.

My mom called again. I stood up in a daze. Said goodbye. She still didn’t say anything. I stood there for a moment and then climbed down the stairs.

On the way to the railway station I did not speak to anyone. All I could think about was her. Had I done something wrong? Had I destroyed the only friendship which meant anything to me? Had I …

I was fourteen years old. And that was my first kiss?

Passions : A Pregnant Pause, every now and then.

This post is the result of a comment someone left on my blog a long time back. Miss your comments Unknown.

As we grow old we tend to lose interest in things which earlier meant a lot to us. Interests change, priorities change and some of us tend to become more focused (others like me continue existing in a chaotic mode, aiming for a gazillion goals at once). This post is a form of therapy for me, a kind of an internal review.

Passions Past

Programming, Gadgets, the Works – I started programming when I was 10 years old. And I wrote code regularly till the age of 21. One of my most enduring friendships is a result of my shared interest in computers with my friend Ankir. I loved the anticipation just before a program was getting compiled. The ‘error free’ status was almost orgasmic. Though I have written code in most of the popular languages, C and Javascript will always have a special place in my heart. I fondly remember the good old high school days, the long nights writing thousands of lines of code. I was a nerd and I am proud of it.

But somewhere down the line I got tired of it all. I haven’t done any coding in almost two years. Miss the smooth motion of my fingertips on the keyboard sometimes. 12 years is long enough. Computers were my first love, my first mistress. Maybe I still am a nerd.

Passions in Hibernation

Women! Women!! Women!!! Women!!!!
Need I say anything else?

Quizzing

Enduring Passions

Writing

Advertising

Films

Reading

On the Verge of being Passions:

Long conversations

Beers

Doodling

Will keep adding to this list and keep it as a reference.

Songs on which I am hooked on these days.

New Dream and Disastrous Food

Today after 4/5 months, I left the office early around 6pm as there was not much left to do. So I left with a hope that I will have something good for the dinner after my disastrous lunch at ESC, Manyata Tech Park.

I spotted a short scrawny 22-something girl was standing with a tall (very) stunning enchantress. Contempt, hatred and loathing for my very being were tightly packed together in an unwavering look from the short one. I have drawn some sharp reactions from people in the past but this was the oddest of them all. And from a stranger who I could have squashed under my foot? Never!

Now I should have been thinking about an appropriate expression for my face. But somewhere the Tall Girl Alert had been activated in my brain and all thought processes had ceased. Instead of looking at the little one I was staring at the tall one. After a few seconds I realised I wasn’t blinking and I ordered this (I about to order something else but I am incorrigible about Tall Girls, I guess).

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There is this nice little shopping complex at Nagavara where I go quite often. Avishek needed to check out Samsung J7 as he finally decided to upgrade his old and tender Samsung Galaxy Duos after 4 long years. We went and enquired about it and before leaving we decided to have an Ice cream but I am not fond of the Ice cream shop there so I decided to have McDonald’s McFlurry.

Today as I was going about savoring every last piece of my order a big business family walked in. There was an old lady who was probably the head of the house hold and accompanying her were her three daughters-in-law with a whole bunch of toddlers. The old lady was a domineering woman with complete control over the workings of her family. Her sons kept calling her on the four mobiles that each of them were carrying and asking her permission to do this and that.She sat like an old powerful queen on the chair with her family members sitting all around her trying to please her and elevate themselves in her eyes. I was impressed by this matriarchal display of authority in what seemed to be an otherwise traditional Indian family. 

But then my eyes fell on the three daughters-in-law. All of them were wearing sarees and their heads were covered with the pallu as a mark of respect towards their mother-in-law (or maybe they had no other choice but to keep their heads covered). None of them looked a day over twenty-five and in fact one of them looked even younger than me. She had a baby in her arms and every now and then she would look at it and give a small, almost invisible and inaudible sigh. All of them had a smile on their face, a very synthetic smile, a very artificial smile which was not in keeping with the great food I was having. 

I stopped eating to take a better look at them, to peer through their eyes and see the truth behind those fake smiles. All I could see were broken dreams and crushed ambitions. All around them were young people talking excitedly about their future plans, their careers, the new film in the theatres; and sitting there with their heads covered and listening intently yet uninterestedly to an old queen were these three young women. Marriage and motherhood slapped on their faces. 

One could argue that they were happily married and what woman wouldn’t want to be a mother. May be the only ambition they ever nurtured was to become a house wife and raise sons who would grow up and marry more women like them or raise daughters who would be married off into other such families. May be they all enjoyed covering their heads with the pallu and listening to the words of wisdom of the old queen. But why did I hear the faint cry of a dream, a dream which knew its end was inevitable. She looked at the baby and took another sigh.

May be a new dream was born.

Now, videos time.

Enclosed by the walls

We don’t like to think. People will say they think about things all the time.

But do they do that?
No. They don’t. They are most probably lying to themselves and we all love to lie to ourselves because no one is going to see through the lie and as a liar you don’t want to see through it anyway.

The fault is not theirs completely. The main problem lies in our upbringing. Right from the moment we arrive on the earth, we are taught thinking is the way we feel about things and when we include feelings and thinking together we are on our way to be doomed and that’s the reality of the present world. The reason being we are not living in world of feelings rather we are living in a world of reasoning.

So what is thinking, by the way?
Many people have different definitions of it. I have mine.Thinking is basically looking at things in a logical way and understanding them with reasons. And that includes these:
1. What is this ?
2. Why is this ?
3. Where to put this ?
4. How to put this ?
5. When to put this?

Now let’s take an example to understand those 5 points. Let’s take the context of blogging.

1. What is this?
It is a blog to document my thoughts and understanding of the world.

2. Why is this?
For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with creating a worthwhile and long-lasting legacy – something that will survive me, perhaps for generations to come. Legacy can be in the form of material wealth and riches. It can be in the form of ideas. An artist’s legacy is his work; a gangster’s his street-cred and the urban legends that surround his name. As an author I hope my books are read for years to come if I finally ever write it but it is definitely on the cards. And Siddhant know why I do this? I am doing it for the next generation so that they can see and understand how I perceived the world and they are going to be super opinionated like me if I ever walk down to the aisle (hi mom) and to have an opinion they are going to need to have lots of perspectives known to them.

3. Where to put this?
I had a range of options but I chose a WordPress premium account because I am lazy and quite famous for starting things and never take it to completion and with a premium account, I am binding myself to this duty as my employer doesn’t pay me much but it is still enough to keep up my blog and booze and food.

4. How to put this?
Everyone has a way of learning things and my way is blunt and straightforward Q and A session. So if I am not writing about my past experiences, then my blog posts are usually in Q and A.

5. When to put this?
As soon as the idea pops up in my mind. Then I just need 4-5 hours to complete the entire writing and drafting process. But if the idea went out from attention even for a single day, then they are going to be in the drafts folder only. There are 5 posts and I think I am going to delete them because they didn’t make any sense to me as their time has passed.

So ask these 5 questions to understand anything and everything and the more deep your answer, the more clear you will be while performing that activity.

I always loved maths because there is no space for feelings there and whenever I tried to do anything which involved feelings, I messed up those things. That’s why I suck in all kinds of relationships as they wants me to be emotional all the times.

Right now, for a good span of time, I am meeting a lots of peoples and one thing is becoming clear to me is that we don’t like to think about things. We just want to assume about things and most importantly, we even don’t want to make our own assumptions, we just want to accept other’s assumptions and we absolutely love to brand those assumptions as our own.

We are now living in a world full of opportunities. The world of our parents are ending and with that all the options that world brought too. We can do almost anything. Our parents lived in a times when their options are limited and they had to make the best of it and our parents made the best of it because they liked to think about things. But now we have endless opportunities and we don’t think so we are just stuck in bad relationships, bad jobs, bad habits and many more.

How to see what is the difference between who thinks and who doesn’t think?

We all spend most of our leisure time on social media and we like to like, comment and share other’s brand new achievements, adventures and experiences. And we like to wonder how did they do it? They thought about it and tried to figure out the possibilities surrounding them and done that. So in that way, friends, thinking gives you an advantage to not have a boring life.

And while I am exploring new fields and learning new skills constantly – formal higher education is still not part of my life. I still have dreams of giving exams (I was a weird child – I was happiest sitting in an examination hall) and running through the corridors of a school or college. And while I have left higher education (a master’s and a PhD, perhaps) for my 30s, my quest to educate myself is at its peak. There has never been a better time to be a thinker than now.

Wait. From where does education comes into this?

Dude you can’t just start thinking just because you want to think. You need fodder to grow crops on a farm and that is where education comes into play. I am a supporter of learning (both formal and informal).

I believe that thinking is an acquired skill that can be developed over time. In the nature vs nurture debate – this skill definitely falls on the side of nurture. One also learns it by imitation – by observing others – parents, teachers, friends, mentors, colleagues, etc.

Its impact on personal and professional growth is huge if one acquires this skill at an early stage. Also, it is definitely something one can pick up later in life – albeit with a lot of hard work.

Are we doomed?
Most probably, Yes if we don’t start to think about things now.

Okay now is the time for some random music videos on which I am hooked on.

Aargh!!! Not again.

I am extremely mad at myself. I am so mad, that I feel crazier than usual. At times like these I wish there was someone who could whack me and straighten that convoluted head of mine.

This is a random post as I have nothing to write about. But there are lots of bits and pieces of thoughts in my mind from last couple of days and they are troubling me, so I decided to write them down. You may ask why can’t I write it in private? Writing in private takes the fun out of it and I have a pretty boring life so I like to have fun whenever I get chance. There is not a clear direction of what I am going to write about but a perfect example of how I like to think about things. Starting with puzzling Q and A and then deciding which one is better before settling down to form an opinion about it. I have opinions and you have to be ready with logic and explanations if you ever want to challenge my opinions.

Brace yourselves, Puzzled thoughts are coming!

1). I simply don’t know when to give up. I should learn to take a hint. Never been given a cold shoulder before (it’s happened once earlier, but that was just pathetic). The weird thing is, I don’t feel hurt – I just feel odd. Pride and arrogance tell me that there is no possible reason for anyone to ignore me. Or is there?
This is my punishment for being so easily amused and cheerful all the time – a good solid dose of depression. It’s definitely not helping the cause of writing. Neither is continuously thinking about the gorgeous girl who I always meet (accidentally) in the office elevator.

2). Every now and then I reach the conclusion that the Universe has nothing left to teach me. Or that whatever else is left, is either useless or redundant. I wallow in the splendid muck of my ignorance. And then the Universe drags me out, gives me a cold shower, cleans me from head to toe and proceeds to give me a whipping which would make any Los Angles dominatrix proud. I hear you loud and clear Universe.

You.
Are.
My.
Daddy.

3). Depression and excitement can go together – I am a stinking potpourri of emotions these days. I make myself sick.

4). I figured out something when I was twelve years old. I was a bright, precocious brat with a simple view of the world. I figured that elders (anyone who was older than me) had nothing to offer me as far as knowledge was concerned. Considering I was so young, this notion might look childish, but today I can add the weight of a decade of experience behind it. In my humble opinion elders have not been responsible for a single bit of knowledge in my head – either it was already there and I just needed to discover it or else I was smart enough to figure things out on my own. Elders may have played the role of a guide in some of the discoveries but given enough time I would have stumbled upon those hidden springs of knowledge on my own. A very egomaniacal thought but I stand by it.
I come to the next more crucial point. My mental growth is now almost stagnant; it has remained so for the last couple of years. 

5). Life is going on at a steady pace, which can be a good thing, but I prefer a sinusoidal curve. I some how feel that inertia has set in and I am waiting for something big and drastic to happen (ok I have a vague notion of the kind of thing I’ll call drastic, so it wouldn’t be a bolt from the blues). For now my fingers are crossed and double crossed.

It is ironic but even a steady and assured upward-looking future is sending me into a depression. Carpe diem, that’s what a friend said. How?